Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Spiders, Rhinos, and glowing Jamie Foxx! Oh my!

Well, the big story this week... okay, second to Donald Sterling, is that Rutgers students protested the pending commencement speech of former Secretary of State and unconvicted war criminal Condoleezza Rice.  Apparently, Rutgers' board of governors, starstruck as they are, were going to pay Rice $35,000 for her appearance.  Here's my problem... only $35,000?  What kind of insult is this?  If I were Rice, I'd be indignant and play the race card.  Same old story.  Rice drops out, Snooki goes in and gets $70,000.  Say what you will about Snooki, at least she's not a war criminal... yet.  You'd be surprised what people will do to increase sales of their latest book.
But even though he caved to public pressure, I think Rutgers president Robert Barchi should stand by his principles, and at least give the embattled and embittered Condoleezza something.  Who's going to miss a few thousand dollars?  Embezzle some funds for Condoleezza somehow.  The girl's gotta eat, am I right?  Or maybe set up an account for her at Tiffany's!  Something!  Anything!  Be a man of principle, Barchi!
Anyway, the big news is that the critics are attacking Spider Man 5 already.  Boy!  There's just no pleasing some people.  I think it's because the Spider Man franchise used to have something.  Specifically, director Sam Raimi.  He brought panache to it... at least, til the third installment.  Sure, he has trouble ending trilogies, but no more than most directors.  Raimi brought more critical acclaim to a Marvel franchise than any other director so far... or is that too much of a generalization?  I just can't get into all this worship of Joss Whedon, even though he's made a lot of money.
And Spider-Man himself kinda lost me when he started playing with lasers.  Or is that what underdogs do now?  Anyway, as expected, Spidey positively CRUSHES the competition.  Okay, no one's talking about how much money per hour it's raking in, but still!  Also, I saw on Facebook that May 4th is now Star Wars day, but they still have to compete with the Spider Man franchise which has traditionally been released the first week of May.
So not only is the competition crushed, Spidey is the only debut this week.  So let's take a short look back.  Heaven is for Real stays at #3 for the third week in a row.  It's kinda creepy!  The one the mortals call Oculus is gone, but it may have turned a profit, even after only two weeks in the Top 10.  God's Not Dead and The Grand Budapset Hotel got resurrected, getting sucked back into the Top 10.  See, that's how big a hit Spider Man 2 is!  It created this weird vacuum where no new debuts can get in, but some of the old fogeys still in theaters do!  I'm freakin' out.  Some lucky employable so-and-so is going to do their Ph.D. thesis about that.

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