Short Reviews - December

Not a big fan of South Park, and just saw a little bit that reaffirmed my opinion. I will say the Crank Prank Timephone episode was almost Simpsons-quality stuff, but usually it's like the Smug episode. George Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech for Syriana appears in cloud form. The episode itself is an homage to Clooney's The Perfect Storm; the Simpsons just did an homage to that, too! Anyway, the town of South Park buys hybrid cars. They reduce smog levels, but increase smug(ness) levels. I guess the proper liberal response to this concept would have to be this: the science just isn't in on the effects of smug.

Ugly Betty - just won big at the Golden Globes. But that comes as no surprise to me. The title alone is award-worthy! Can the 100th episode be far behind?

The Messengers - These days, I just can't tell what looks scarier anymore: the PG-13 horror pictures, or the R horror pictures. In any case, this looks like a nice update to The Sixth Sense.

Stakeout 3 - Completely vanished without a trace. But there's always the middle school civics/ high school politics market to appeal to.

The Last King of Scotland - If I didn't see the commercial on TV telling me that Whitaker's performance was the best of the year, I never would've known! Seriously, though, I hope he wins the Oscar. An Oscar. Any Oscar!

Spider Man 3 - I don't know. I was a little underwhelmed by the trailer, actually. And what's with that Freddy Krueger-style meets Charlie Brown-lookin' sweatshirt on the Sandman dude?

Last Laugh '06 - Underwhelming compared to last year's extravaganza. Although I did appreciate their feature: "The biggest Tool of '06". And, based on an online vote, the winner of the Biggest Tool of '06 was ... George W. Bush? Really? Bigger than K-Fed? I don't think so. Worst president ever, but not necessarily the biggest tool of 06. They should've done the top 5 at least.

Notes on a Scandal - Cat figtht of the 21st Century! I think it's based on the 1998 Oscars...

Babel - Ah, even Cate herself can't keep track of all these mvoies she's in...

Alpha Dog - See Smokin' Aces.

Deck The Halls - DeVito's acting equivalent of his narration of ... Duplex! Just came to me...

Music and Lyrics - Haven't I seen this movie already?

Perfume - Dustin's still got it!

Idiocracy - Son of Sleeper.

Premonition - It's a lot like Groundhog Day, but with all the funny, entertaining parts cut out. It's the hot new way to add spice to an otherwise stagnant marriage, kinda like how certain right-wingers are trying to add spice to America's relationship with Christmas.

Undisputed 2 - My man is ripped!

Kissing a Fool - Really, I think we can all learn something from this movie. I only saw about five minutes of it, but before I did, I was a normal, clean, sober American. Now I've become a toothless meth addict! You can read all about it in my upcoming memoir...

And finally this cycle...

"Shooting Sizemore" - as long as Sizemore doesn't shoot anyone! Guess what, folks, that's the news and I am outta here...