Well, without running my stupid software, I'm going to say that your best shot at Spielberg is via the Nick Cannon connection. After all, Nick had that crucial scene in the Spielberg-produced Men in Black 2. Now, I know you're probably not wanting to swallow your pride and do that, but this is no time to be proud! Civilization's got about 20 odd years left before the ice caps are gone! Get what you can while you can. Carpe diem before God pulls the carpet out from under all of us. Almost makes me wish I knew more Latin.
...or, failing that, you could try Bacon! Randall Bacon, that is. He's in a movie called Dirty People with Richard Portnow. You might not get to Spielberg, but Portnow's pretty cool! Love his Facebook page; what a crazy nut... oh yeah, that's right! He was in Spike Lee's Oldboy! You could get to Spike that way... of course, Spike's kind of a jerk. Well, you have to be if you're a Spike Lee type, I guess. Showbiz, baby!