Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Short Reviews - October 2014

One Chance - ...Frankel?  Oh, puh-leeeeze.  But I guess that last film with Steve Martin and Jack Black was such a huge bomb that he was forced to take to the Internets to plug his latest.

Seven Chances - ...confusing title.  If it were made today, they'd have to call it Fool Running from Boulders... if only in China.

A Walk on the Moon - Meant to see it.

A Perfect Man - Who's the Walker Jerome NOW, bitch?... ah, close enough.

Paparazzi (2009) - I don't care how short it is.  There's only ONE Paparazzi, damn it!

Paparazzi (2004) - No, not that one.  THIS ONE!!!!!

Lord Love a Duck - ...I thought it was in color!  I must've dreamed it or something.

Arabesque - Sophia Loren's voice dubbed in?

More Than a Miracle - More than a miracle to me... is Sophia Loren's voice dubbed in?

The Last Song - This just in... Nicholas Sparks busy writing the sequel called The Last Twerk

Far From the Madding Crowd - I dunno... this is why I'm no movie hero.  Because if I were a sheepherder, or a shepherd, and my dog just pushed all the sheep off of the cliff... I'd probably have to shoot that dog.  I mean, the gun's right there, for one!... sorry, I was in and out of the room.  Apparently, Alan Bates did eventually shoot the dog, just not that instant, which is when I would of shot the dog... was demonic possession all the rage when this movie was made?  You know, because of The Omen (1976)?

Tanned Legs - Another classic on TCM, but something tells me that Robert Osborne's not going to talk about it when it's over.....................................

The Amityville Horror (1979) - With Murray Hamilton outdoing his role in Jaws as Pooh-Pooher in Chief.  Onward Mediocre Christian Managers!

The Libertine - Every so often in a career, an actor makes a film that serves as a litmus test for his or her fan base.  In the case of Johnny Depp, he uses The Libertine to divide his fans between those who want to see him in a classy period piece, and those who aren't really fans and just want to see him horribly disfigured, even if just in a movie... I'm in the first category, J.D., I swear!

God's Pocket - Good triple bill with The Fighter and Killing Them Softly... quadruple bill with Out of the Furnace

Men, Women & Children - Yup, that's the target audience, all right!... ADAM SANDLER?!!!!!  Ah yes.  Well, it's been about a decade since Punch Drunk Love and his first serious attempt to get an Oscar.  And since Sid Ganis let him down, why not follow the lead of the son of the guy who directed Legal Eagles?  He's... Oscar-ish, right?  I mean, it was either him or Jane Campion, and that ain't gonna happen.

Hail, Caesar! - I got my ticket!!!!

Dumb and Dumber To - Will McAvoy must be spinning in his grave

Birdman (or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) - Why, that's what Fox News has been saying for years!  I'm assuming Megyn Kelly plays the Birdman

Dear White People - Just got the Colbert Bump!  Well, the sentiment starts out sweetly enough.....................

Come Morning - For those of you who think Arkansas has no night life, well... I submit this film for your approval!!

Invisible Ghost - This is, like, the stupidest title ever.  I mean, ghosts are already invisible!  Der!  How can something already invisible be even more invisible?

Memoirs of an Invisible Man - Ouch.

My Own Love Song - Oops!  I thought that was Sissy Spacek on the poster.

The Long Walk Home - Maybe this is what I was thinking of

No comments: