Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Nice going, guys! Now you've made Dakota Fanning cry!...

I mean, for God's sake! She's got TWO movies opening this week! Coraline and Push! Well, Coraline's the main one, really. They must've spent at least a ton hoisting that thing on an unsuspecting American public. But you know how it is. Mel Gibson's already spent the Jesus money. There's nothing like spending fresh new money. Hopefully Push didn't cost all that much. But Icon Productions already took a page from Happy Madison's playbook and look where it got them! Incidentally, is it out on DVD yet?
--But that's not the only shocker this week. Pink Panther 2 debuts at... what was it? #4? Pathetic. Guess Steve should've hosted SNL the week OF its release, rather than the week before. You know, maybe it's just me, but the more I dwell on it, the more I think that SNL's done more harm than good lo these many 35 years or so. When you look at all the has-beens that show's cranked out: Joe Piscopo, Rob Schneider, Dennis Miller. And furthermore, John Belushi DEAD. Chris Farley DEAD. Didn't the show used to be funny? Didn't the writing used to be kinda smart? They don't even have 1-dimensional bits anymore!
Sorry, folks, I've been feeling a little down lately. Plus, there's a fresh batch of snow I'll get to dig my way out of. So where were we? Despite the massive campaigning this week, the underdog makes it to #1, and it's... What Have you done for me lately? No, I'm sorry, it's called He's Just Not That Into You. I'm telling you, we'll never hear the end of it. I like Dana Carvey's take on it: if you're not into Scarlet Johansson, you're probably gay. I mean, she was assembled at a sex factory, for God's sake! (his words) On the other hand, what's with her hair? Talk about anti-sexy. Talk about an anti-aphrodisiac, what have you. Meanwhile, poor Jennifer Aniston. She thought it was a new episode of Friends. Hard to say if this will help director Ken Kwapis' career. I mean, Joel Zwick did My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and he's not exactly making that pet project about the train wreck in a coal mine that he's had in a drawer for 25 years! He had a chance to make it back in the day but Charlie Sheen had to be in Platoon! Not that they're bitter...
What else worth noting? All in all, a decent week at the box office. America is still smitten by Taken, no surprise there. Each movie had a pretty good haul and... oh no. Now I have to study which movies made more than 10 million dollars! So much to study, so little time.

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