Thursday, April 24, 2014

Heaven on Earth

Crap!!! My taxes... oh, right.  Still waiting for my refund, guys!  Anyway, every once in a long while, you push and push and push, and the occasional chick flick breaks through the ceaseless shuffle of superhero pics.  In this case, it's a film called The Other Guys... no, wait, that was Will Ferrell's 2010 project.  It's a film called The Others... no, that was that 2001 film from the guy who made the film that inspired Vanilla Sky.  His sophomore slump, if you will.  No, it's called The Other Boleyn Girl... no, wait, that was that thing with ScarJo and NatPo.  It's called The Other Sister... no, wait, that was that thing about the retar... The Lives of Others?  Love & Other Drugs?  The Other (1972)?  The Other (1999)?  The Other (2007) ?  Damn it!  Okay, I got it this time.  It's definitely called The Other Woman... no, wait, that's a film from 2009.  Ooh!  NatPo again!  Man, I'm exhausted now.  Let's just say Spring 2014 Untitled Kate Upton Project, as the IMDb will occasionally refer to a film whose title is yet to be determined.  Standout titles are kinda hard to come by.  And you know, with all the attention paid to the stars, I didn't even concern myself with the producers (probably Judd Apatow, esp. if Leslie Mann's involved), writers or directors!  ...Nick Cassavetes?  Neat-o!  Well, the 1990s were kinda hard on him, as well as the 2000s, especially after he unleashed novelist Nick Fury upon an unsuspecting world... I mean, Nicholas Sparks.  I know I should like Nicholas Sparks, and that not liking Nicholas Sparks makes me a bad person, but something in me is making me resist.  I think it's my immortal soul.  Also, he gave Miley Cyrus some movie work.  That's much worse.
Speaking of afterlife-related things, Paul Walker lives on past his premature passing with Luc Besson's latest random thought for the American market written on a Post-It Note for Robert Mark Kamen to turn into a movie.  It's called Brick Mansions, quite the opposite of The Glass House.  In fact, they've got a whole floor dedicated to throwing stones!  You know, to keep your reflexes sharp, like Mel Gibson in that Braveheart flick... okay, bad example.  Let's move on, and not start a new paragraph.  The only other debut this week is the Western flick The Quiet Ones about Richard Nixon coming up with the phrase "The Silent Majority"... no, wait, that can't be right.  Actually, it's the latest script from fresh-faced auteur Oren Moverman!  Well, no harm in paying a few bills.  Plus, he's branching out and not working with Woody Harrelson all the time.  I just hope Woody's okay with that.  Besides, doesn't he have True Detective to do?
In other heaven-box office-related news, God's Not Dead is below #10, but Heaven is for Real holds steady at #3.  IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!

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