Thursday, April 17, 2014

... oh Crap! My taxes!!!!

Heh heh heh..... a bunny that hands out hard-boiled chicken eggs?  Boy, what were the people smoking who came up with that?  And the eggs aren't plain either.  No, they're all painted up like cheap harlots riddled with genital herpes.  No thank you, I say.  And speaking of getting high... the Koch brothers.  (pronounced "Coke")  There was a thing on MSNBC about them, and perhaps you saw it too.  Reminds me of that latest incarnation of The Parable of the Talents.  The master Koch brother summoned the slave Koch brother and entrusted his property to him.  To the slave Koch brother he gave 44 billion talents, each according to his ability.  Then the slave Koch brother went upon his journey.  He had received 44 billion talents, went off right away and put his money to work and gained 44 billion more.  After what seemed like an eternity, the master Koch brother came and settled his accounts.  The slave Koch brother said, 'Sir, you entrusted me with 44 billion talents.  See, I have gained 44 billion more.'  His master answered, 'Evil and lazy slave!  You should have deposited my money with the bankers, and upon my return I would have received my money back with interest.  And seeing as I have no other slave to give these 44 billion talents to, I will take them back myself.  And throw that worthless Koch brother into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'  See, people forget that the Bible is not only the one book most people will ever need for spiritual guidance, it's also the only book most people will ever need for financial guidance as well!  Anyway, the MSNBC story seemed to be saying that the cream of the 1% crop seems to do the most complaining, even though they're making the most money.  And by most money, I mean all the money in the known universe.  No wonder people say we're headed for another big financial crash.
Not Hollywood, of course.  Hollywood will live on forever.  God bless that dream-fueled bubble!  And which film will be the big winner this weekend?... I haven't seen commercials since The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are on vacation, so I don't know.
...boy, I thought I was catty!  One of the headlines is "Johnny Depp Bombs Again."  Yeah, yeah, we know.  Depp's just trying to audition for Christopher Nolan's 2016 pic, that's all.  When Pirates 5 bombs, then we know there's a problem.  But Depp's new movie, Transcendence, did perform poorly, even being beaten out by Heaven is for Real, for God's sake!  Also, God's Not Dead is at #10, so God's got both ends of the box office covered this weekend.  The only other debut this week is the sequel to A Haunted House called A Haunted House 2.  Now there's some rare bravery.  Sequel numbers are slowly making a comeback!  Take Rio 2, for example.  And the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man 2. (Spider Man 5?)  Most else are ashamed of the numbers, like the Twilight series or the Harry Potter series or Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  It's already spring!  Duh!! Der!!!


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The Movie Hooligan said...

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