Sunday, December 19, 2010

Hmm! That bear looks vaguely like Dan Aykroyd!

You know, I believe it was the guy who mumbled all the time in The Usual Suspects who first observed that the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world that Caddyshack 2 doesn't exist. I mean, if Caddyshack is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, what is Caddyshack 2 proof of? That life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone? All things in moderation? Dyan Cannon will always be a star?
I'm sorry, I misspelled that: it should be Caddyshack II. But just as Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute once was absent from my mind for a long time, so was Aykroyd's disastrous cameo in said Caddyshack II. Again, I betray my personal preferences to my doom, but really, who else but that Tim Conway of the Great White North, Daniel Radcliffe Aykroyd, could take on the awesome responsibility of voicing the new Yogi Bear? And it worked, didn't it? To the tune of about two to the twenty-fourth power, no less? (Hint: that's a lot.) Second only to Tron: Legacy, of course. But even I, like everyone else these days, am of two minds about everything, and while The Onion gave Yogi Bear a D+ or so (that's bad), I was nevertheless inspired by the words of Mick LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle who pointed out that the right-wing bloggers will be all over Yogi Bear for its liberal agenda, and Bill O'Reilly will no doubt give Yogi Bear the ironically much coveted Pinhead Movie of the Decade Award and tell everyone to protest by showing up to the next shareholder meeting of evil, non-News Corp. media conglomerate TimeWarner. So I say, more power to them! They're just giving the people what the people want, Bill! If it were up to you right wingers, all we'd ever watch is VeggieTales! The market has spoken, my friend, and it says that the VTs are doomed to a lifetime of being shown at 3:30 on Saturday afternoons on NBC. End of story.
Meanwhile, it must be a grim day at the James L. Brooks household. Looks like his 2010's not going to be like his 1983 or, to a lesser extent, his 1997. More bitter, James L., more bitter. Just be like Melvin. That'll get you that next wave of Oscars!
Also chopped liver this week is the last debut, The Fighter. You still got it, Marky Mark, and thank you for helping out David O. Russell. We need more films from that guy!

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