Sunday, January 29, 2017

There Is Much Joy in Shyamalanville.....

For mighty M. Night has hit another home run.  I don't know if it's any good yet, but Split is #1 for a second week in a row.  Prepare to lose your ad space, Variety!  We all may never hear the end of it.  And surely contract negotiations will start again for Season 3 of "Wayward Pines," n'est ce pas?
Oh, but look at me carrying on.  Let's get to the debuts.  Coming in second place this week, which does not bode well for our furry buddies in the animal kingdom, it's Marley and Me... no, wait, that was 2006.... and furthermore, it's an ampersand, not the word "and."  Marley & Me.  Gotta get that sh... stuff right.  No, at #2 this week is Because of Winn-Dixie.  Love that movie.  No, no, that's not right either.  No, at #2 is Benji the Hunted, the best of the Benji movies, as Jay Leno told us way back when.
No, sorry, that's wrong too... is it LassieFar from HomeShilohShiloh 2FlukeMilo and OtisOLD YELLER???!!!!!  The Shaggy DogBeethovenThe Ugly DachshundMarmadukeBeverly Hills ChihuahuaHotel for Dogs"Benji, Zax & The Alien Prince"Air BudRock DogDog Day AfternoonAlpha DogAlpha and Omega?
I might be getting too far a'field here, maybe I should just go back to the original page... A Dog's Purpose!  That's it!  Whew.  Exhausting.  Boy, where's Cujo when you need him?  All I know is, YouTube's going to the dogs... AND cats, I know.  It's raining cats and dogs over there.
Meanwhile, our next debut is Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.  All I know is, we're up to Final Fantasy 15, according to Wikipedia.  Don't you just love those ironic titles?  In this latest installment of the Resident Evil franchise, supermodel Milla Jovovich plays two roles: Alice, and someone named Alicia Marcus, which I'm assuming is if Alice became a mother in an alternate reality.  Can't be an action babe forever, right?  Even John McLane became a father in the Die Hard franchise!
And finally, our last debut this week is Ulee's Gold... I mean, Fool's Gold... I mean The Golden Child... I mean Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold... GoldfingerGoldmemberThe Golden CompassThe Treasure of the Sierra Madre?  That was gold, right?
GoldengirlGoldeneye (1989)GoldenEyeHellboy II: The Golden ArmySt. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's GoldCity Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold"The Goldbergs"?  Clearly I've gone too far afield once again, let me just go back and check... Gold?  That's it?  Just Gold?  Well, to be fair, it IS Matthew McConaughey.  And it looks like Stephen Gaghan put down the nose candy for a while in order to direct this thing, so that should be applauded.  Baby steps, people.  It's all baby steps.  We're all just doin' time here on planet Earth when you get right down to it.

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