Saturday, December 20, 2008

If the shoe fits...

Oh, man! Look at the President and his cat-like reflexes! This is the kind of thing he should be doing for a living, calling out insults from a dunk tank. Instead, there he is in Iraq for one last brief, spontaneous un-planned surprise visit. You know, they say having shoes thrown at you is a great insult in Iraq. And yes, I had the same reaction to that news as you: they're obviously far, far too civilized. If only we had illegally invaded a country where the ultimate insult is having fresh human feces thrown at you. Now, so far no one believes me, but I still firmly believe that if I were Dubya right now, just having had shoes thrown at me for the whole world to see, I'd HAVE to go back to Iraq to get it right. I mean, Iraq's his whole legacy! How is it going to look in the grand scheme of things on TV, with the liberal media constantly showing those same shoes getting thrown at me? That would just be bugging the hell out of me, as much as a splinter under a fingernail. I thought Iraq and I were friends!
Oh, but enough about him. About 30 days left and he'll physically be gone, even though the trail of destruction he's left behind will linger for years and years. Fortunately, the weekly business of tallying the Top 10 movies at the box office continues unabated! And as expected, the #1 this week is the big Keanu Reeves sci-fi special effects spectacle, Matrix 4. Also known as the remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic, The Day the Earth Stood Still. I'm waiting for them to remake the more campy 50s sci-fi classics like Them! or Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman. Get on it, Carpenter! Meantime, we'll just have to make do.

As for the rest of the second bests, well, it's really just the usual lot of stereotypical Christmas and/or Holiday movies. There's the stereotypical Christmas comedy, the stereotypical vampire-based chick flick, the stereotypical Pixar wannabe, albeit a little better than they usually are, the stereotypical James Michener - Louis L'Amour Out of Africa but with a different country sprawling epic, the stereotypical Bond pic... oh, wait, it's an actual Bond pic... Dinner time! Sorry, gotta go.

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