Wednesday, October 01, 2014

The Year of the Rosamund

Sorry, once again I'm not up on what's going to be hot this weekend, but as some of you might know, I'm just a sucker for all news that is Sandler.  No, not Bill Sadler, but he's quite good too, even though he and Frank Darabont are on the outs.  But really, who wouldn't get tired of living in Jeffrey DeMunn's shadow?  (Burn After Reading is not one of his IMDb Top 4?  Too bad... but it will be someday, I can feel it)  No, I'm talking about this generation's Jerry Lewis, Mr. Lunch Lady Land, Mr. Operaman, Rob Schneider's Best Friend in the Whole Wide World... Adam Sandler.  I've just been handed a bulletin from that Sandler is going to do four films for Netflix.  Now either this means that Sony owns Netflix, and I sincerely hope it does, because, you know, who cares about the Sherman Anti-Trust Act anymore except middle school history students.  Surely it doesn't mean that Sandler's films have flopped too much lately?  I mean, this isn't like Mel Gibson going directly to video with Get Him to the Greek, is it?... I mean, Get the Gringo?  Here's my question, and sorry, it seems I always have one... only four?  Really?  Seriously?  Why do I get the feeling that the saga of Bucky Larson isn't going to be continued?  Surely there's more to that story?  Anyway, let's move on.  It's bad luck even blogging about that.  But here's my idea: go back to fundamentals... maybe not all the way back to Going Overboard fundamentals, but definitely to Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore.  Don't be too proud to poke fun at Happy Madison Productions.  How about a Netflix Original Series: Billy Madison Meets Happy Gilmore.  It writes itself!  One day, Billy makes the mistake of having his kickball tournament at a local park, and Happy stumbles onto the proceedings (get Dean Cundey's understudy to do the effects, of course).  Happy and Billy reluctantly shake hands, then form an alliance to team up against the biggest O'Doyle of them all... Secretary of State Happy O'Doyle, who fought with Happy from Kindergarten all the way through the first couple years of college.  "I'M THE ONLY HAPPY!  GOT THAT, DOUCHEBREATH?" said O'Doyle on a rather regular basis.  And into the school fountain would go poor old Adam Sandler.  Maybe you could get Paul Thomas Anderson to direct it!  I know, I know, he insists on writing his own material, but who knows?  Maybe you or an agent of Happy Madison could wear him down with a campaign of niceness.
...oh, right.  The box office.  Well, Gone Girl made it to #1, go figure.  Now Fincher can get back to directing House of Cards... if he so chooses.  He might not.  Meanwhile, the latest incarnation of Chucky is at #2, and it's called Annabelle.  Finally, the other debut is the Left Behind reboot.  I guess it would have played better if it were released around, say, 1999 or so.  You know, when audiences were more prepared to accept the concept of millennial doom... don't ask me why.  And sure, critics are bashing it on both sides of the religious and political divide, but there's one thing they can all agree on... they don't miss Kirk Cameron!  Owwch......

No comments: