Sunday, January 17, 2016

Auteur Watch - Jenise Dixon

As we all know, film criticism is the worst thing to afflict mankind since the invention of the wheel, or perhaps the invention of cronuts.  Any circular objects are usually trouble.  But the only thing worse than criticism is not getting ANY criticism at all.  Take, for example, those home schooled students that Bill Maher once profiled, who came up with a Hitler emoji for their rock and roll band.  Or Ted Cruz.  In the case of Jenise Dixon, she falls somewhere into that vast middle ground that generally gets ignored.  Her film, Truth Hall, a slight variation on The Big Chill... which is itself a slight variation on The Return of the Secaucus Seven, only more watchable.... oh, s'z'nap... doesn't even have one external criticism associated with it!  Not one.
Okay, well... she's got some chops as an actor, even I gotta begrudgingly give her that.  So... any raves about that?  Well, probably nothing for something called Rescuing Desire which sounds a teeny bit like a direct-to-Cinemax feature, except that the title's too nerdy.  It'd have to have a title like Illicit Desires or Covert Temptations... something like that.  Not that I'd know, of course.  But generally reviewers don't give raves to "Dancer #1"-type roles, like Jenise/Jade has in it.  Sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do, right?  Let me check Dr. Gore's site... wow!  Nothing for Jenise?  NOTHING?!!!!  Oh well.  And yet, suddenly I'm getting the urge to see something called Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust.  Funny how the mind works.  No raves even for "First Time Felon," either... why do I keep getting Lucinda Jenney and Allison Janney confused?  Gotta work on that.
I guess we just have to face it: Jenise is probably sick of the industry at this point and threatening to leave... but WAIT!  A glimmer of hope on the horizon!  Her Truth Hall is about to become "Truth Hall," an Amazon Prime series... or something.  No shame in it!  Sometimes the best thing to do is turn your movie into a TV series.  They tried it with "A League of Their Own," for one... okay, bad example.  But they've all returned triumphantly!  Janae!  Lashon!  Gabriella!  Amber!  And sure, she could've gone Hollywood and replaced one of the actors with the likes of Garcelle Beauvais or ... oh, wait.  She did.  Gabriella's new to the cast, and Amber is now being played by the younger, more talented Tammi Mac.  Sucks 2BU, Tamara!  In any event, seeing as how you're a proud college graduate and all, Jenise, you might want to fix the spelling of "presentation" in the title.  Or maybe not!  Maybe "presentaion" is actually a word.  I don't think I've used the word "matriculated" in my lifetime, and I actually have reason to use it!  I'm not one to brag, typically, though.  Jenise does, however, in her IMDb Bio.  It says it's written by anonymous, but... c'mon.  Sorry, I'm stealing Bill O'Reilly's M.O. again.  I checked the official online home of matriculate, and I didn't see anything about a person matriculating to a city, but... close enough.  New York City's got a lot of schools in it.  A toast to Jenise Dixon.  Here's hoping that pilot takes off.  Resist the temptation of going to work for Tyler Perry!

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