Sunday, April 17, 2011

Blame it on 'Rio'

Boring DVD cover. They couldn't go with the tawdry 80s poster for the movie. Anyway, never blog and eat at the same time, kids. Big mistake. Seriously, though, at the box office this week, Hollywood super-genius Carlos Saldhana has worked on three Ice Age pics, so it's time to go someplace warmer, spicier. And, surprise surprise, Rio was bourne. Wonder if it's based on a true story, but watered down by Pixar sentimentality conventions still placed on all high-falutin' all-CGI pics like this? No matter; the point is it's a bloomin' success. And I had the chance to get in on the ground floor of that action, too! But as usual, I missed out: I forgot to visit the Rio FarmVille farm this weekend for my special prize.
No, I'm not bitter, just totally jealous. And so must be Kevin Williamson, the John Grisham of the self-aware slasher pic. Oh sure, everybody knows the award-worthy Scream franchise, but for me, it was Teaching Mrs. Tingle that had me at hello. Good title! Alas, the public was only about half as clamoring for Scream 4 as the filmmakers thought. No, it's Pixar-ish babysitters for them, unfortunately. The real victory, of course, was getting recently broken-up David Arquette and former friend with benefits Courtney Cox back together again for one final show. Or did they do Scream 5 simultaneously as well? If they were good, planned ahead and did their due diligence, they did, just like Matrix 2 and 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, and Back to the Future 2 and 3, of course. This is why I should read Variety more.
Those are the only debuts this week. The rest are leftovers. Limitless is hanging in there, which is interesting to me because, in looking at my weekly box office spreadsheet, it's the only film to survive the four week mark this week. The three week films are both gone: Wimpy Kid and Sucker Punch. Something for the ladies, please! Not wimpy kids or wimpy girls with machine guns, they need their Brad Cooper! Sorry, ladies, he's getting back together with Jennifer Aniston. Oh, wait. Brad Cooper, Brad Pitt... more salt in the wound! They broke up again. I can't keep up with all this Hollywood relationship politics. I'm so outta here.

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