Mission Impossikible

Welp, here it is, folks.  Popeye has officially entered the matrix.  This is truly the greatest philosophical dilemma Popeye has ever had to face.  I hate to spoil it too much, but those who have also seen Hello, How am I? know exactly what I'm talking about, and it ain't diamonds on the soles of my shoes.  Not that that's not a classic in its own way.
Anyway, before people were tearing realistic masks off their faces, like at the beginning of From Russia with Love (spoiler alert), we have Wimpy putting on an apparently very convincing Popeye mask, and wearing a super girdle to mask his massive belly.  And why?  All for a hamburger dinner that Olive's preparing.  That's what Olive gets for straying from Popeye's diet.  Now, some may feel sorry for Popeye, and I do... but the older I get, the more I see both sides of everything, just like Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face in Batman Forever.  Boy, is that the wrong title or what?  Anyway, that's what Popeye gets for not inviting Wimpy to a hamburger dinner!... oh, I don't know.  Maybe Popeye's just trying to keep Wimpy alive a few more years.  I mean, I'm sure Popeye likes to share the wealth as much as the next sailor, but he also knows what an absolute pig Wimpy is.  He'll be on his tenth hamburger before anyone else gets to their first.
But that's what I'm getting at!  It's this kind of philosophical dilemma that's got Popeye all tied up in knots, and he's not loving it lots and lots!  But Wimpy as Fake Popeye is quite the ladies man, as he's able to turn Olive against the real Popeye.  It's probably for the best that Olive never find out.  Hell hath no fury, so I've heard... and if that's not an invite to the angry feminists out there, I don't know what is!
To cut to the chase, Wimpy is unmasked and runs off into the horizon, as we can see through another gaping hole in the wall!  What is it about cartoons and that vantage point?  I hate to say it, but it was awfully easy for the real Popeye to beat up a fake one.  One punch?  Where's the Fist Tornado?  Where's the twisker punch?  Oh well.  It'll just have to do.  Anyway, after Popeye's ultimate identity crisis, he is practically required to sing the ending theme that's fallen out of popularity lately.  Depending on your point of view, it's either got the funniest lyrics or the laziest.  Today, I can't help but think laziest, and as usual, the grammar's all shot to hell, I tells ya.  This is another one of those Popeye cartoons with commentary, so it must be a good one... despite the lack of 3D background.  The Fleischers seem to have given up on that or something.

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-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan