The High Hat's Triumphant Return

God, I love these Disney cartoons... oh, right, it's still Popeye's declining years.  What is it with these cartoon screenwriters always being such icon whores?  ...like it?  Icon whore.  It's a new catch phrase I'm trying to shop around.  Of course... boy, the web is so slow tonight!  What gives?... nope, they don't have it at urbandictionary.com yet.  Basically, it's someone who thinks in terms of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Elton John, Lady Gaga, Touré, what have you, and constantly uses the greatest single three words in the English language at the moment: epic, iconic and game changing.  And now, here's Popeye clinging to William Tell's coattails and overture.  Who's Popeye hanging with next?  Einstein?
Now, normally this would mean I have to study up on my history, but I don't have a lot of time this week, so I guess the William Tell mythology will just have to wait.  Needles to say, Popeye finds himself drawn into it.  One day, Popeye's just walking along, minding his own business, and apparently unaware of what century he now finds himself in.  We find William Tell, apparently before he made his bones as an icon of history, and he's just randomly shooting arrows at people.  Popeye gets caught in the crossfire and tries to fight back.  But alas, Popeye's run afoul of a guy even more egocentric than Popeye is.  Those baby blues!  That cute fat face!  How could you not get seduced by Mr. Tell?  And so, Popeye gets caught up in William Tell's current troubles, when Mr. Tell starts thumbing his nose at the local king.
Anyway, for reasons I'm not curious enough to look over again, Popeye pretends to be William Tell's son.  The angered king is familiar with Mr. Tell's archery skills, and therefore gets the usual perverse pleasure of pitting family members against one another.  If Tell can hit an apple off Popeye's.. I mean, his son's head, all will be forgiven.  Little surprise, but I guess I'll say SPOILER ALERT anyway, Popeye gets shot right in the heart... which by coincidence is being protected by a spinach can.  It's about the five minute mark, so it's spinach time.  Popeye saves the day, and William Tell gets to continue pretending with his surrogate son.  Meh indeed.

**1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan