Monday, April 09, 2007

New Game Show: How Naked is Too Naked?

Well, did I call it or did I call it? The free market has spoken, and it wants family entertainment, please! And something under 3 hours, if you can. We don't have as much free time as we used to. My prediction was a little rosier than I thought, though, as Grindhouse settled at #4 this week, instead of #2. Well, King Kong got off to a shakier start too, and now look where it is! ...oh, I thought it was in the top 250. Oh well. Still got LOTR up there, that's something. And Grindhouse is already at #108! Good job, guys. Sometimes that's better than the money.

And more importantly, they have the latest cover of Rolling Stone. Take that, Christina Aguilera! Man, how many times did she have to do the cover naked? I just wonder what Gloria Steinem makes of all this? Or Camille Paglia? or how about Susan Faludi? Maybe her wikipedia entry's a little more enlightening. The point being, Hustler's been doing covers like this til the cows come home, and what thanks do they get? Oh yeah, right...

So where were we? Well, The Lookout is still at #11 or higher, meaning lower box office. Somewhere French Stewart is stroking a voodoo doll... But at #10 it's Air Bud 6! Seriously, though, it's Firehouse Dog. Even they didn't expect it to break into the top 10. It was directed by Todd Holland. In case you're confused, Todd Phillips did Road Trip, Tom Holland did Fright Night, and Tom Noonan directed Wang Dang. hope that helps. Did I mention that their butts are touching?

At #9 the turtles hang strong, but they're about to, uh, crash. Dang! Forgotten my surf lingo already, which is some of what TMNT is all about. What's the opposite of cowabunga?

Shooter's at #8. Yawn. Might as well give a shout out to Fuqua. He's almost as busy as Robert Rodriguez! One pic a year. You go, bruthafriend.

Wild Hogs at #7, but it's #2 cumulative-wise, right behind 300. 300 is at #6, and it's got 50 million more than Wild Hogs. Hmmm... there's a math problem in there someplace, but I'm too tired to see it. In fact, I really should be getting to bed, but the Daily Show's got a new set! I gotta get used to this now. How long will that take?

And finally for now, Hilary Swank's still got it, with The Reaping at #5. Science can't explain it. ......... and faith can't control it. (whew) Well, science might eventually explain it! Give it some time, people. And like Esquire magazine sez, she's single again, guys! But remember: she's got two more Oscars than you. And like Esquire also sez, both those Oscars DON'T LIKE YOU. And further remember, Mendeleev was a Fag!

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