Friday, October 31, 2008

Auteur Watch - Tim Burton

Well, who better to celebrate on Halloween than Mr. Halloween himself, Tim Burton? His favorite decade? Gotta be the go-go 80s, but I'm sure even he wishes Michael Keaton would stop calling. Yeah, Beetle Juice and Pee Wee's Big Adventure, so many people to disavow knowing later on, but ol' Tim was lean and hungry and learning Disney's secrets so he could make a fortune in their shadows, thematically and literally.
And I guess I better leave Lisa Marie out of this as well. Anyway, the main thing is this rumor floating around about ol' Timmy boy directing Pirates 4. And since MTV's not going to clear this one up for us like they did with the whole Pink Floyd / Wizard of Oz thing, let me just deal with it by saying this: Tim! Don't do it! Three was enough! Unless you really, REALLY wanna go for it and put some kind of macabre R-rated spin on it, just keep going about your regular schedule. He's already got a full plate, folks! The feature-length version of Frankenweenie, Alice in Wonderland (that one's filming as we speak, so to speak), Dark Shadows ... Ooh! I didn't even get to the best part. My segues have been suffering lately. But those last two are also with Johnny Depp, as Pirates 4 would be. Which begs the question: I mean, it's a great collaboration between star and director, but is it up there with the great collaborations? Like James Stewart and Frank Capra? Or James Stewart and Henry Koster? I know, let's get a little more recent. Okay, ya little smartass. Soderbergh and Clooney, six if you don't count The Limey. Richard Donner and Mel Gibson? Six, soon to be seven. Woody Allen and Tony Roberts have worked together six times. Scorsese and DeNiro? Eight, soon to be nine. But really, they all pale in comparison to the greatest actor-director collaboration ever: Charles Bronson and J. Lee Thompson. Look at that resumé! Gather the whole family around, buy the 9 DVD pack from Costco, fire up some damn microwave popcorn, and enjoy! I gotta go....

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