What's Craig Mazin got that these two haven't? I guess he's a Beta Male or lower, because the Zuckers just can't handle the awesomeness of this Dynamic Duo. So young, so prolific, so timely, so scrambling to stay on that bleeding edge of satire that The Onion and The Daily Show does so much better. But there's a timelessness to film, a permanence that only a film buff could respect. Having triumphed with the slim profit margin of Spy Hard, it was time to spoof the Scream juggernaut with the first two Scary Movie pics. But Keenan Ivory had to grow as an artist, didn't he? On to the Zuckers who breathed new life into the series... and AGAIN with Charlie Sheen! He's EVERYWHERE!!! He's the new Kevin Bacon, man! But his name doesn't rhyme with separation, so he's chopped liver. Around the time of Scary Movie 4's diminishing profit margin, it was time for Fried-ber to expand their vision, moving quickly on to other movies to parody, and direct themselves, damn it. Eliminate those pesky high-paid middlemen. But what to parody? How about date movies? No one's ever made fun of those before! Or epics! Thanks to CGI, we can do it on the cheap, just like the actual epics now. Now they're stuck with vampires like everyone else now, including the Hillenbrands. Well, sometimes you just gotta pass on directing Dorm Daze 3.0 for doing that passion project of yours.
What does the bright future hold for Seltz-berg? Who knows. They're in the driver's seat with green lights as far as their eyes can see... how about spoofing Justin Bieber? Or that new Friday song? Ripe targets, indeed.