Well, it's like the man says: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it." As timely today as it was twenty years ago. For example, there was a blurb on Yahoo! news about this painter who finally made it big with her painting of Angelina Jolie in the heavens just hovering over Wal-Mart. It's kinduva Rolling Stone / Vanity Fair kind of a deal that Annie Leibowitz might've concocted, but with a lower quality of heavenly lighting. Heavenly Lighting 1.0, if you will. You could read all about it on the painter's own blog, but you'll just have to find it yourself because frankly I have neither the time nor the ... well, frankly, I just don't care. Although I did hear that Ashlee Simpson, not to be outdone, is interested in doing a similar project which will be on the cover of Vanity Fair sometime next year.
Which brings us to this week's box office battle. For an unprecedented third week in a row, it's Night at the Museum, which must be some kind of vindication for producer Chris Columbus and his 1492 pictures (I don't get it...) The PG market is hot again! Fortunately he's at a point in his career where he doesn't have to direct his own mega-hits. Oh but let us not dwell on all this happiness; let us turn back the clock and see where the box office began...
This week it begins at #10 with the underdog story of this year, We Are Marshall. I guess everyone's already forgotten Invincible, and The Rookie is an even more distant memory. But Remember the Titans will always have a home on ABC Family, or whatever channel they are now. And Clash of the Titans was the best movie of the 60s animation explosion ever, right up there with "Frosty the Snowman" and all that other stuff... Where was I? Oh yeah, the Chad is rad!
At #9 it's Rocky Balboa, the other sports underdog story this week. Uh-oh! Someone wrote that it's "a heart-felt and meaningful end to the Rocky series" without writing Spoiler Alert!!! Drat. Anywho, you'd be hard pressed to find an online review that doesn't include the words "American institution" or "Grecian formula". But to get the word on the street, I generally rely on The Onion and The Village Voice myself, but the dude in the Village Voice had this to say, betwixt others of course: "Now Rocky VI equals Bush II: However bloody things get, the born fighter refuses to throw in the towel. " The only difference is, at least Rocky doesn't have an inner circle to take punches for him.
And speaking of inner circles, #8 gives us The Good Shepherd, the gift that keeps on giving. A friend of mine asked me "Who's the most sympathetic character in the movie?" And after giving it some thought I said the Angelina Jolie character, or as Jennifer Aniston calls her, Devil Woman. I like what one of the Extra / Access Hollywood shows said about Jolie, that Aniston couldn't overcome Jolie's "overpowering sexiness," and I think it was in relation to the whole Brad Pitt Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing even. Yes, even the least demonstrative reader of Maxim magazine can't help but look at Matt Damon and Angelina together, see Matt choose career over family, and think to themselves "He's gotta be gay, right? Gotta be, there's no rational explanation!" On the other hand, the couple's lipstick budget was pretty steep. Takes a pretty high-paying job to cover that kinda stuff.
#7 gives us the gift of Charlotte's Web. Nope, still don't care because #6 gives us N'Happily Ever After or ... I'm sorry, it's spelled Happily N'Ever After. I think it's supposed to help pave the way for Shrek 3. Or Hoodwinked 2. One or the other.
And so we've climbed up halfway up the mountain. Stay tuned for the other half. My bath water awaits!
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