Awright! Now that I sat through the FBI warning, and that whole thing about the droits of international artists and what not, I finally
get to put Volume One of the Looney Tunes away and start right in on
Volume Two. First up, another elastic Robert Clampett masterpiece, one
of his last, if not the last, I think :(... and it's called The Big Snooze. Oh, it's too hot for TV, I tells ya.
ACT I
So
far I didn't get to hear all of veteran animator Bill Melendez's DVD
commentary... it was a fun time working at the ol' Termite Terrace, from
what I gather. Lucky guy. Lots of pranks, like at George Clooney's
Italian villa there on Lake Como; the constant struggle to make the
cartoons wild enough. Damn Hays Code.
Okay, so we don't always get terribly specific details about the given cartoon. But this much I do know... or at least, I think I do. This was one of the last cartoons that Bob Clampett did for Warners. The war was over, and there was this new medium called "television" that seemed like an exciting new thing to be a part of. The future! A cinema in the home. Why, there'd never be a need to go out for anything ever, ever again! Well... maybe just groceries. Non-milk groceries. Or how about eggs? I mean, besides what we would get from the chickens in the backyard.
And so, it is within this context that we find Mr. Fudd chasing Bugs once again, firing his shotgun to the music. ("William Tell") And then, the action comes to the old hollowed-out log. You know, right there on the edge of the canyon. You'd think a healthy fear of heights would inform the thinking of cartoon characters, but no. It always seems to come as a surprise to them! Why is that, exactly? Not quite in the purview of the Laws of Cartoon Physics, I'm afraid, nor the Statutes (Kansas Annotated) and Guidelines on Cartoon Pre-meditation.
But, as usual, Fudd finds himself following wherever Bugs seems to be taking him. Fortunately for human hunters chasing pesky wabbits, either for sport or for the purposes of curbing the growth of invasive species, ... what was I gonna... oh, wight. Real wabbits aren't that bright. Although, I'm telling you... those two rabbits I saw one day, I swear it's like the one rabbit was seriously trying to chase the second rabbit out into oncoming traffic. If only there were a busier street, it might've been a success. Anyway, Bugs gets Elmer to run through this hollow log... and pretty quickly at that. Hmm! Seems like he'd have to crawl through on his hands and knees, but the log's pretty big. And so, Bugs pushes the end of the log so that Elmer runs right off the cliff... almost. God bless the Laws of Cartoon Physics, even though I should be rooting for Bugs. And, of course, the Wikipedia example is just a rough guideline. Elmer's situation is but another snowflake in the snow storm of cartoon cinema history. Also, Wikipedia's a more elegant solution than the expensive lawsofcartoonphysics.com website that was big in the late '90s early 2000s. What did we do indeed before the term 'viral' went viral, now thought of practically exclusively as a serious (mind / brain) infection by an internet meme?
Not to be fooled so easily, having turned into a giant cartoon lollipop twice now, Elmer makes absolutely sure that there's solid ground to walk out of that log onto... sort of. He gives it the ol' tap with the hand test. Yup; there's solid ground there. But just before Elmer's able to emerge from the log, Bugs gives the log an extra quick push halfway off the cliff, and... yup, Elmer's making an extra confident run further and further out over the cliff's edge than he ever had before. Ever had a day like that? Yeah, me too. Anyway, once again, the elasticity of the Laws of Cartoon Physics is on display, because Elmer is nauseatingly aware of his dire situation in the face of impending gravity. And yet...
ACT II
If there's one thing that Robert Clampett likes, in addition to extremely groundbreaking, extra-liquid animation, it's the wild, wild plot. And the breaking of the Fourth Wall... for those of you who don't know, the Fourth Wall is when a character in the movie talks directly to the audience. Like Ferris Bueller or Sam Elliot in Lebowski. And so, rather than plummet to an easy death, Elmer Fudd stands up and fights, bemoaning his shabby treatment at the hands of Bugs and the city fathers of Warner Bros. But Elmer's a smart boy, and he knows that he has a contract with "Mr. Warner." Elmer pulls out a notarized piece of paper from his jacket pocket. Why... that must be it!
Next scene: if you watched this cartoon a long time ago on old VHS tapes, here's where the rewinding starts. I mean, talk about creative editing! Now Clampett's edits are getting elastic and experimental! Inspired by the French New Wave... oh, wait, that wouldn't be for another 20 years. Anyway, Fudd starts tearing up his contract into little itty bitty pieces. The only conventional part of the sequence is his words... ah. I'm thinking about them right now. He says "Well, DIS for my contwact! Ehhhh! And DAT for my contwact.." Don't even need to watch it again. Meanwhile, you can see the distress on Bugs' face. This is an existential threat he's never faced before, and he's taking it deadly seriously. As serious as a New York heart attack. Bugs begs and pleads with Elmer, but this was a long time coming, some say it was too long. Elmer says "I'm going fishing... and NO MORE WABBITS!" Next scene: a close-up of Bugs' shocked face.
Next scene: with chin up, as high as a Republican politician, Elmer begins his slow exit march, Stage Left. Arguably, Elmer's eyelashes seem more feminine than usual... anyway, Bugs continues his begging and pleading, on his strangely-human rabbit knees, no less. Of course, no matter how dramatic the scene, Clampett always likes to throw in a hint of nudity... take the end of the first episode of A Corny Concerto, for just one bawdy example. Or that Masked Marauder one... sheesh!!! Fig leaf to the max!
I dare say I don't even have to watch it again! I don't want to disturb the house guest, anywho. Also, my PC video player is in the middle of another "critical" download, so it looks like I'll have to wait anyway... okay, back in business. Next scene: lakeside, where Elmer's got his fishing gear, as predicted earlier, but he's a multi-tasker, with a nice daytime nap as the primary task. "And NO MORE WABBITS!" he reiterates before falling into a deep sleep.
Naturally, no sooner does he make his anti-wabbit declawation, when... one slide whistle later, out pops Bugs from Elmer's a'picanick basket! And then, again, more extra-fast editing. I wonder what the theatre patrons thought at the time when they saw this one. Did the editing induce headaches in the tiddly winkies in the audience? We switch from Bugs' close-up to a long shot of Elmer sleeping away, and Bugs is, well... I mean, let's face it. Bugs is openly mocking the sleeping Elmer! Bugs is a bully! Shame on those who are Bully for Bugs. Bugs starts singing "Beautiful Dreamer," on top of everything else. To Elmer's credit, his sleeping is not disturbed by Bugs... until what happens next, of course. And if you're on Elmer's side of this equation, well... you might want to change the channel at this point. It's going to get worse before it gets better.
And for those of you who have ever seen The Big Snooze on the cable TV... and I'm pretty sure cable TV is the only place you'll see this broadcasted these days, if at all... you'll probably notice that the DVD contains a little extra footage you might not have seen before. In fact, the broadcast version might do a quick video fade after Bugs quickly and cheerfully says, after observing the fluffy thought bubble of Elmer dreaming of a log getting sawed, "Hey! I better look into this!" There'll be a video fade, then a quick fade-in on Bugs asleep in his own right. Welp, the part you missed was, um... it's probably described somewhere else on the internet. But as you can see from the photo I've attached... by the way, is that you in this group photo? Tee hee hee! The oldest trick in the NSA playbook... Bugs takes something from a bottle. It seemed to be a rather empty bottle; there was just one of the items in question left, from the sound of the shaking. Bugs ingests the item, then seems to practically defy (cartoon) gravity as he eventually falls asleep.. then again, so does Bugs' pill bottle. Maybe the sequence was actually supposed to be a slow-motion affair?
Bugs is in a singing mood in this celluloid affair and, now that he's sound asleep, starts singing that old Looney Tunes standby, "Someone's rocking my Dream Boat." Incidentally, good double bill with Gorilla My Dreams... ugh. Not looking forward to that one for some reason. More choppy editing after Bugs sings "Peaceful and calm," and we go right into some of Bugs' dialogue. The music seems to stay on track, so it's just another case of experimental timing in the editing that this affair represents. Well, if Clampett was indeed out the door of Termite Terrace after this one, I guess something was bound to give!
Now, where Popeye was having a more conventional dream in Wotta Nitemare, Bugs has here achieved lucidity in Elmer's dream, and if you're hipper than I am, Bugs has gone the full Dreamscape. In full Smart-Ass mode, Bugs breaks the Fourth Wall some more and notes to the assembled audience that yes, Elmer is having a pleasant dream! Totally boring, too. What Elmer's dream needs is a little chaos. But Bugs is nothing if not a Southern gentleman and, after tapping a pink cloud... seriously, it's got the word "Pink" on it, if only for the color-blind in the audience... proceeds to make Elmer's dream a little more colorful with a big bucket of Acme brand Nightmare Paint. As usual, Carl Stalling's orchestra has more fun in a Clampett cartoon. Elmer briefly reappears as a naked, pixie-version of himself, then disappears in a Shining-esque wave of Acme brand Nightmare Paint(TM) (C) (R).
Next scene: now the psychological torture really begins in earnest. "The rabbits are coming, hooray hooray!" sings Bugs over and over again, as dream Elmer gets trampled over and over by mere outlines of rabbits: red with regular-sized ears, and yellow with ears as tall as Bugs himself. I think it's time to go to the Closed Captioning on this one, for what Elmer says next.
Naturally, the Closed Captioning can't capture the true, full charm of Elmer and his unique speech impediment. And of course, I would be almost completely derelict in my duty if I at all failed to mention that, just after Bugs begins to turn Elmer's blissfully ignorant suburban dream into a chaotic off-off Broadway nightmare, there's a brief shot of Elmer asleep under the tree, and he begins to twitch. If there's another Clampett moment that's as classic as this one, that really sums up the pinnacle of what Bob Clampett eventually came to realize and achieve as an artist, I can't think of it.
Anyway, as you can see from the Closed Captioning, despite the relatively small number of "rabbits" in comparison to what is claimed, Elmer says... nay, exclaims "Ziwwions and triwwions of Wabbits!!!!" Kinda didn't sound like it to me, but who am I to question the genius? (insert reference to Trump inauguration here) In all his agony, Elmer wonders aloud where this giant swarm of wabbits could be coming fwom... from, pardon me. Bugs is at Stage Right, and provides the answer... I wouldn't dream of ruining the surprise... the lewd, groan-inducing surprise. Elmer bursts into tears and... holy crap! Is that Elmer's naked ass?
Next scene: more experimental editing, I tells ya! Bugs is so in charge of Elmer's dream, we don't even dwell on Elmer's crying for the usual amount of time. Instead, we cut to Bugs grabbing an oversized book entitled "A Thousand and One Arabian Nightmares." You know, to get some inspiration for his next bit of messing with Mr. Fudd's head. Frankly, there's a good lesson there for all of us. Reading: because you just never know where you'll find your next good idea for torture! I guess "The Prince" by you know who might have been too obvious a choice. Anyway, for those of you who are fans of torture, I have two points. One, you will probably be disappointed because a certain Richard Bruce Cheney hasn't enjoyed a wave of good publicity in the Trump era yet, and he never will, and two, if you find yourself disappointed at Bugs Bunny for what he does to Elmer next, well... I don't know what to tell you. I mean, if you find yourself thinking, "THAT'S too gruesome?", that's perfectly understandable. I react that way myself from time to time. And sure, if you think Bugs is being too soft on Elmer, I'm with you. But if you're thinking to yourself, "I looked up to you, Bugs! Gimme something to WORK with here!", well... clearly you liked Bugs for the wrong reasons.
And so, I will skip over Elmer's cruel (dream) treatment at the hands and paws of Bugs, and move right along to his next self-realization. Because, you see, even Elmer seems a little bit disappointed by Bugs' prank, in a way, once the indignity of it all passed, combined with the sheer, eye-widening horror. See, Elmer's on a dream railroad track, but unlike Inception, which was on AMC this very night, Elmer's not tied to the tracks, but he's covered in so much dream rope that he looks like a giant spool of the stuff. His fear turns to anger, and he's able to free himself from his state of bondage. He doesn't achieve complete lucidity, just enough to get pissed off at Bugs. Real pissed off. Enough to almost turn into a human-like car... or a car-like human? His limbs spin as fast as wheels, and he makes that trademark jet noise that always seems to be in these here Warners animated affairs.
Next scene: more deviltry courtesy of Bugs and Elmer. Elmer's chasing Bugs, and Elmer's got the angry look on his face, but... I dunno. Seems more like ballet anger to me. I'm certainly no ballet connoisseur, and I haven't seen Black Swan or anything... so really, I'm probably the wrong person to speak to the subject. But there are heroes and villains in some ballet, no? Anyway, this is but a short sequence. Why, I failed to comment on the ballet at the beginning of this very affair, set to the tune of William Tell, no less! You know, Bugs' hops being extra exaggerated, Elmer firing to the music and what not...
Next scene: Bugs finds a hole in the ground to dive into. There's another one right next to it, and Elmer, ever the Sheeple, the slave to Bugs' actions, tries to dive into it in turn, but Bugs yanks it out of the way... let's take a second here to contemplate the nature of dreams, and the nature of cartoons, or celluloid dreams projected (traditionally at 24 fps) onto a giant silver screen. Leave us try to take leave of thoughts of Fred Fredburger for a second... damn. I was doing so well for so long, too. Now, when you think of cartoons, you probably think that Bugs' move here is the kind of thing you see in cartoons all the time. And you'd be right!... but the only ones I can think of is Screwy Squirrel. For example, in Screwball Squirrel, the very first Screwy Squirrel cartoon, Screwy dives into a hole in a tree. The dumb dog tries to follow suit, but Screwy pulls the tree hole up, thereby causing the dog to hit his head on the tree, leaving a head-shaped dent in the tree. They pause for the laugh, then continue on their merry way. A similar thing happens in Lonesome Lenny but... for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was!
I guess I'm trying to say it doesn't happen that much. Okay, confession time. Elmer hits the ground like a gong, then slowly wilts to Earth... Elmer gets there before his, um... bathing suit does. Bugs asks the passed-out Elmer, "Eh... what's cookin', Doc?" I confess: I had to watch that part a second time on VHS... you know, check and see if the Hays Code missed anything. However, they clearly missed the part where Elmer gets back up again. I'd post a still of it, but...
Okay, let's move on.
ACT III
We're probably overdue for an Act break as it is. Now, arguably, this cartoon has the same Three Act structure that Hare Ribbin' has. It's almost like how the 50 states of the USA are divided up: mostly along geographic lines. Well, Act Two is probably where the action moves underwater and... no, wait, that's Hare Ribbin' again. Anyway, Act Three should probably be when Elmer wakes up... sorry, spoiler alert. Meantime, Elmer comes to, gets an eyeful of Bugs, and gets mad again. However, Elmer gets mad as he did before, when he unraveled himself at the railroad tracks. Now, here's another anomaly that may have never happened before and may never happen again in a cartoon, possibly ever. I'm not sure what you'd call the noise that Elmer makes, but here's how Bugs interprets it. Bugs says "What's the matter, doc? You cold? I'll fix that." Hard to say if Elmer would agree with that logic in hindsight, but he's as trapped as a deer in headlights, and Bugs has his way with Elmer. Bugs dolls up Elmer like a smoking hot brunette, complete with wig, green dress and lipstick. Feminists will probably not appreciate how Bugs puts the lipstick on Elmer... which, in a way, must make me a bit of a Feminist. Anyway, let's move quickly on to the next outrage. Elmer tries to find comfort from the audience and stares at the Fourth Wall in vain, while Bugs lifts the curtain on the background. The new background shows a group of wolves... the only difference is, these wolves are in what could be liberally described as suits of the zoot variety, and they're standing at the corner of Hollywood and Vine, if the sign is to be believed. They're Hollywood wolves! And when Hollywood wolves howl, they say "How OOOOOOOOOOLD is she?" The Closed Captioning somehow failed to mention that. If memory serves, even that was too hot for broadcast TV the last time I saw this on it, getting trimmed ever so slightly. I believe the "is she" got trimmed to protect the freakin' ears of the Puritan.
And so, two of the wolves bounce around, while the third tries to chat up the new Elmer woman character. Soon, however, Elmer makes his/her escape, with the wolves in close pursuit. After a quick aside to the audience, Elmer makes his/her way to the wheat field. The wolves follow Elmer into said wheat fields, and we can only see their hats as they run through the grains. Next scene: more quick cutting. Womanly Elmer and Bugs are at the other end of the wheat field. Elmer's looking to see if (s)he can see the wolves. Bugs, however, seems kinda helpful at this moment, telling She Elmer "Quick! Run THIS way!" Bugs' run, however, is terribly complicated, but it's accompanied by strangely rustic music, a variation on "Turkey in the Straw" if I know my music at all. Elmer sees Bugs' run the one time, and nails it! And so, for the third iteration, there's Bugs and Elmer, doing Bugs' idiotic run away from the chasing wolves. For you audiophiles out there, I agree. The final "Hey!" before the next scene at the whimsical cliff is the best one.
Next scene: Bugs and Elmer find themselves at the edge of a cliff that's so ga... sorry. I really oughta cut back on that. It's an unusual cliff, let's put it that way. Bugs quickly dives off it, as does Elmer. Next scene: falling, falling... falling forever. Much like at the end of The Heckling Hare... in fact, I dare say there's a couple sequences that rather closely copy the animation used in The Heckling Hare! If I had a gang of interns working for me, why, I'd clap my hands and make it so! A YouTube "educational" comparison video, that is. Strictly educational, mind you, just trying to spread the Gospel according to the Tunes that are Looney, the Melodies that are Merrie and what not.
And once again, we find Elmer crying, unedited this time, with Bugs singing all the while, as they both plummet to Dream Earth. Bugs sings an appropriate song for the occasion, of course: that one that goes "The Leaves of Brown came a'Tumbling Down." Remember? Admit it... if it weren't for these Looney Tunes, you probably wouldn't know a lot of them old songs!
I've slowly realized that characters tend to cry to the music in a Bob Clampett joint. Take the end of Baby Bottleneck, for instance, when the Daffy / Porky hybrid finds its way to a mother gorilla, if memory serves. Elmer's not crying to the music here, but he does ask Bugs, in a rather Broadway-esque way, "What'll we DO, Mr. Wabbit? What'll we DOOOO?????" Remember kids, repetition is the key to getting those lines to stick in the craw of the memory. As our Russian friends say, repetition is the mother of learning... or whatever Putin says it is, something like that.
And so, much like the similar scene with Bugs and Mickey Mouse in 1988's Who Framed Roger Rabbit, so too here does Bugs help himself, and lets she-Elmer continue the long plummet to the ground. "Ain't I a stinkah?" confides Bugs to the audience. I'm just too disgusted with myself to describe the groaner, the bad pun that was Bugs' saving grace in this moment. However, I would like to acknowledge the ... the play on "Reveille" that Bugs does with just his voice when he unveils the Bugs-only helpful solution to their gravity-based dilemmma. We usually ... lol. The last time we heard that was in that one with the early non-Freberg version of Marvin the Martian and his strangely-human-Mel Blanc-soundin' trumpet... which one was that? Rocket Rabbit? The Rabbit-teer? Too lazy to get up out of chair...
EPILOGUE
Back to sleeping Elmer under the elm tree, with the dream thought bubble over his head. We see Dream She-Elmer falling in said thought bubble, landing on real-life Elmer, and not crushing him. Elmer wiggles around, wakes up and, glassy-eyed as hell, says "Oh! Wotta howwible nightmawe!" to the audience. Animation snobs will like this, because of the extra layer that is Elmer's mouth... OH MY GOD! Clampett created Hanna Barbera's TV work! Well, a good cost-cutting measure is sometimes a good idea. Whole animation studios have been based on much less.
And speaking of cost-cutting measures, Elmer runs from the countryside back to the movie set where the beginning of this affair was being, um... "filmed." Note how said countryside looks like the similar scene from Clampett's earlier effort, The Great Piggy Bank Robbery, except with Daffy doing the running through the extremely hilly countryside instead of Elmer. Who says these guys aren't flexible? WHO?
Now, here's a tiny detail I never cared about before. I call it tiny, but it probably represents a couple days work on behalf of the in-betweeners and etc. Next scene: back at the hollow log, and Bugs is still there, but he seems a little happier now, now that Elmer's come crawling (quickly) back. Man, but Bugs was depressed before, on his knees and weeping and what not. Elmer returns and re-assembles his shredded contract. BUT BEFORE HE DOES... he seems to spin around about three times, not unlike a dog chasing its own tail. Well, I was younger at the time when I first habitually watched this cartoon so much, and I guess I had harder feelings towards Elmer; you know, what with him being Bugs' nemesis and all... now I realize they've both ganged up upon me. DAMN YOU BOTH!!!
Now, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out more cost-cutting, but with a twist. It's kind of a rare positive example of cost-cutting. Now, the whole time that Elmer puts his contwact back together, then tries to make nice with "Mr. Warner," take a look at Bugs... you probably weren't, were you? Well, neither was I. But that's a movie star for you. You occasionally hear that about movie stars, right? You just can't take your eyes off them, no matter even if they've suffered a rather convenient head injury yet are still able to sautée vegetables. Anyway, take a look at Bugs while all this Elmer business is going on. Doesn't move! Now, had I noticed this as a younger man, I definitely would've been perturbed by it... maybe not to the very core of my being, but still. But now that I'm older and greyer,... grayer?... I see the secret genius of it.
And so, they pick up the scene where they left off. Elmer runs through the log off the cliff, and Bugs gets the last word. Typical. I just hate people that always get the last word... except Lawrence O'Donnell. The ending of The Big Snooze is kinda similar to the ending of The Great Piggy Bank Robbery... as well as the dramatic structure! Both mostly a dream sequence, both completely insane... and what's the deal with Bugs' hand gesture? I'll let the historians grapple with that one. You know, people who actually know stuff. As for me, well... The Big Snooze is another Clampett classic, but a little bittersweet, on account of it being the last one and all. I'll probably stick with the more zany ones.
Ooh! Final observation: I finally listened to all of Melendez's DVD commentary. Mind you, it's not ALL positive. He did mention something about the different style of Chuck Jones, and I think he rather specifically used the word "effete" and something about Chuck being too "precious" with his animation. I couldn't agree more, but Chuck and Clampett are both still the greatest of the Looney Tunes Merrie Melodies directors.
****
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Auteur Watch - Sticky Fingaz
We may never know the origin story of Sticky Fingaz's nickname, how he got it and what not. But, judging from his online résumé here on the IMDb, I'd say it's because he's got his hands in many different Hollywood pies. Whether he's a writer, producer, editor, caterer... oh, he's a bonafide n-tuple threat all right, as either a freshman computer science major or a beginning master mathematician on the long journey up that staircase of genius would surely note.
But when you're doing your research on the fly like me (gulp), you can't help but notice that this guy started out as some sort of rap master, a master of rap and what not. And like most or all rappers, as it turns out, they really want to act. For what is rapping if not a type of acting? Is not even Shakespeare's Othello a type of rap? Iambic pentameter and what not? Soliloquizing about bling and bitches, and getting rich or dying trying, something like that? Welp, can't argue with success, because Sticky's got a big-time acting job playing "Blade" on TV. You know, the half human half vampire hunter of vampires (and what not). It's kinda like being a runner-up to playing James Bond in a way. Always a good thing to let people know that. Lets people know you were vetted by all the right Hollywood people as being certified handsome and or sexy.
However, just like Betsy DeVos wasn't satisfied just being her old rich-ass self and found herself seeking a nice, prestigious government job, so too did Fingaz find himself getting pushed around by all these big-time directors. Hit your mark, my ass! The director's chair... that's where the real power is. I mean, besides being a film producer, making sure the cast and crew don't spend your money in vain.
But when you're doing your research on the fly like me (gulp), you can't help but notice that this guy started out as some sort of rap master, a master of rap and what not. And like most or all rappers, as it turns out, they really want to act. For what is rapping if not a type of acting? Is not even Shakespeare's Othello a type of rap? Iambic pentameter and what not? Soliloquizing about bling and bitches, and getting rich or dying trying, something like that? Welp, can't argue with success, because Sticky's got a big-time acting job playing "Blade" on TV. You know, the half human half vampire hunter of vampires (and what not). It's kinda like being a runner-up to playing James Bond in a way. Always a good thing to let people know that. Lets people know you were vetted by all the right Hollywood people as being certified handsome and or sexy.
However, just like Betsy DeVos wasn't satisfied just being her old rich-ass self and found herself seeking a nice, prestigious government job, so too did Fingaz find himself getting pushed around by all these big-time directors. Hit your mark, my ass! The director's chair... that's where the real power is. I mean, besides being a film producer, making sure the cast and crew don't spend your money in vain.
Happy Mattress Discount Day!
In the crowded movie marketplace, Lego(TM) Batman(TM) and the Fifty Shades of Gray sequel hold fast to their places, as per the expectations of most. But Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have finally put their differences aside to help flog Damon's latest, the CGI extravaganza The Great Wall, probably based on a graphic novel by ... I'm going to say the Road to Perdition guy, Max Allan Collins. Alan Moore wouldn't want to take credit, apparently ever. As for those who are thinking that Matt Damon has seen better days, well... hey, look at it this way. Why does Ben Affleck get to have all the fun? ...well, the appearance of fun, anyway? Nice work if you can get it.
Meanwhile, our second debut coming in at #5, it's... yes, even though unions of schoolteachers and concerned parents across the globe are finally putting an end to bullying once and for all, Hollywood has to keep the torch burning. It's kinda their bread and butter, you see. Good, enduring screenplay crutches are hard to come by, and what has been better to the advancement of celluloid storytelling than having a big guy come in and say "Well, well, well... what have we here? Fresh meat! Scraggly, verbose, pimply, four-eyed fresh meat..." We zoom in on the big guy feeling the nerd's arms, saying "Hmm! I'm guessing you don't do push-ups much." We pan down to the nerd's legs and... okay, enough fun. You get the idea. But the R-rated Fist Fight, well... it doesn't seem to be for the kids, let's put it that way. Even the cool high school kids dating jumpy college freshmen are all, like, "Ah, these movies are too grimy these days. Let's just watch porn at home instead." Still, sad as it may seem, the screenwriters and producers of said Fist Fight are thinking to themselves that this is the culmination of a dream. A dream that began with a screenplay twenty years ago. They tried to get it to Bruce Willis at the time, but he's harder to get to than a North Korean dictator. I guess his half brother would just have to do... too soon? Then they tried to get it to Adam Sandler, but you know how it is. Screenwriter Tim Herlihy is the gatekeeper of Castle Sandler. As for the implications of already strained race relations in this particular fist fight... Charlie Day v. Ice Cube? Should be a no-brainer, right? They both team up against the evil right-wing Vice Principal! Duh!
And finally, it's a sad day in Verbinski-ville. If there is a way to put "#1 for Two Weeks" on a license plate, director Gore Verbinski may have found it, but not lately. Gone are the days of The Weather Man... you know, the small project done in between Pirates of the Caribbean installments. But he's working his way back to us, babe, with a burning love for final cut inside. His latest is called A Cure for Wellness. The plot? An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps... the writers got the idea after they saw Apocalypse Now recently on Blu-Ray... and not just the part where the section of jungle gets blown up, either. No, the whole thing, all five or six hours of it. Also, something similar happened to them after they went on vacation after The Lone Ranger (2013) came out in theatres, then just as quickly left. Owwch!
Meanwhile, our second debut coming in at #5, it's... yes, even though unions of schoolteachers and concerned parents across the globe are finally putting an end to bullying once and for all, Hollywood has to keep the torch burning. It's kinda their bread and butter, you see. Good, enduring screenplay crutches are hard to come by, and what has been better to the advancement of celluloid storytelling than having a big guy come in and say "Well, well, well... what have we here? Fresh meat! Scraggly, verbose, pimply, four-eyed fresh meat..." We zoom in on the big guy feeling the nerd's arms, saying "Hmm! I'm guessing you don't do push-ups much." We pan down to the nerd's legs and... okay, enough fun. You get the idea. But the R-rated Fist Fight, well... it doesn't seem to be for the kids, let's put it that way. Even the cool high school kids dating jumpy college freshmen are all, like, "Ah, these movies are too grimy these days. Let's just watch porn at home instead." Still, sad as it may seem, the screenwriters and producers of said Fist Fight are thinking to themselves that this is the culmination of a dream. A dream that began with a screenplay twenty years ago. They tried to get it to Bruce Willis at the time, but he's harder to get to than a North Korean dictator. I guess his half brother would just have to do... too soon? Then they tried to get it to Adam Sandler, but you know how it is. Screenwriter Tim Herlihy is the gatekeeper of Castle Sandler. As for the implications of already strained race relations in this particular fist fight... Charlie Day v. Ice Cube? Should be a no-brainer, right? They both team up against the evil right-wing Vice Principal! Duh!
And finally, it's a sad day in Verbinski-ville. If there is a way to put "#1 for Two Weeks" on a license plate, director Gore Verbinski may have found it, but not lately. Gone are the days of The Weather Man... you know, the small project done in between Pirates of the Caribbean installments. But he's working his way back to us, babe, with a burning love for final cut inside. His latest is called A Cure for Wellness. The plot? An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps... the writers got the idea after they saw Apocalypse Now recently on Blu-Ray... and not just the part where the section of jungle gets blown up, either. No, the whole thing, all five or six hours of it. Also, something similar happened to them after they went on vacation after The Lone Ranger (2013) came out in theatres, then just as quickly left. Owwch!
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Auteur Watch - Kim Fields
Hey, it's Tootie from "The Facts of Life"! You might also know her as Roseanne from "For Better or for Worse," not based on Lynn Johnston's comic strip of the same name. These days she kinda splits her time between acting and directing... okay, maybe about a 30/70 split. Dang, but she directs a lot. Well, producers like her because she gets things done fast, or on time and under budget rather, just like Donald Trump! And she was indeed a good get for Tyler Perry, as he had her work on both "Meet the Browns" and "House of Payne." Of course, Tyler's busy with so many projects. I'll bet he doesn't even show up at the cast reunions anymore. Probably doesn't even send over a tape of himself, saying "Congratulations on completing another season of [FILL IN THE BLANK]. TBS has announced that we're returning next year for another season of [FILL IN THE BLANK] and..." Always remember: hold up a card over your mouth for the titles, just like the animated characters do on the Oscars... or do they anymore? I think they spend the extra $50,000 now and have the characters lip sync every title, and of course only show the winning clip. The point being........
A Rising Tide of Debuts
The non-Shyamalan parts of Hollywood breathed a big sigh of relief this weekend. I mean, hey, Split crossed that all-important 100 million mark and all, so they're all still laughing their way to the bank, but still. I mean, the day a non-Batman related movie goes #1 for four weeks in a row is a day of reckoning indeed. But a veritable debut flood has come to town at the air-conditioned Multiplex. We got Keanu Reeves' latest is at #3. It's John Wick: Chapter 2 and... whatever. The timeless story of a well-compensated mercenary is still all the rage. I mean, he's got a set of rules he lives by! Who among(st) us can ever claim that? Of all the things Keanu could make a sequel to, sometimes you just gotta go with the latest and greatest. But who knows? Maybe we can expect Chapter 3 in six months. You know, Matrix and what not.
And coming in at #2, a little earlier than Valentine's Day, is the sequel to Fifty Shades of Black... I mean, Grey. I WISH it was a sequel to the Marlon Wayans classic, but he's got other fish to fry. No, we're in for three installments of the E.L. James series of novels, soon to be shrink-wrapped at Costco for your viewing pleasure and the pleasure of buying in bulk. And just as director Bill Condon revitalized his career with the Twilight saga, so too does James Foley, brother of Letterman's director Jerry and director of such classics as Glengarry Glen Ross and... others, I'm sure... revitalizes his career with the Fifty Shades franchise. If the camera doesn't come out from behind something black (his signature visual trademark, you see) I'll be very disappointed.
Alas, it's the kid-friendly fare that rules this weekend on the heels of Valentine's Day. At #1, it's... really? The Lego(TM) Batman(TM) Movie? Well, first of all, this is no Henry Selick production, for example. Bear in mind, this is probably computerized Legos at work here, as with that one Simpsons episode, right? I thought the whole point of Legos was that you're actually using them with your hands, and not just in digital form on a hard drive farm in Marin County. Also, there's a little scope creep in the DC Comics universe, as characters from Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings are on hand to add their support. Also, there's a character named Clayface, but I doubt Will Vinton was consulted on this at all. One of the draws of the original Lego Movie was that they'd be debuting a new Lego piece, maybe available at Lego's online store. What paradigm shift will this one have to offer? A sneak peek at Season 3 and a half of TV's "Gotham"? Legos will now be made of a cheaper, yet more earth-friendly form of Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene? Oh well. Think of it this way: when I was younger, I didn't go to see The Mask (1994) because of the plot... I went to see it to honor the legacy of Tex Avery! And look up Cameron Diaz's dress, of course! Derrr!!!
Oh, but enough of movie news. Like most of you, I was just so completely distressed about Senate Rule 19 last week. I understand that Donald Trump called Mitch McConnell afterwards and said "You forgot to call her Pocahontas, you idiot!" Apparently, Mitch answers to an even more ancient tradition than the Trump legacy, and getting outraged about this obscure parliamentary procedure could very well indeed be his finest hour. Well, second only to saying that the "Biden Rule" is about a principle, not a person. Or a person and not a principle, one of the two. Must be nice when you get to have your cake and eat it, too, for not only was Elizabeth Warren temporarily shut down on the senate floor, they also got Jeff(erson Beauregard) Sessions as the new Attorney General, ready to carry on the hard work of undoing all the good that Bill Clinton and Barack Obama tried to do... oh, and there were four senators who finished reading the text of Coretta Scott King's letter on the senate floor where Sen. Warren wasn't allowed to finish.
And it is in that spirit that I offer a text version of Coretta's letter. This is about a principle AND a person! I read the letter off a couple of jpeg files, typed out the text in Notepad (ick, I know. Well, I don't get to use pico anymore these days) and double checked it for the many, many typos that I made. Even though I'm a pretty fast typer, I seem to have a lot of typos creeping into my very fingers as I get older. Ah! Fresh bad habits to try and break for a change! Okay, enough of me. Here's the letter. And for those of you who have blogs out there, this might be a good exercise for you too. Find a copy of the letter online, type it out yourself and post it! Let's all brace ourselves for our next Attorney General and baby-grandpa hybrid Beauregard Sessions. He'll probably keep a very very very low profile, but let's see what type of decisions we're in for....
Statement of Coretta Scott King on the Nomination of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions for the United States District Court, Southern District of Alabama
Senate Judiciary Committee
Thursday, March 13, 1986
Mr. Chairman and Members of the Committee:
Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to express my strong opposition to the nomination of Jefferson Sessions for a federal district judgeship for the Southern District of Alabama. My longstanding commitment which I shared with my husband, Martin, to protect and enhance the rights of Black Americans, rights which include equal access to the democratic process, compels me to testify today.
Civil rights leaders, including my husband and Albert Turner, have fought long and hard to achieve free and unfettered access to the ballot box. Mr. Sessions has used the awesome power of his office to chill the free exercise of the vote by black citizens in the district he now seeks to serve as a federal judge. This simply cannot be allowed to happen. Mr. Sessions' conduct as U.S. Attorney, from his politically-motivated voting fraud prosecutions to his indifference toward criminal violations of civil rights laws, indicates that he lacks the temperament, fairness and judgment to be a federal judge.
The Voting Rights Act was, and still is, vitally important to the future of democracy in the United States. I was privileged to join Martin and many others during the Selma to Montgomery march for voting rights in 1965. Martin was particularly impressed by the determination to get the franchise of blacks in Selma and neighboring Perry County. As he wrote, "Certainly no community in the history of the Negro struggle has responded with the enthusiasm of Selma and her neighboring town of Marion. Where Birmingham depended largely upon students and unemployed adults [to participate in non-violent protest of the denial of the franchise], Selma has involved fully 10 per cent of the Negro population in active demonstrations, and at least half the Negro population of Marion was arrested on one day." (The New York Times, Sunday Magazine, March 14, 1985) Martin was referring of course to a group that included the defendants recently prosecuted for assisting elderly and illiterate blacks to exercise that franchise. In fact, Martin anticipated from the depth of their commitment twenty years ago, that a united political organization would remain in Perry County long after the other marchers had left. This organization, the Perry County Civic League, started by Mr. Turner, Mr. Hogue, and others, as Martin predicted, continued "to direct the drive for votes and other rights." In the years since the Voting Rights Act was passed, Black Americans in Marion, Selma and elsewhere have made important strides in their struggle to participate actively in the electoral process. The number of Blacks registered to vote in key Southern states has doubled since 1965. This would not have been possible without the Voting Rights Act.
However, Blacks still fall far short of having equal participation in the electoral process. Particularly in the South, efforts continue to be made to deny Blacks access to the polls, even where Blacks constitute the majority of the voters. It has been a long up-hill struggle to keep alive the vital legislation that protects the most fundamental right to vote. A person who has exhibited so much hostility to the enforcement of those laws, and thus, to the exercise of those right by Black people should not be elevated to the federal bench.
The irony of Mr. Sessions' nomination is that, if confirmed, he will be given life tenure for doing with a federal prosecution what the local sheriffs accomplished twenty years ago with clubs and cattle prods. Twenty years ago, when we marched from Selma to Montgomery, the fear of voting was real, as the broken bones and bloody heads in Selma and Marion bore witness. As my husband wrote at the time, "it was not just a sick imagination that conjured up the vision of a public official, sworn to uphold the law, who forced an inhuman march upon hundreds of Negro children; who ordered the Rev. James Bevel to be chained to his sickbed; who clubbed a Negro woman registrant, and who callously inflicted repeated brutalities and indignities upon nonviolent Negroes peacefully petitioning for their constitutional right to vote." (Civil Right No. 1 -- The Right to Vote," by Martin Luther King Jr., The New York Times, Sunday Magazine, March 14, 1965)
Free exercise of voting rights is so fundamental to American democracy that we can not tolerate any form of infringement of those rights. Of all the groups who have been disenfranchised in our nation's history, none has struggled longer or suffered more in the attempt to win the vote than Black citizens. No group has had access to the ballot box denied so persistently and intently. Over the past century, a broad array of schemes have been used in attempts to block the Black vote. The range of techniques developed with the purpose of repressing black voting rights run the gamut from the straightforward application of brutality against black citizens who tried to vote to such legalized frauds as "grandfather clause" exclusions and rigged literacy tests.
The actions taken by Mr. Sessions in regard to the 1984 voting fraud prosecutions represent just one more technique used to intimidate Black voters and thus deny them this most precious franchise. The investigations into the absentee voting process were conducted only in the Black Belt counties where blacks had finally achieved political power in the local government. Whites had been using the absentee process to their advantage for years, without incident. Then, when Blacks; realizing its strength, began to use it with success, criminal investigations were begun.
In these investigations, Mr. Sessions, as U.S. Attorney, exhibited an eagerness to bring to trial and convict three leaders of the Perry County Civic League including Albert Turner despite evidence clearly demonstrating their innocence of any wrongdoing. Furthermore, in initiating the case, Mr. Sessions ignored allegations of similar behavior by whites, choosing instead to chill the exercise of the franchise by blacks by his misguided investigation. In fact, Mr. Sessions sought to punish older black civil rights activists, advisors and colleagues of my husband, who had been key figures in the civil rights movement in the 1960's. These were persons who, realizing the potential of the absentee vote among Blacks, had learned to use the process within the bounds of legality and had taught others to do the same. The only sin they committed was being too successful in gaining votes.
The scope and character of the investigations conducted by Mr. Sessions also warrant grave concern. Witnesses were selectively chosen in accordance with the favorability of their testimony to the government's case. Also, the prosecution illegally withheld from the defense critical statements made by witnesses. Witnesses who did testify were pressured and intimidated into submitting the "correct" testimony. Many elderly blacks were visited multiple times by the FBI who then hauled them over 180 miles by bus to a grand jury in Mobile when they could more easily have testified at a grand jury twenty miles away in Selma. These voters, and others, have announced they are now never going to vote again.
I urge you to consider carefully Mr. Sessions' conduct in these matters. Such a review, I believe, raises serious questions about his commitment to the protection of the voting rights of all American citizens and consequently his fair and unbiased judgment regarding this fundamental right. When the circumstances and facts surrounding the indictments of Al Turner, his wife, Evelyn, and Spencer Hogue are analyzed, it becomes clear that the motivation was political, and the result frightening -- the wide-scale chill of the exercise of the ballot for blacks, who suffered so much to receive that right in the first place. Therefore, it is my strongly-held view that the appointment of Jefferson {Beauregard} Sessions to the federal bench would irreparably damage the work of my husband, Al Turner, and countless others who risked their lives and freedom over the past twenty years to ensure equal participation in our democratic system.
The exercise of the franchise is an essential means by which our citizens ensure that those who are governing will be responsible. My husband called it the number one civil right. The denial of access to the ballot box ultimately results in the denial of other fundamental rights. For, it is only when the poor and disadvantaged are empowered that they are able to participate actively in the solutions to their own problems.
We still have a long way to go before we can say that minorities no longer need be concerned about discrimination at the polls. Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans and Asian Americans are grossly underrepresented at every level of government in America. If we are going to make our timeless dream of justice through democracy a reality, we must take every possible step to ensure that the spirit and intent of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and the Fifteenth Amendment of the Constitution is honored.
The federal courts hold a unique position in our constitutional system, ensuring that minorities and other citizens without political power have a forum in which to vindicate their rights. Because of this unique role, it is essential that the people selected to be federal judges respect the basic tenets of our legal system: respect for individual rights and a commitment to equal justice for all. The integrity of the Courts, and thus the rights they protect, can only be maintained if citizens feel confident that those selected as federal judges will be able to judge with fairness others holding differing views.
I do not believe Jefferson {Beauregard} Sessions possesses the requisite judgment, competence, and sensitivity to the rights guaranteed by the federal civil rights laws to qualify for appointment to the federal district court. Based on his record, I believe his confirmation would have a devastating effect on not only the judicial system in Alabama, but also on the progress we have made everywhere toward fulfilling my husband's dream that he envisioned over twenty years ago. I therefore urge the Senate Judiciary Committee to deny his confirmation.
I thank you for allowing me to share my views.
And coming in at #2, a little earlier than Valentine's Day, is the sequel to Fifty Shades of Black... I mean, Grey. I WISH it was a sequel to the Marlon Wayans classic, but he's got other fish to fry. No, we're in for three installments of the E.L. James series of novels, soon to be shrink-wrapped at Costco for your viewing pleasure and the pleasure of buying in bulk. And just as director Bill Condon revitalized his career with the Twilight saga, so too does James Foley, brother of Letterman's director Jerry and director of such classics as Glengarry Glen Ross and... others, I'm sure... revitalizes his career with the Fifty Shades franchise. If the camera doesn't come out from behind something black (his signature visual trademark, you see) I'll be very disappointed.
Alas, it's the kid-friendly fare that rules this weekend on the heels of Valentine's Day. At #1, it's... really? The Lego(TM) Batman(TM) Movie? Well, first of all, this is no Henry Selick production, for example. Bear in mind, this is probably computerized Legos at work here, as with that one Simpsons episode, right? I thought the whole point of Legos was that you're actually using them with your hands, and not just in digital form on a hard drive farm in Marin County. Also, there's a little scope creep in the DC Comics universe, as characters from Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings are on hand to add their support. Also, there's a character named Clayface, but I doubt Will Vinton was consulted on this at all. One of the draws of the original Lego Movie was that they'd be debuting a new Lego piece, maybe available at Lego's online store. What paradigm shift will this one have to offer? A sneak peek at Season 3 and a half of TV's "Gotham"? Legos will now be made of a cheaper, yet more earth-friendly form of Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene? Oh well. Think of it this way: when I was younger, I didn't go to see The Mask (1994) because of the plot... I went to see it to honor the legacy of Tex Avery! And look up Cameron Diaz's dress, of course! Derrr!!!
Oh, but enough of movie news. Like most of you, I was just so completely distressed about Senate Rule 19 last week. I understand that Donald Trump called Mitch McConnell afterwards and said "You forgot to call her Pocahontas, you idiot!" Apparently, Mitch answers to an even more ancient tradition than the Trump legacy, and getting outraged about this obscure parliamentary procedure could very well indeed be his finest hour. Well, second only to saying that the "Biden Rule" is about a principle, not a person. Or a person and not a principle, one of the two. Must be nice when you get to have your cake and eat it, too, for not only was Elizabeth Warren temporarily shut down on the senate floor, they also got Jeff(erson Beauregard) Sessions as the new Attorney General, ready to carry on the hard work of undoing all the good that Bill Clinton and Barack Obama tried to do... oh, and there were four senators who finished reading the text of Coretta Scott King's letter on the senate floor where Sen. Warren wasn't allowed to finish.
And it is in that spirit that I offer a text version of Coretta's letter. This is about a principle AND a person! I read the letter off a couple of jpeg files, typed out the text in Notepad (ick, I know. Well, I don't get to use pico anymore these days) and double checked it for the many, many typos that I made. Even though I'm a pretty fast typer, I seem to have a lot of typos creeping into my very fingers as I get older. Ah! Fresh bad habits to try and break for a change! Okay, enough of me. Here's the letter. And for those of you who have blogs out there, this might be a good exercise for you too. Find a copy of the letter online, type it out yourself and post it! Let's all brace ourselves for our next Attorney General and baby-grandpa hybrid Beauregard Sessions. He'll probably keep a very very very low profile, but let's see what type of decisions we're in for....
Statement of Coretta Scott King on the Nomination of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions for the United States District Court, Southern District of Alabama
Senate Judiciary Committee
Thursday, March 13, 1986
Mr. Chairman and Members of the Committee:
Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to express my strong opposition to the nomination of Jefferson Sessions for a federal district judgeship for the Southern District of Alabama. My longstanding commitment which I shared with my husband, Martin, to protect and enhance the rights of Black Americans, rights which include equal access to the democratic process, compels me to testify today.
Civil rights leaders, including my husband and Albert Turner, have fought long and hard to achieve free and unfettered access to the ballot box. Mr. Sessions has used the awesome power of his office to chill the free exercise of the vote by black citizens in the district he now seeks to serve as a federal judge. This simply cannot be allowed to happen. Mr. Sessions' conduct as U.S. Attorney, from his politically-motivated voting fraud prosecutions to his indifference toward criminal violations of civil rights laws, indicates that he lacks the temperament, fairness and judgment to be a federal judge.
The Voting Rights Act was, and still is, vitally important to the future of democracy in the United States. I was privileged to join Martin and many others during the Selma to Montgomery march for voting rights in 1965. Martin was particularly impressed by the determination to get the franchise of blacks in Selma and neighboring Perry County. As he wrote, "Certainly no community in the history of the Negro struggle has responded with the enthusiasm of Selma and her neighboring town of Marion. Where Birmingham depended largely upon students and unemployed adults [to participate in non-violent protest of the denial of the franchise], Selma has involved fully 10 per cent of the Negro population in active demonstrations, and at least half the Negro population of Marion was arrested on one day." (The New York Times, Sunday Magazine, March 14, 1985) Martin was referring of course to a group that included the defendants recently prosecuted for assisting elderly and illiterate blacks to exercise that franchise. In fact, Martin anticipated from the depth of their commitment twenty years ago, that a united political organization would remain in Perry County long after the other marchers had left. This organization, the Perry County Civic League, started by Mr. Turner, Mr. Hogue, and others, as Martin predicted, continued "to direct the drive for votes and other rights." In the years since the Voting Rights Act was passed, Black Americans in Marion, Selma and elsewhere have made important strides in their struggle to participate actively in the electoral process. The number of Blacks registered to vote in key Southern states has doubled since 1965. This would not have been possible without the Voting Rights Act.
However, Blacks still fall far short of having equal participation in the electoral process. Particularly in the South, efforts continue to be made to deny Blacks access to the polls, even where Blacks constitute the majority of the voters. It has been a long up-hill struggle to keep alive the vital legislation that protects the most fundamental right to vote. A person who has exhibited so much hostility to the enforcement of those laws, and thus, to the exercise of those right by Black people should not be elevated to the federal bench.
The irony of Mr. Sessions' nomination is that, if confirmed, he will be given life tenure for doing with a federal prosecution what the local sheriffs accomplished twenty years ago with clubs and cattle prods. Twenty years ago, when we marched from Selma to Montgomery, the fear of voting was real, as the broken bones and bloody heads in Selma and Marion bore witness. As my husband wrote at the time, "it was not just a sick imagination that conjured up the vision of a public official, sworn to uphold the law, who forced an inhuman march upon hundreds of Negro children; who ordered the Rev. James Bevel to be chained to his sickbed; who clubbed a Negro woman registrant, and who callously inflicted repeated brutalities and indignities upon nonviolent Negroes peacefully petitioning for their constitutional right to vote." (Civil Right No. 1 -- The Right to Vote," by Martin Luther King Jr., The New York Times, Sunday Magazine, March 14, 1965)
Free exercise of voting rights is so fundamental to American democracy that we can not tolerate any form of infringement of those rights. Of all the groups who have been disenfranchised in our nation's history, none has struggled longer or suffered more in the attempt to win the vote than Black citizens. No group has had access to the ballot box denied so persistently and intently. Over the past century, a broad array of schemes have been used in attempts to block the Black vote. The range of techniques developed with the purpose of repressing black voting rights run the gamut from the straightforward application of brutality against black citizens who tried to vote to such legalized frauds as "grandfather clause" exclusions and rigged literacy tests.
The actions taken by Mr. Sessions in regard to the 1984 voting fraud prosecutions represent just one more technique used to intimidate Black voters and thus deny them this most precious franchise. The investigations into the absentee voting process were conducted only in the Black Belt counties where blacks had finally achieved political power in the local government. Whites had been using the absentee process to their advantage for years, without incident. Then, when Blacks; realizing its strength, began to use it with success, criminal investigations were begun.
In these investigations, Mr. Sessions, as U.S. Attorney, exhibited an eagerness to bring to trial and convict three leaders of the Perry County Civic League including Albert Turner despite evidence clearly demonstrating their innocence of any wrongdoing. Furthermore, in initiating the case, Mr. Sessions ignored allegations of similar behavior by whites, choosing instead to chill the exercise of the franchise by blacks by his misguided investigation. In fact, Mr. Sessions sought to punish older black civil rights activists, advisors and colleagues of my husband, who had been key figures in the civil rights movement in the 1960's. These were persons who, realizing the potential of the absentee vote among Blacks, had learned to use the process within the bounds of legality and had taught others to do the same. The only sin they committed was being too successful in gaining votes.
The scope and character of the investigations conducted by Mr. Sessions also warrant grave concern. Witnesses were selectively chosen in accordance with the favorability of their testimony to the government's case. Also, the prosecution illegally withheld from the defense critical statements made by witnesses. Witnesses who did testify were pressured and intimidated into submitting the "correct" testimony. Many elderly blacks were visited multiple times by the FBI who then hauled them over 180 miles by bus to a grand jury in Mobile when they could more easily have testified at a grand jury twenty miles away in Selma. These voters, and others, have announced they are now never going to vote again.
I urge you to consider carefully Mr. Sessions' conduct in these matters. Such a review, I believe, raises serious questions about his commitment to the protection of the voting rights of all American citizens and consequently his fair and unbiased judgment regarding this fundamental right. When the circumstances and facts surrounding the indictments of Al Turner, his wife, Evelyn, and Spencer Hogue are analyzed, it becomes clear that the motivation was political, and the result frightening -- the wide-scale chill of the exercise of the ballot for blacks, who suffered so much to receive that right in the first place. Therefore, it is my strongly-held view that the appointment of Jefferson {Beauregard} Sessions to the federal bench would irreparably damage the work of my husband, Al Turner, and countless others who risked their lives and freedom over the past twenty years to ensure equal participation in our democratic system.
The exercise of the franchise is an essential means by which our citizens ensure that those who are governing will be responsible. My husband called it the number one civil right. The denial of access to the ballot box ultimately results in the denial of other fundamental rights. For, it is only when the poor and disadvantaged are empowered that they are able to participate actively in the solutions to their own problems.
We still have a long way to go before we can say that minorities no longer need be concerned about discrimination at the polls. Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans and Asian Americans are grossly underrepresented at every level of government in America. If we are going to make our timeless dream of justice through democracy a reality, we must take every possible step to ensure that the spirit and intent of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and the Fifteenth Amendment of the Constitution is honored.
The federal courts hold a unique position in our constitutional system, ensuring that minorities and other citizens without political power have a forum in which to vindicate their rights. Because of this unique role, it is essential that the people selected to be federal judges respect the basic tenets of our legal system: respect for individual rights and a commitment to equal justice for all. The integrity of the Courts, and thus the rights they protect, can only be maintained if citizens feel confident that those selected as federal judges will be able to judge with fairness others holding differing views.
I do not believe Jefferson {Beauregard} Sessions possesses the requisite judgment, competence, and sensitivity to the rights guaranteed by the federal civil rights laws to qualify for appointment to the federal district court. Based on his record, I believe his confirmation would have a devastating effect on not only the judicial system in Alabama, but also on the progress we have made everywhere toward fulfilling my husband's dream that he envisioned over twenty years ago. I therefore urge the Senate Judiciary Committee to deny his confirmation.
I thank you for allowing me to share my views.
Sunday, February 05, 2017
Auteur Watch - Chip Fields
It was a different era... at least, there wasn't as much internet. Back then, you could work on something like Menace II Society and still get ahead in the biz. As for Chip Fields, well, she stuck with the speed and safety of television shows. But really? "House of Payne"? "Meet the Browns"? How much writing can one man like Tyler Perry do? Even Stephen King's all, like, "Whoa! Slow down, dude!"
Alas, work's slowed down lately, as the real directing job is staying home with the kids. After all, movie stars are a lot like kids, only they eat way way more. Chip's hubby, Erv, is at least connected to all the right people. Having worked with Jimmy Kimmel on ABC, the Fields are still well in touch with the pinnacle of Hollywood. And seeing as how Kimmel's all set to host the Oscars this year, there's a small window of opportunity to get one more acting gig, perhaps in a big commercial. Hey, it worked for Troy B(e)yer, right? ... I still say it's her.
Alas, work's slowed down lately, as the real directing job is staying home with the kids. After all, movie stars are a lot like kids, only they eat way way more. Chip's hubby, Erv, is at least connected to all the right people. Having worked with Jimmy Kimmel on ABC, the Fields are still well in touch with the pinnacle of Hollywood. And seeing as how Kimmel's all set to host the Oscars this year, there's a small window of opportunity to get one more acting gig, perhaps in a big commercial. Hey, it worked for Troy B(e)yer, right? ... I still say it's her.
You Know, that Steve Bannon Makes a Good Point...
...am I overusing this image yet? And so, the Republicans continue down the slippery slope that represents the level of quality in national politics. Nixon, Reagan, Dubya... and now Agent Orange. The neatest statistic I heard was featured on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" about how long it usually takes for a president's disapproval rating to overtake his approval rating. For the previous four, it was about 1,000 days. For Agent Orange, EIGHT DAYS. So my question is... really? Eight? Why so long? I guess it doesn't take into account how fast the data was collected and processed, which could take about eight days, actually. But apparently it's all part of Steve Bannon's plan to dress like a slob, and apparently at every meeting he goes to, he always says "Sorry I'm late, I was sleeping in my car." Yeah, we get it. At least he's not into his hoodie / backwards baseball cap phase yet, but it's coming. Look at me! I'm eighteen again! He's reportedly still taunting his ex-wife by phone, and using the White House to do it. And why not? What's the point of being the president if you can't criticize people like TV producer Mark Burnett and movie stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Sure, I could call Ah-nold faded here, but you know what? At least he tried to do some good as Governor of California.
All right, enough proselytizing for now... wow! No dashed red line under that one! Must of... have gotten it right. On to the box office for this week. I've noticed the trend of one-word titles before, but there's only four this week. We've got Lion brought to you by Google Earth, we got Sing brought to you by Pixar-ish. We've got a reboot of the 1998 Japanese horror classic Ringu called Rings and, well, something tells me we're well past VCR technology now. Why can't ghosts just pass right through cellphones? What are the metaphysical rules on that? We're getting asymptotically close to a Shocker (1989) reboot... but Peter Berg wouldn't touch that with a ten foot director's riding crop! Incidentally, what's The Ring (2002) director Gore Verbinski up to?... ah, yes! A Cure for Wellness! Something decidedly more modest in budget, I'm assuming, especially after The Lone Ranger. Ain't it always the way? Same thing happened to the Coens after The Hudsucker Proxy.
Okay, on to other directors. I just can't bear to give Shyamalan props, I suppose, but it looks like Split isn't going to make #1 for a fourth week in a row. Not with John Wick 2 coming out next week... that'll be big, right? Anyway, our final, third debut continues the re-vamped expensive Mars subgenre, which includes titles like The Martian... I guess that's the only one. But with the debate clearly over about leaving Mars for any indigenous Martians that may exist, living or fossilized, we now get The Space Between Us, about the first human born on Mars returning to Earth. You know, in the year 2073. Needles to say, this is probably a return to form for both director Peter Chelsom and strangely-familiar writer Allan Loeb... I mean, for God's sake! The dude had to sell an X-Box to someone! Now that is suffering. As for the title, well... I'm reminded of that great lyricist who reached into his bag of lyrics and came out with the following: take the space between us, fill it up some way. Take the space between us, fill it up. Fill it up... sorry, don't have the resources to do an online contest. One worth doing, anyway.
All right, enough proselytizing for now... wow! No dashed red line under that one! Must of... have gotten it right. On to the box office for this week. I've noticed the trend of one-word titles before, but there's only four this week. We've got Lion brought to you by Google Earth, we got Sing brought to you by Pixar-ish. We've got a reboot of the 1998 Japanese horror classic Ringu called Rings and, well, something tells me we're well past VCR technology now. Why can't ghosts just pass right through cellphones? What are the metaphysical rules on that? We're getting asymptotically close to a Shocker (1989) reboot... but Peter Berg wouldn't touch that with a ten foot director's riding crop! Incidentally, what's The Ring (2002) director Gore Verbinski up to?... ah, yes! A Cure for Wellness! Something decidedly more modest in budget, I'm assuming, especially after The Lone Ranger. Ain't it always the way? Same thing happened to the Coens after The Hudsucker Proxy.
Okay, on to other directors. I just can't bear to give Shyamalan props, I suppose, but it looks like Split isn't going to make #1 for a fourth week in a row. Not with John Wick 2 coming out next week... that'll be big, right? Anyway, our final, third debut continues the re-vamped expensive Mars subgenre, which includes titles like The Martian... I guess that's the only one. But with the debate clearly over about leaving Mars for any indigenous Martians that may exist, living or fossilized, we now get The Space Between Us, about the first human born on Mars returning to Earth. You know, in the year 2073. Needles to say, this is probably a return to form for both director Peter Chelsom and strangely-familiar writer Allan Loeb... I mean, for God's sake! The dude had to sell an X-Box to someone! Now that is suffering. As for the title, well... I'm reminded of that great lyricist who reached into his bag of lyrics and came out with the following: take the space between us, fill it up some way. Take the space between us, fill it up. Fill it up... sorry, don't have the resources to do an online contest. One worth doing, anyway.
Thursday, February 02, 2017
Short Reviews - February 2017
I've probably made this suggestion several times already, but I think it's worth repeating: the "Wheeler Dealers" movie. With Benedict Cumberbatch as Edd China, and Ricky Gervais as... you know, the other one. And who knows? Maybe Elon Musk will stop by with a Tesla or two. Casting directors of Hollywood, let's make it happen.
Suburbicon - So far it's the only new Coen project on the horizon...
"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" - ...UNTIL NOW!!!! Oh, I wonder if this is the one with the unforgettable role for a chicken! N'awesome.
---
American Hero - With Timothy Bottoms as Jack Armstrong
The Best of Times - With Robin Williams as Jack Dundee (..."Crocodile"?)
Clementine - With Steven Seagal as Jack Miller
Club Paradise - With Robin Williams as Jack Moniker
Dogma - Some have called this a classic. I call it probably the best that Kevin Smith can do. Maybe think of it like what Malcolm X is to Spike Lee, for your Movies SAT game. Or what The Brothers McMullen is to Edward Burns.
Fire Down Below - With Steven Seagal as Jack Taggart
The Glimmer Man - With Steven Seagal as Cole... LIEUTENANT Jack Cole, b'atch! (Keenan Ivory Wayans co-stars as the glimmer...)
I Am Not Your Negro - ...with Antonio Fargas as James Baldwin? Is that asking so bloody much?
I Can Hardly Wait (1943) - ...for it to be OVER! The current state of our national politics, that is. Sorry to keep harping on this, but I can't help but think of the current administration when I think of this one exchange. In Curly's dream, they're getting ready to pull his bad tooth. Curly asks "Is it gonna hurt?" Moe says "Of course not. I won't even feel it!"
The Irishman - Welp, it took about 45 years, but Pacino's finally working with Scorsese on something! It'll be worth the wait, I know it.
Jack - With Robin Williams as Jack
"Jack Reed: Badge of Honor" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: A Search for Justice" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: One of Our Own" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: A Killer Among(st) Us" - With Brian Dennehy as Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: Death and Vengeance" - With Brian Dennehy as Death and Vengeance... I mean, Jack Reed
The Nostril Picker - Um... and why am I only finding about this title NOW?!!!!!!!???!!!!
Reckless - Somebody remind me to do a compilation of movie posters like this from the '80s with the title in scratchy cursive
"Shadow Man" - With Steven Seagal as Jack Foster
Strange Days - I'm kinda very relieved that the "squid" technology in the movie doesn't actually exist... YET. Or maybe it does, and the douchebags and or the military just don't want to give it to us ninety-nine percenters yet. However, the movie does have its limitations. For instance, Pinnacle Studio doesn't have editing technology for such clips. You have to watch the whole thing, even if the person dies before finishing the recording... incidentally, what if it keeps recording after the person dies? And second, there's no good "Squid to 2D" conversion technique. I mean, Mace tries to get Police Commissioner Tightass to watch a clip, but she doesn't have the finesse of a Leonard Nero, say; however, apparently Nero would have trouble with this guy as well. This was before people watched YouTube clips on their SmartPhones, mind you... also, Brainstorm called. Wants their idea back. Ouch.
The Survivors - With Jerry Reed as Jack Locke
"Teamster Boss: The Jackie Presser Story" - With Brian Dennehy as Jackie Presser
Suburbicon - So far it's the only new Coen project on the horizon...
"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" - ...UNTIL NOW!!!! Oh, I wonder if this is the one with the unforgettable role for a chicken! N'awesome.
---
American Hero - With Timothy Bottoms as Jack Armstrong
The Best of Times - With Robin Williams as Jack Dundee (..."Crocodile"?)
Clementine - With Steven Seagal as Jack Miller
Club Paradise - With Robin Williams as Jack Moniker
Dogma - Some have called this a classic. I call it probably the best that Kevin Smith can do. Maybe think of it like what Malcolm X is to Spike Lee, for your Movies SAT game. Or what The Brothers McMullen is to Edward Burns.
Fire Down Below - With Steven Seagal as Jack Taggart
The Glimmer Man - With Steven Seagal as Cole... LIEUTENANT Jack Cole, b'atch! (Keenan Ivory Wayans co-stars as the glimmer...)
I Am Not Your Negro - ...with Antonio Fargas as James Baldwin? Is that asking so bloody much?
I Can Hardly Wait (1943) - ...for it to be OVER! The current state of our national politics, that is. Sorry to keep harping on this, but I can't help but think of the current administration when I think of this one exchange. In Curly's dream, they're getting ready to pull his bad tooth. Curly asks "Is it gonna hurt?" Moe says "Of course not. I won't even feel it!"
The Irishman - Welp, it took about 45 years, but Pacino's finally working with Scorsese on something! It'll be worth the wait, I know it.
Jack - With Robin Williams as Jack
"Jack Reed: Badge of Honor" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: A Search for Justice" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: One of Our Own" - With Brian Dennehy as Sergeant Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: A Killer Among(st) Us" - With Brian Dennehy as Jack Reed
"Jack Reed: Death and Vengeance" - With Brian Dennehy as Death and Vengeance... I mean, Jack Reed
The Nostril Picker - Um... and why am I only finding about this title NOW?!!!!!!!???!!!!
Reckless - Somebody remind me to do a compilation of movie posters like this from the '80s with the title in scratchy cursive
"Shadow Man" - With Steven Seagal as Jack Foster
Strange Days - I'm kinda very relieved that the "squid" technology in the movie doesn't actually exist... YET. Or maybe it does, and the douchebags and or the military just don't want to give it to us ninety-nine percenters yet. However, the movie does have its limitations. For instance, Pinnacle Studio doesn't have editing technology for such clips. You have to watch the whole thing, even if the person dies before finishing the recording... incidentally, what if it keeps recording after the person dies? And second, there's no good "Squid to 2D" conversion technique. I mean, Mace tries to get Police Commissioner Tightass to watch a clip, but she doesn't have the finesse of a Leonard Nero, say; however, apparently Nero would have trouble with this guy as well. This was before people watched YouTube clips on their SmartPhones, mind you... also, Brainstorm called. Wants their idea back. Ouch.
The Survivors - With Jerry Reed as Jack Locke
"Teamster Boss: The Jackie Presser Story" - With Brian Dennehy as Jackie Presser
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Auteur Watch - Guetty Felin
Oh, good! Another short one. Well, if you spend any time at all looking at Guetty Felin's online CV over at the IMDb, the first title that might jump out at you is A Rooster on the Fire Escape, if only because there's not a year associated with the title, as is the custom with the other 99.99999999% of movies featured on said IMDb. But when you get right down to it, such a concept is damn near timeless... even if fire escapes are less than a century old. A Fish in the Bathtub, A Rooster on the Fire Escape, nature always finds a way to adapt to the constantly changing, never not domineering world of Homo sapiens... David Chudnovsky? Surely not THIS David Chudnovsky? Nah, I don't think so. I have yet to hear of someone being one of the greatest living mathematicians AND being transportation captain on "American Pie: The Naked Mile." When speaking of mutual exclusivity, that comes to mind.
But when you've got a small résumé like Guetty, you seem to be deciding whether to stick with the world of documentaries, or the world of film fiction. Which is probably why Michael Apted, for one, finds comfort in neither. Hunted, despised, shunned at the Port Angeles film festival, types like Apted really do have to build their own race of atomic supermen, to show the world of men and the world of Mother Nature that they can be its master. For Guetty, nothing less than a documentary about Obama would have to do... now, was Obama actually in the movie, or is it just file footage? Somehow I'm thinking the latter.
Nevertheless, when you've been to the mountain with a documentary such as Closer to the Dream, the world of semi-fiction calls you back. He got the idea soon after wrapping Closer to the Dream for doing something about an earthquake in Haiti. Tapping into that whole Paris je t'aime vibe, he came up with the vaguely autobiographical Ayiti mon Amour. Also, there's no shame in hitching your star to a more energized director like Thomas Lennon... and NO, not this Thomas Lennon. Geez Louise. We need more names. The name pool is getting too shallow.
But when you've got a small résumé like Guetty, you seem to be deciding whether to stick with the world of documentaries, or the world of film fiction. Which is probably why Michael Apted, for one, finds comfort in neither. Hunted, despised, shunned at the Port Angeles film festival, types like Apted really do have to build their own race of atomic supermen, to show the world of men and the world of Mother Nature that they can be its master. For Guetty, nothing less than a documentary about Obama would have to do... now, was Obama actually in the movie, or is it just file footage? Somehow I'm thinking the latter.
Nevertheless, when you've been to the mountain with a documentary such as Closer to the Dream, the world of semi-fiction calls you back. He got the idea soon after wrapping Closer to the Dream for doing something about an earthquake in Haiti. Tapping into that whole Paris je t'aime vibe, he came up with the vaguely autobiographical Ayiti mon Amour. Also, there's no shame in hitching your star to a more energized director like Thomas Lennon... and NO, not this Thomas Lennon. Geez Louise. We need more names. The name pool is getting too shallow.
There Is Much Joy in Shyamalanville.....
For mighty M. Night has hit another home run. I don't know if it's any good yet, but Split is #1 for a second week in a row. Prepare to lose your ad space, Variety! We all may never hear the end of it. And surely contract negotiations will start again for Season 3 of "Wayward Pines," n'est ce pas?
Oh, but look at me carrying on. Let's get to the debuts. Coming in second place this week, which does not bode well for our furry buddies in the animal kingdom, it's Marley and Me... no, wait, that was 2006.... and furthermore, it's an ampersand, not the word "and." Marley & Me. Gotta get that sh... stuff right. No, at #2 this week is Because of Winn-Dixie. Love that movie. No, no, that's not right either. No, at #2 is Benji the Hunted, the best of the Benji movies, as Jay Leno told us way back when.
No, sorry, that's wrong too... is it Lassie? Far from Home? Shiloh? Shiloh 2? Fluke? Milo and Otis? OLD YELLER???!!!!! The Shaggy Dog? Beethoven? The Ugly Dachshund? Marmaduke? Beverly Hills Chihuahua? Hotel for Dogs? "Benji, Zax & The Alien Prince"? Air Bud? Rock Dog? Dog Day Afternoon? Alpha Dog? Alpha and Omega?
I might be getting too far a'field here, maybe I should just go back to the original page... A Dog's Purpose! That's it! Whew. Exhausting. Boy, where's Cujo when you need him? All I know is, YouTube's going to the dogs... AND cats, I know. It's raining cats and dogs over there.
Meanwhile, our next debut is Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. All I know is, we're up to Final Fantasy 15, according to Wikipedia. Don't you just love those ironic titles? In this latest installment of the Resident Evil franchise, supermodel Milla Jovovich plays two roles: Alice, and someone named Alicia Marcus, which I'm assuming is if Alice became a mother in an alternate reality. Can't be an action babe forever, right? Even John McLane became a father in the Die Hard franchise!
And finally, our last debut this week is Ulee's Gold... I mean, Fool's Gold... I mean The Golden Child... I mean Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold... Goldfinger? Goldmember? The Golden Compass? The Treasure of the Sierra Madre? That was gold, right?
Goldengirl? Goldeneye (1989)? GoldenEye? Hellboy II: The Golden Army? St. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold? City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold? "The Goldbergs"? Clearly I've gone too far afield once again, let me just go back and check... Gold? That's it? Just Gold? Well, to be fair, it IS Matthew McConaughey. And it looks like Stephen Gaghan put down the nose candy for a while in order to direct this thing, so that should be applauded. Baby steps, people. It's all baby steps. We're all just doin' time here on planet Earth when you get right down to it.
Oh, but look at me carrying on. Let's get to the debuts. Coming in second place this week, which does not bode well for our furry buddies in the animal kingdom, it's Marley and Me... no, wait, that was 2006.... and furthermore, it's an ampersand, not the word "and." Marley & Me. Gotta get that sh... stuff right. No, at #2 this week is Because of Winn-Dixie. Love that movie. No, no, that's not right either. No, at #2 is Benji the Hunted, the best of the Benji movies, as Jay Leno told us way back when.
No, sorry, that's wrong too... is it Lassie? Far from Home? Shiloh? Shiloh 2? Fluke? Milo and Otis? OLD YELLER???!!!!! The Shaggy Dog? Beethoven? The Ugly Dachshund? Marmaduke? Beverly Hills Chihuahua? Hotel for Dogs? "Benji, Zax & The Alien Prince"? Air Bud? Rock Dog? Dog Day Afternoon? Alpha Dog? Alpha and Omega?
I might be getting too far a'field here, maybe I should just go back to the original page... A Dog's Purpose! That's it! Whew. Exhausting. Boy, where's Cujo when you need him? All I know is, YouTube's going to the dogs... AND cats, I know. It's raining cats and dogs over there.
Meanwhile, our next debut is Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. All I know is, we're up to Final Fantasy 15, according to Wikipedia. Don't you just love those ironic titles? In this latest installment of the Resident Evil franchise, supermodel Milla Jovovich plays two roles: Alice, and someone named Alicia Marcus, which I'm assuming is if Alice became a mother in an alternate reality. Can't be an action babe forever, right? Even John McLane became a father in the Die Hard franchise!
And finally, our last debut this week is Ulee's Gold... I mean, Fool's Gold... I mean The Golden Child... I mean Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold... Goldfinger? Goldmember? The Golden Compass? The Treasure of the Sierra Madre? That was gold, right?
Goldengirl? Goldeneye (1989)? GoldenEye? Hellboy II: The Golden Army? St. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold? City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold? "The Goldbergs"? Clearly I've gone too far afield once again, let me just go back and check... Gold? That's it? Just Gold? Well, to be fair, it IS Matthew McConaughey. And it looks like Stephen Gaghan put down the nose candy for a while in order to direct this thing, so that should be applauded. Baby steps, people. It's all baby steps. We're all just doin' time here on planet Earth when you get right down to it.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Auteur Watch - Safi Faye
For some, and probably not that many, filmmaking is a joyous experience, and they float from project to project, while all the rest in their wake do all the heavy worrying and lifting, and special effects nerds spend four years of their life grinding away on an eight-second special effect that, if you blink, you'll probably miss. That's where the sound guys come in, with visual cues to help you remember to wanna go back and check out what you missed by blinking.
For others, however, it's an uphill battle all the way. And just as Donald Drumpf knows that the American presidency is probably something worth trying to hang on to, so too do film directors know that trying to get to that rather plain-looking folding chair for said director is a worthwhile goal, even if the rest of your family doesn't agree with that logic at all. And no matter how much they mutter about getting out of the biz forever, they still wanna go for it with renewed vigor and passion.
And so, our next auteur, Senegalese triple threat Safi Faye, seems to fall into that pesky second category. And it would seem that Senegal is Africa's Hollywood, and to be out of Senegal is to be out of town.
Safi's cinematic journey began with something called Petit a Petit or Little by Little in English. Safi was bitten by the acting bug before the directing bug got a bite. And given that she plays a character in the movie named Safi, well... it's either the stars and planets lining up in grand coincidence style, or it's just extreme laziness on the part of the writer / director / cinematographer / caterer. Who does this guy or gal think he is? Peter Hyams? Mary Ann Bernard?
One taste of France, and it was right back to Senegal to begin the long director's journey. The first title to pass into obscurity was La Passante. It's not even at Scarecrow Video, for God's sake! After a long break to grouse about how cruel and unusual the business is, it was time for Kaddu Beykat with Assane Faye as Ngor, a young man... any relation, perhaps?
Having conquered the world of fiction, it was time to move on to the world of fact, which brings us to two documentary films and... well, if the IMDb won't tell me what they're about, where else am I supposed to go? Wikipedia? ... okay, Wikipedia it is. And to make matters worse, apparently her native Senegal has taken to banning her films rather than showing them. Well, screw that country. Probably better to live in Paris anyway.
1996 brought us so many great films, mostly The English Patient, but Safi was busy as well! She completed and released the strangely autobiographical Mossane with Alpha Diouf as.. Ngor?!!! Well, you can't keep a good name down. As for Safi, well... apparently, that was really, really it. She'd been thinking about getting off this celluloid merry-go-round for years, but this was finally the proper catalyst she was waiting for. Time to quit the best job in the world, and move on to the second best job in the world: single parent. And should their kid maybe someday see a movie camera lying around, or run across that old grainy VCR copy of La Passante or Mossane, well...
For others, however, it's an uphill battle all the way. And just as Donald Drumpf knows that the American presidency is probably something worth trying to hang on to, so too do film directors know that trying to get to that rather plain-looking folding chair for said director is a worthwhile goal, even if the rest of your family doesn't agree with that logic at all. And no matter how much they mutter about getting out of the biz forever, they still wanna go for it with renewed vigor and passion.
And so, our next auteur, Senegalese triple threat Safi Faye, seems to fall into that pesky second category. And it would seem that Senegal is Africa's Hollywood, and to be out of Senegal is to be out of town.
Safi's cinematic journey began with something called Petit a Petit or Little by Little in English. Safi was bitten by the acting bug before the directing bug got a bite. And given that she plays a character in the movie named Safi, well... it's either the stars and planets lining up in grand coincidence style, or it's just extreme laziness on the part of the writer / director / cinematographer / caterer. Who does this guy or gal think he is? Peter Hyams? Mary Ann Bernard?
One taste of France, and it was right back to Senegal to begin the long director's journey. The first title to pass into obscurity was La Passante. It's not even at Scarecrow Video, for God's sake! After a long break to grouse about how cruel and unusual the business is, it was time for Kaddu Beykat with Assane Faye as Ngor, a young man... any relation, perhaps?
Having conquered the world of fiction, it was time to move on to the world of fact, which brings us to two documentary films and... well, if the IMDb won't tell me what they're about, where else am I supposed to go? Wikipedia? ... okay, Wikipedia it is. And to make matters worse, apparently her native Senegal has taken to banning her films rather than showing them. Well, screw that country. Probably better to live in Paris anyway.
1996 brought us so many great films, mostly The English Patient, but Safi was busy as well! She completed and released the strangely autobiographical Mossane with Alpha Diouf as.. Ngor?!!! Well, you can't keep a good name down. As for Safi, well... apparently, that was really, really it. She'd been thinking about getting off this celluloid merry-go-round for years, but this was finally the proper catalyst she was waiting for. Time to quit the best job in the world, and move on to the second best job in the world: single parent. And should their kid maybe someday see a movie camera lying around, or run across that old grainy VCR copy of La Passante or Mossane, well...
Today We Say Goodbye to a Living Legend....
We here at The Movie Hooligan just don't understand it. America was looking fine just yesterday, and showed up as scheduled to the premiere of xXx: The Return of Xander Cage with that hot young Russian mail-order bride on its arm. But then they found this note, talking about depression, suicidal thoughts, and running off with this older, orange double-agent gentleman that's... apparently going to be their new president?
Yeah, fiction's fun. Now I'm growing as weary of The Facebook as the next Facebook user is (they still have "poke"s? Really? Seriously?), but guys! PUH-LEEZE! Whoever's putting up the money for this continued plague of fake obituaries... it's OVER! I, for one, have been mentally vaccinated against it already! The trend is finished trending! I get it! Fake obituaries are fun! Okay, okay, you can keep doing the Mark Wahlberg ones; maybe it'll motivate him to try doing more Oscar-worthy fare than his usual starring role.
Meanwhile, Agent Orange is now in the White House... let the resistance begin. For starters, I hope Sen. Schumer holds fast to his promise of keeping the Supreme Court at eight judges. You know, the Biden Rule and what not. I mean, hey! Maybe the Biden Rule can be applied to a Russian-sponsored American presidential election. I don't know, I'm not a political guy! You tell me! Also, it's nice to see smaller crowds at the inauguration. I mean, the one on the LEFT? Ick! Looks like my neighbour's awful gravel driveway! I don't wanna drive on that! Maybe there's a nail hiding in there, just waiting to make love to my car's tires. I'm already in hock up to my ... my neck! I wanna hold off buying new tires for a while, okay?
Anyway, let's get back to the real news. M. Night Shamalamadingdong is back where he belongs, back in Box Office Baby's arms. I understand that, just to be safe, his hometown in India just banned filmmaking as a hobby for all their town's residents. "Follow a path less destructive, ANYTHING! Become a child soldier, distribute anti-freedom propaganda, poison the water well... anything. Bring pride back to our once humble, normal village," the town elders purportedly said. But you can't argue with results, the kind of results that Will Smith was hoping for with After Earth. M. Night's #1 project is called Split, and apparently he bastardized that Hollywood project floating around from producer's desk to producer's desk, in mothballs for 20 years, that James Cameron and John Cusack were once attached to, about a dude with 23 personalities. M. Night's contribution? A 24th personality that decides to become a kidnapper. Genius. Not Drumpf-level genius, of course, nothing could even dream of becoming asymptotically close to that, but genius nonetheless.
Meanwhile, at #2, there's a new Xander Cage movie out. Vin Diesel's back in the role now, which I guess means Ice Cube's officially chopped liver... at least, for that role. Maybe he can do a sequel to Are We There Yet? Fill out the trilogy kind of deal, sell it at Costco, make another mint. Personally, I think Vin Diesel got confused and thought he was doing another Fast and Furious sequel, but its poor performance at the box office should be telling. Apparently, a Fast and Furious sequel is still a guaranteed #1 at the box office, and NBC is willing to put its full weight behind it, with MTV-style concerts in its honor. You know, just kinda casually getting the word out. Nothing serious, unless you want to fall out of favour with your cool, douchebag friends. It's a full-time job. Meantime, a dream deferred is a dream denied, every day Diesel doesn't get to work on his Cleopatra, an epic about Hannibal Barca... and with REAL elephants, not those bad, first-generation Jumanji animated ones!
There was one other debut this week, and that's The Founder, about McDonald's CEO Ray Kroc. It kinda figures that film director John Lee Hancock would want to be a part of this particular project. With projects under his belt like The Alamo and The Blind Side (yecch), what could be more American than a story about the Golden Asymptotes?... I mean Arches? It was released in time for this year's Oscar consideration... but I kinda hope it gets snubbed, if only a little. The Oscars like to pay tribute to the craftsmen and women of film, not their sponsors.
Yeah, fiction's fun. Now I'm growing as weary of The Facebook as the next Facebook user is (they still have "poke"s? Really? Seriously?), but guys! PUH-LEEZE! Whoever's putting up the money for this continued plague of fake obituaries... it's OVER! I, for one, have been mentally vaccinated against it already! The trend is finished trending! I get it! Fake obituaries are fun! Okay, okay, you can keep doing the Mark Wahlberg ones; maybe it'll motivate him to try doing more Oscar-worthy fare than his usual starring role.
Meanwhile, Agent Orange is now in the White House... let the resistance begin. For starters, I hope Sen. Schumer holds fast to his promise of keeping the Supreme Court at eight judges. You know, the Biden Rule and what not. I mean, hey! Maybe the Biden Rule can be applied to a Russian-sponsored American presidential election. I don't know, I'm not a political guy! You tell me! Also, it's nice to see smaller crowds at the inauguration. I mean, the one on the LEFT? Ick! Looks like my neighbour's awful gravel driveway! I don't wanna drive on that! Maybe there's a nail hiding in there, just waiting to make love to my car's tires. I'm already in hock up to my ... my neck! I wanna hold off buying new tires for a while, okay?
Anyway, let's get back to the real news. M. Night Shamalamadingdong is back where he belongs, back in Box Office Baby's arms. I understand that, just to be safe, his hometown in India just banned filmmaking as a hobby for all their town's residents. "Follow a path less destructive, ANYTHING! Become a child soldier, distribute anti-freedom propaganda, poison the water well... anything. Bring pride back to our once humble, normal village," the town elders purportedly said. But you can't argue with results, the kind of results that Will Smith was hoping for with After Earth. M. Night's #1 project is called Split, and apparently he bastardized that Hollywood project floating around from producer's desk to producer's desk, in mothballs for 20 years, that James Cameron and John Cusack were once attached to, about a dude with 23 personalities. M. Night's contribution? A 24th personality that decides to become a kidnapper. Genius. Not Drumpf-level genius, of course, nothing could even dream of becoming asymptotically close to that, but genius nonetheless.
Meanwhile, at #2, there's a new Xander Cage movie out. Vin Diesel's back in the role now, which I guess means Ice Cube's officially chopped liver... at least, for that role. Maybe he can do a sequel to Are We There Yet? Fill out the trilogy kind of deal, sell it at Costco, make another mint. Personally, I think Vin Diesel got confused and thought he was doing another Fast and Furious sequel, but its poor performance at the box office should be telling. Apparently, a Fast and Furious sequel is still a guaranteed #1 at the box office, and NBC is willing to put its full weight behind it, with MTV-style concerts in its honor. You know, just kinda casually getting the word out. Nothing serious, unless you want to fall out of favour with your cool, douchebag friends. It's a full-time job. Meantime, a dream deferred is a dream denied, every day Diesel doesn't get to work on his Cleopatra, an epic about Hannibal Barca... and with REAL elephants, not those bad, first-generation Jumanji animated ones!
There was one other debut this week, and that's The Founder, about McDonald's CEO Ray Kroc. It kinda figures that film director John Lee Hancock would want to be a part of this particular project. With projects under his belt like The Alamo and The Blind Side (yecch), what could be more American than a story about the Golden Asymptotes?... I mean Arches? It was released in time for this year's Oscar consideration... but I kinda hope it gets snubbed, if only a little. The Oscars like to pay tribute to the craftsmen and women of film, not their sponsors.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Auteur Watch - Kent Faulcon
There are actors who try their hand at directing, and say to themselves... nah, too much for me. That seems to be the case for our next auteur, Kent Faulcon. Faulcon, incidentally, is French for "falcon." And it probably has that weird accent under the c... what's that called again? (Use Alt-0231 for lowercase ç, Alt+0199 for uppercase Ç, BTW. I'm pretty sure we didn't call it a cedilla, but whatev'z) I guess when you work with Sam Mendes and Steven Soderbergh, you might get a little intimidated by the director's chair. I mean, for one thing, these guys are always on their feet! They don't even use the damn chair! Sodie's always on the crane with the camera for some reason, for one thing... damn, I double checked first. He was the dude at the beginning of Men in Black 1 who says "We're here because we're the best of the best of the BEST, sir!" I kinda remembered, I swear!
Hidden No More!
It's that time of the week to give my advertisers new space to peddle their completely legitimate wares... Anyway, A Star Wars Story has dropped in popularity sufficiently so that Hidden Figures could rise to #1 and stay there. Apparently, it also happened sometime last week during the recount, but I just... I can't keep track of all these things. I go by the original count. I mean, it's not like counting ballots for the president of the United States, is it? And don't forget! There's all sorts of other positions and initiatives and referendii being voted upon, in addition to the president. Here, it's just dollars! Or maybe just go by the number of tickets sold! How about that? Nah, not as fun. Gotta be in dollars. Probably. You know, invisible hand of the market and what not.
So let's just get back to the debuts. Why Him? is gone, Marge. Long gone. The first debut is a new horror pic called The Bye Bye Man. Our generation had Candyman, this one has this. So what heavy Hollywood hitters are at work here? Well, del Toro's go-to guy Doug Jones plays the titular character here... doesn't hurt. Meanwhile, that Matrix actress gal Carrie-Anne Moss plays a detective here... who's also a single mother. Damn it! Damn you, Hollywood typecasting! Anyway, the point being, you'll never look at the phrase "bye bye" the same way again. That's just how into your head this film will get. Well, still better than when "buh bye" got into my head in 1995. Different time back then. This was when "Saturday Night Live" was in turmoil, and people were threatening to boycott if certain sketches were done a third time. I tell you darlings, you really can't buy that kind of negative publicity. You really, really can't.
The next debut is the next collaboration between uber-manly director Peter Berg and uber-manly leading man Marky Mark Wahlberg... and it's here. Because sometimes, even David O. Russell needs to work with new people. It's about that 2013 Boston marathon bombing, and... you see? Even the most horrible of clouds has a silver lining! We get this great, great movie out of the deal! Maybe terrorist acts ain't so bad after all!
Our next debut is for those who can't wait for Real Steel 2... okay, it hasn't come out yet, as of this writing. Mostly due to lack of interest. Hard to believe the first one came out! But you know how it is. Hugh Jackman didn't have an X-Men cameo on the horizon, he had three months to spare, and his agent said "Zemeckis has a project where you spend three months in a garage, and in front of green screens." Who's going to turn that down? Anyway, the Scrat guy got a similar notion, and decided to take trucks of the monster variety, and combine it with... that's right, an actual monster. It's like E.T., only way cooler, and way more 2017. It's called Monster Trucks and... well, I tell you this. I actually work in redneck territory and, while I didn't talk to any of them for any length of time, they weren't talking about this movie. Somehow they always know.
The next debut is called Sleepless... and no, not in Seattle. No, this was filmed in Vegas and Atlanta, or so it would seem. Besides, as Nora Ephron often said, New York rules, Seattle drools. All I know is that this Michelle Monaghan is defeating herself at the box office this week, with this one and the Marky Mark film she's also in. Oh, don't kid yourself, people. She's big. She's the new Maura Tierney, she is. The name Monaghan will echo through eternity because of Michelle, and also because it's already echoing to an extent, but we'll surely be talking about it some more as time marches on.
And finally,... oh, that's the last one. Pee Pee Party 2017!
So let's just get back to the debuts. Why Him? is gone, Marge. Long gone. The first debut is a new horror pic called The Bye Bye Man. Our generation had Candyman, this one has this. So what heavy Hollywood hitters are at work here? Well, del Toro's go-to guy Doug Jones plays the titular character here... doesn't hurt. Meanwhile, that Matrix actress gal Carrie-Anne Moss plays a detective here... who's also a single mother. Damn it! Damn you, Hollywood typecasting! Anyway, the point being, you'll never look at the phrase "bye bye" the same way again. That's just how into your head this film will get. Well, still better than when "buh bye" got into my head in 1995. Different time back then. This was when "Saturday Night Live" was in turmoil, and people were threatening to boycott if certain sketches were done a third time. I tell you darlings, you really can't buy that kind of negative publicity. You really, really can't.
The next debut is the next collaboration between uber-manly director Peter Berg and uber-manly leading man Marky Mark Wahlberg... and it's here. Because sometimes, even David O. Russell needs to work with new people. It's about that 2013 Boston marathon bombing, and... you see? Even the most horrible of clouds has a silver lining! We get this great, great movie out of the deal! Maybe terrorist acts ain't so bad after all!
Our next debut is for those who can't wait for Real Steel 2... okay, it hasn't come out yet, as of this writing. Mostly due to lack of interest. Hard to believe the first one came out! But you know how it is. Hugh Jackman didn't have an X-Men cameo on the horizon, he had three months to spare, and his agent said "Zemeckis has a project where you spend three months in a garage, and in front of green screens." Who's going to turn that down? Anyway, the Scrat guy got a similar notion, and decided to take trucks of the monster variety, and combine it with... that's right, an actual monster. It's like E.T., only way cooler, and way more 2017. It's called Monster Trucks and... well, I tell you this. I actually work in redneck territory and, while I didn't talk to any of them for any length of time, they weren't talking about this movie. Somehow they always know.
The next debut is called Sleepless... and no, not in Seattle. No, this was filmed in Vegas and Atlanta, or so it would seem. Besides, as Nora Ephron often said, New York rules, Seattle drools. All I know is that this Michelle Monaghan is defeating herself at the box office this week, with this one and the Marky Mark film she's also in. Oh, don't kid yourself, people. She's big. She's the new Maura Tierney, she is. The name Monaghan will echo through eternity because of Michelle, and also because it's already echoing to an extent, but we'll surely be talking about it some more as time marches on.
And finally,... oh, that's the last one. Pee Pee Party 2017!
Sunday, January 08, 2017
Auteur Watch - Leslie D. Farrell
Students of filmmaking, take note. Our next auteur, Leslie Farrell, is an example of the evolving of an artist. When you're young and idealistic and just starting out, you try things like his 1995 effort, "America's War on Poverty." (spoiler alert: poverty makes out okay after the ceasefire was negotiated) Well, 1995 was indeed a different time. People were trying to care about social issues, Windows 95 was just hitting, and even the manliest of men were, um... experimenting. Well, hey, if there's one thing men and women can agree on, it's mascara.
Anyway, after conquering poverty, it was time to climb a little higher up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs... love that thing. So let's say, with poverty conquered, that's mastering the "Safety" and "Physiological" rungs of the pyramid, so to speak. Now it's time to move on to self-actualization. Personally, I think it's out of order. I think it should be self-actualization, then esteem, then love/belonging. But who knows? People can spend their whole lives trying to figure out the love/belonging part, as many of Hollywood's finest rom-coms can attest. Seems like the best of douchebags and a-holes figure out the esteem and self-actualization just fine, and quite early on.
And so, after poverty, we get a celebration of the physical form, and the perfection of it through the building of muscles. And so it was time to explore the journey of the African-American athlete... incidentally, that's the title of the result. "The Journey of the African-American Athlete." Coincidence? The hasty follow-up was the more general "Sports on the Silver Screen." I mean, hey, why waste perfectly good research? I mean, why do it?
After a small mini-vacation to help take care of the kids, and it's back to work. Blatantly riding the very long and epic coattails of Michael Bay's 2001 effort, Pearl Harbor, we get Farrell's "History Undercover: Road Map to Pearl Harbor." And if that title doesn't grab you, well... nothing will. I mean, look at that sh... stuff. You got road map, you got undercover... what could be more provocative?
And then, Dubya's second term came along. Something about it put us all in the mind of slavery, but Farrell actually did something about it, giving us "The Challenge of Freedom" and "Slavery and the Making of America." The dude's nothing if not prolific! But before Tyler Perry became the Grand Master of all things dramatic and funny, Farrell tried his hand at drama with something called "Miracle's Boys." I don't want to say that Leslie had a bad time making that, but... it was six years before his next project, so the bitter aftertaste must've been there a little bit. Li'l bit. Li'l tiny bit.
2012 brought us "Electoral Dysfunction," about four years too early, in my estimation. But let's face it: when you get into the Mo Rocca business... it must be a pretty bumpy ride, because he doesn't seem to go for high-profile collaborators. He clawed his way to the top of "The Daily Show," and he ain't going back down to the bottom. Not like Demetri Martin, no sir. While I have no idea what conclusions or takeaways or Teachable Moments (TM) all involved came away with from 2012's "Electoral Dysfunction," I'm sure it must've been funny, maybe mildly amusing. Not so much these days, where it's now referred to as "electile dysfunction." I mean, for God's sake! Chuck Woollery had to speak his mind about it on Fox and Friends! That's how desperate the times have gotten now! While we feel the need for greed, Woolery feels the need for exposure. We'll be back in two and two.
But producing's the thing. Producing is the new directing. The director manages all the resources and what not: cast, crew, caterers, has to make all the decisions, staying up all hours of the night until principal photography is complete, then editing begins. The producer's job is to tell the director to go faster, and don't make it suck. Simplicity itself. So what doesn't suck these days? Well, back in 1995, fighting poverty didn't suck. These days, it's apparently still time to revel in who's already got money. Hence, we get Farrell's production called "Millionaire Matchmaker." I guess there always was the bubble of the rich, but now more than ever it's fun. And sure, matchmaking can work for the rich as well as the poor. Take Otto During trying to woo Carrie Mathieson at the end of Season 5 of... sorry, spoiler alert. Now, some might find dating a covert CIA operative to be too much of a bad thrill ride: the irregular hours, the faking of deaths and what not, but Otto During? A guy like that could use a little excitement. He's seen too much bad stuff in the world, and could always use a better grade of intelligence, even if it's just ad hoc, like the average bits of intelligence gathered by the mainstream media. Anyway, sorry, poor people. You're either just going to have to stay poor, or maybe try to get yourself into that category of "extreme" poverty that the charitable organizations only care about now. Maybe try ranting and raving and walking into heavy traffic, stuff like that. But I gotta warn you! Maslow's not going to help you out, you see. As his Wikipedia page says, "the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy." Basically, what he's saying is, when you play with cripples, you start to limp... forgive me, "if" you play with cripples.
Anyway, after conquering poverty, it was time to climb a little higher up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs... love that thing. So let's say, with poverty conquered, that's mastering the "Safety" and "Physiological" rungs of the pyramid, so to speak. Now it's time to move on to self-actualization. Personally, I think it's out of order. I think it should be self-actualization, then esteem, then love/belonging. But who knows? People can spend their whole lives trying to figure out the love/belonging part, as many of Hollywood's finest rom-coms can attest. Seems like the best of douchebags and a-holes figure out the esteem and self-actualization just fine, and quite early on.
And so, after poverty, we get a celebration of the physical form, and the perfection of it through the building of muscles. And so it was time to explore the journey of the African-American athlete... incidentally, that's the title of the result. "The Journey of the African-American Athlete." Coincidence? The hasty follow-up was the more general "Sports on the Silver Screen." I mean, hey, why waste perfectly good research? I mean, why do it?
After a small mini-vacation to help take care of the kids, and it's back to work. Blatantly riding the very long and epic coattails of Michael Bay's 2001 effort, Pearl Harbor, we get Farrell's "History Undercover: Road Map to Pearl Harbor." And if that title doesn't grab you, well... nothing will. I mean, look at that sh... stuff. You got road map, you got undercover... what could be more provocative?
And then, Dubya's second term came along. Something about it put us all in the mind of slavery, but Farrell actually did something about it, giving us "The Challenge of Freedom" and "Slavery and the Making of America." The dude's nothing if not prolific! But before Tyler Perry became the Grand Master of all things dramatic and funny, Farrell tried his hand at drama with something called "Miracle's Boys." I don't want to say that Leslie had a bad time making that, but... it was six years before his next project, so the bitter aftertaste must've been there a little bit. Li'l bit. Li'l tiny bit.
2012 brought us "Electoral Dysfunction," about four years too early, in my estimation. But let's face it: when you get into the Mo Rocca business... it must be a pretty bumpy ride, because he doesn't seem to go for high-profile collaborators. He clawed his way to the top of "The Daily Show," and he ain't going back down to the bottom. Not like Demetri Martin, no sir. While I have no idea what conclusions or takeaways or Teachable Moments (TM) all involved came away with from 2012's "Electoral Dysfunction," I'm sure it must've been funny, maybe mildly amusing. Not so much these days, where it's now referred to as "electile dysfunction." I mean, for God's sake! Chuck Woollery had to speak his mind about it on Fox and Friends! That's how desperate the times have gotten now! While we feel the need for greed, Woolery feels the need for exposure. We'll be back in two and two.
But producing's the thing. Producing is the new directing. The director manages all the resources and what not: cast, crew, caterers, has to make all the decisions, staying up all hours of the night until principal photography is complete, then editing begins. The producer's job is to tell the director to go faster, and don't make it suck. Simplicity itself. So what doesn't suck these days? Well, back in 1995, fighting poverty didn't suck. These days, it's apparently still time to revel in who's already got money. Hence, we get Farrell's production called "Millionaire Matchmaker." I guess there always was the bubble of the rich, but now more than ever it's fun. And sure, matchmaking can work for the rich as well as the poor. Take Otto During trying to woo Carrie Mathieson at the end of Season 5 of... sorry, spoiler alert. Now, some might find dating a covert CIA operative to be too much of a bad thrill ride: the irregular hours, the faking of deaths and what not, but Otto During? A guy like that could use a little excitement. He's seen too much bad stuff in the world, and could always use a better grade of intelligence, even if it's just ad hoc, like the average bits of intelligence gathered by the mainstream media. Anyway, sorry, poor people. You're either just going to have to stay poor, or maybe try to get yourself into that category of "extreme" poverty that the charitable organizations only care about now. Maybe try ranting and raving and walking into heavy traffic, stuff like that. But I gotta warn you! Maslow's not going to help you out, you see. As his Wikipedia page says, "the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy." Basically, what he's saying is, when you play with cripples, you start to limp... forgive me, "if" you play with cripples.
Fuzzy Math
Sorry, folks, but clearly I've let you all down again. I coulda sworn that Hidden Figures, the #1 non-Star Wars-related movie this weekend at the box office, was going to be an HBO exclusive. I swore I saw it pop up as the alpha television watcher was browsing past icons on our new HDTV. But I finally caught the tail end of the publicity campaign: Kevin Costner and his chin-do on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Charlie Rose giving it a shout out and what not, what have you... actually, that was the extent of it. I haven't caught up on all the new Daily Shows this week, but someone was probably on there pushing... promoting it. Anyway, maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but... second Oscar for Octavia Spencer? Is that asking so much? Just think of her as the black Hilary Swank or something. Every five years, a new Oscar. I think it's only fair. That way, I don't have to change my blog post. Just think of it as finally getting her due for "Halfway Home." It was on Comedy Central!
The only other debut this week is the latest installment of the Underworld franchise... so somebody's happy about that. Debuting at #4, it's guaranteed future work for Kate Beckinsale, even though she kinda prefers the small, more prestigious projects she does in between the sequels. Ain't it always the way then? And I just want to give a brief shout out to Why Him? because it made one of the Top 10 Worst lists. It may still be quickly forgotten as a footnote in the careers of everyone involved, but for now they've got the critical anti-acclaim someone desperately was seeking. Drinks on me.
The only other debut this week is the latest installment of the Underworld franchise... so somebody's happy about that. Debuting at #4, it's guaranteed future work for Kate Beckinsale, even though she kinda prefers the small, more prestigious projects she does in between the sequels. Ain't it always the way then? And I just want to give a brief shout out to Why Him? because it made one of the Top 10 Worst lists. It may still be quickly forgotten as a footnote in the careers of everyone involved, but for now they've got the critical anti-acclaim someone desperately was seeking. Drinks on me.
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