Sunday, April 03, 2016

Hollywood's Not Dead

...but this weekend's kinda dull.  As per expectations, Batman vs. Superman hits #1 again, just not as hard, and it'll probably be dethroned by next week... sorry, it's Batman v. Superman.  Now, why in that order, you might ask?  Shouldn't it be Superman v. Batman?  Well, I think, first of all, Superman's comfortable in his Krypton-ness that he can bring up the rear like that, and be in 2nd place.  And 2nd, it's not a direct science, as anything related to the alphabet and words can be.  Trivia questions aren't like numbers after all, are they?  You can put state capitals in a list, but the capitals themselves are a bumpy road compared to the smooth ride of the numbers used to enumerate them.  That's just the way it is.  And take the great pairings: Laurel and Hardy.  Siskel and Ebert.  Jay and Silent Bob.  I mean, Silent Bob and Jay... it just doesn't have the same ring to it.  Jay and Silent Bob barely has a ring to begin with!  Owwch.
Anyway, everything's pretty much as it was last week, except that Miracles from Heaven traded places with Allegiant.  Double owwch.  I wonder how the next installment of The Maze Runner is going to do.  As for the debuts this week, well, the first one is called God's Not Dead 2.  It sounds a bit like Ted 2 from its description, as both culminate in a big day in court.  Personally, the cast of God's Not Dead 2 is sufficiently Hollywood B-list, that if they all went to Hell, no one would notice.  Sorry, original Zedd(e)more, but you made a bad choice... dayamn!  Fred Thompson's in this?  When did he die again? ...okay, not that long ago.  I forget if he made it into this year's Oscar tribute, but I'm sure he got the warm applause he asked for.
Well, sure, so the A.V. Club doesn't like the movie, of course, yet your pastor does.  But no matter which side ultimately triumphs, I'm an old enough fogey to remember the words of a wise man who once quipped the following: if God is dead, and the actor plays his part, his words of fear will find their way to a place in your heart.  Go ahead!  Google it!
The only other debut this week is Meet the Blacks.  And again, Tyler Perry didn't take my advice and take some time off to reflect or genuflect.  You know, like J. Lo did from 2006 to 2010 for some reason.  And, boy!  Is the A.V. Club ever picky!  A C minus?  Why do you gotta hurt a brother like that?  What did Mike Epps ever do to you?  He was in the new Honeymooners reboot!  He's the new Uncle Buck, for God's sake!  Everyone loves that, right?... RIIIIIIGHT?

No comments: