Thursday, January 04, 2007

Oh, nice going, Focker!!!

Boy, I don't know. I know it's a new year and all, but it sure feels like an old year so far. I think Lewis Black predicted it correctly; if I remember, he said 2006 blew, and 2007's gonna blow too.
Ne'theless the box office tallies carry on, despite the terrorists' best efforts.
Nothing much new to report, lamentably. We'll just have to wait 'til February for anything new. At #10 it's The Holiday, and for Jude Law it's the Hard Place for the Rock that was Alfie. Man, talk about Irreconcilable Differences! Meanwhile, Eli Wallach longs for the colorful roles of The Good, Bad and Ugly, but is willing to settle for Tough Guys-style material.
Next, Happy Feet keeps on tapping at #9, and I STILL bet Spielberg wishes he was in on this one. In your face, VeggieTales!
At #8 it's We Are Marshall. It wasn't supposed to be a Box Office Underdog!!! Still, I can't wait to hear "And the Oscar goes to... McG! Best Director..." Why not?
At #7 it's Dragon... oh, wait, I misspelled it. Eragon. Hah! Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer's poo-poohing all these candidates for Bart's name, but finally seriously considers the name Bart: "Hmm! Bart, cart, dart, e-art... Nope! Nothing wrong with that!"
At #6 it's the last American hero, Rocky Balboa. But don't worry, folks. We got the new Rambo on the horizon, too. They're calling it... Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra. Oh, God! That's the one remake we don't need!... too late... Hmm! Time for Movie SAT 101: Sly vs. Ali G. There's Ali G., Borat and Bruno on the one side, and Rambo and Rocky on the other... so what's Sly's comparative Bruno? Tango of Tango and Cash? Just asking...

Whew! Halfway there...

At #5 it's The Good Shepherd. Eat it, Copland!
Clocking in at #4, Charlotte's Web is giving as good as it's getting. And what is it getting? A rather tepid reception from the forces of Secularia. They should've churched it up a little! I think the Bible belt is ready to welcome Dakota Fanning back into their very open arms. Do it for Reba! And screw you, Dixie Chicks!
Dreamgirls keeps swooning within the top 5, currently at #3. Why, Bill Condon must be in heaven! And the best part of it is, today's triumph makes up for all the past, especially Sister, Sister and Candyman 2. heh heh...
At #2 it's The Pursuit of Happy-Ness, or the way I prefer to think of it, Men in Black 2 and a half...
Anyway, Night at the Museum continues to enhance Ben Stiller's Box Office reputation (take that, Sandler!), and further buttress the legacy of Stiller & Meara. Man, I'm all hyper-linked out tonight. Anyway, I think I'll wait til it comes on HBO. I'm still smarting from Along Came Polly, me thinks.
Alright, that's it for this week. Hey, at least I got it done a little earlier than I usually do, right? :)

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