Thursday, November 24, 2005

Let The Transformation Continue!

Life imitates art: I think I smell that sequel to Single White Female after all! Oh wait, there is one. Who decides when these things get made, anyway? 2005 will go down in the annals of movie ledger history as a banner year for direct-to-video sequels, now filmed on digital video.

Anyway, yes, I think Ashlee Simpson finally gets it. Tired of being the reigning Queen of Mall Goth, she is now halfway on the path to becoming a clone of Jessica who, with all respect to Nick, will still always be my Ozark Goddess, as will all the current and future readers of Star and Us, with the occasional appearance on the likes of Maxim. Meanwhile, what about Aguilera? She just couldn't get any naked-er on the cover of Rolling Stone and gave up, and gone completely into hiding apparently! Come back to us.

So there Ashlee was on Letterman flogging her new CD, "I Am Me". Well, not as inspiring as, say, "Pieces of April" or "I do not want what I haven't got", and she's probably smarter than "I Am Sam". All she needs now is that pesky nose job and Jessica's got an identical twin! Clooney was on pushing Syriana. Wasn't he just on last month? Anyway, he was a little less Life Is Good this time as he was about Good Night & Good Luck, but as far as I'm concerned, he's still the current Gold Standard of what a movie star should be. Note the hair, for example, as compared to the old clip Dave trotted out. It's probably bad luck to say it, but the Oscar campaign is on, and honestly I can't think of anyone more deserving in any category he nabs. But if GN&GL and Syriana go head-to-head for Best Picture, then like Soderbergh before him, either way he loses. Okay, Mr. Clooney, rest on your laurels a little, but let's get cracking on Hail Caesar, huh?

Okay, some actual movie news. Yours, Mine & Ours is the latest from Dennis Quaid et alia as Quaid's Second Coming continues unabated. Rather than going on to Scooby Doo 3 editor-turned-director Raja Gosnell helms this one, and couldn't've picked a worse time. Not only does he have to compete with Harry Potter that his old boss Chris Columbus started, but he has to compete with Rent as well! Man, even I can't deal with that kind of stress...

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