Sunday, January 31, 2016

Oh, right... the Panda

See, if I was really good, I'd of used... have used the headline "Panda Express."  Oh well.  Amateur night this is.  Nothin' but Bush league amateur night.  Anyway, the latest DreamWorks animation kicks complete ass at the box office, and this time it's Kung Fu Panda 3.  Ah, it's just not the same since the SKG crew left to pursue their passion projects, know what I mean?  Now it's a wing of Paramount, which means I gotta order Showtime to see this in three months... something like that.  Yes, nothing like a DreamWorks animation movie to buttress the careers of the fallen.  Mike Myers had the Shrek series, and for Jack Black, the Kung Fu Panda series.  Alas, so far we've only gotten one Yogi Bear movie, so Dan Aykroyd needs something else to do while we all eagerly await the sequel... holy Crap!  It's in the works!  Alas, Aykroyd's plan to turn Nothing but Trouble into a Saturday morning animated series will just have to wait.  A dream deferred is a dream denied, my faithful readers.
Speaking of which, the new Spock's movie The Finest Hours debuts at #4.  Don't people understand?  It's another real-life Titanic-type, Perfect Storm-ish story with lots of good acting with accents!  What do you jaded moviegoers WANT??!!!! ...oh, right.  Meanwhile, J. J. Abrams must not be a happy camper.  I mean, he directed Chris Pine in two Star Trek movies, and he must be like, "Oh... you really want to do this?  You want to go toe to toe with Star Wars, b'atch?  Oh, it's on!  I will CRUSH you!"
And our last debut this week is Fifty Shades of Grey... I mean, BlackFifty Shades of Black.  (hmm!  Where have I seen that poster before?)  Well, my heart's breaking for you, Marlon.  He was everywhere the last couple weeks, promoting the hell out of this movie.  Give it some time, and I think this will become a cult favourite ... unless it's too childish or something.  I think all the filmmakers involved with this knew they had to put a little extra effort into it.  I still can't believe there's going to be a sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey.  Sheesh!  It's apparently going to be called Fifty Shades Darker and James Foley's going to direct, which means that the camera at some point is going to come out from behind something... am I the only one to pick up on that?  I guess so!  Time to make a YouTube compilation... I gotta do everything around here.  Seriously, though, I still think this parody is genius.  You've outdone even the Zuckers on this one, Marlon.  The L.A. Times critic seemed to like it!  Despite all the scatological stuff, there's a heart of innocence in there, which is probably more than can be said for the Grey source material.  Someone's got to take rape culture down a couple pegs these days!

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