Sunday, May 24, 2015

A Little Bird Told Me..........

This is another one of those highly contentious weekends, with a lot of aggressive young saplings competing for a dwindling supply of rays of sunlight, none more so than George Clooney's latest, called Tomorrowland... or is it Disney's Tomorrowland?  Or does director and former Spielberg intern Brad Bird put enough of a stamp on this half-retro sci fi think piece / half Disneyland promo to call it his own?  Whatever the case may be, American audiences turned out in just enough droves to make it #1 its opening weekend, but Variety seems to think that the Disney execs were a bit disappointed.  Well, that's why economics used to be called the dismal science.  Now that Stephen Moore has clawed his way to the national spotlight, it's kind of an obnoxious science as well!  I thought dollars didn't care about political bias.  Let me put it this way: if the political parties produced their own chocolate bars, the Republicans in the upper echelons of the party would be eating Democratic chocolate bars, if only in secret.  They would say to each other, "I don't eat our chocolate bars.  Have you tried them?  They're terrible!  The cheapest grade of chocolate they can get.  No thank you.  And did you know that we put sawdust in them?  Sawdust, for God's sake!  Er, I wanted chocolate, not a piece of lumber.  Build my house with it, don't make me eat it.  No, let the idiots eat the Republican chocolate bars.  I'll buy them, of course, to drive the price up, to support the cause, but I'd prefer to eat the good stuff."
Meanwhile, in other debut news, the new Poltergeist debuts strong with... whatever.  This is another one of those weekends where the IMDb gets the news late.  So few things in this world left that you can depend on.  Is that so much to ask?  Is it so much to ask that I get up at noon on a Sunday, get on the web, and get my Top 10 fix from the IMDb?  Oh, speaking of Top 10, one of the last Top Ten lists on Letterman's little show was about the Muppets, and I think number 10 or number 9 was about how Grover is used as an oven mitt when he's not on the air.  Well, some people love the Muppets better than their relatives, a small minority of people really really hate them.
The point being, not all remakes are getting a hero's welcome.  So far I haven't heard any critical acclaim for the new Poltergeist.  But hey!  May this reboot not be cursed, like the original series seemed to be... it must be on Wikipedia somewhere, ask your grandparents.  On the other end of that spectrum, Mad Max: Fury Road continues to gain critical acclaim, as well as slowly inch its way into the black... making a profit, that is.  I mean, if you could only see my Facebook feed, folks.  Every other person asking "Is Mad Max: Fury Road the GREATEST action film of all time, EVER?"  First of all, in my attempt to be the most quotable curmudgeon of all time, whenever someone uses the phrase "No Time to Lose"... I mean, the phrase "of all time," I think to myself "Really?  All time?  Including Cretaceous and Devonian?" ... ask your nerdy friends. 
Okay, so they didn't have films back then.  Point taken.  But they say that the whole film was filmed practically, meaning without CGI and all that Pixar crap that seems to permeate everything these days... even this blog!  This font was personally done by James Lasseter.  Boo hoo hoo hoo... but then, I was watching one of the commercials for the movie, and there's that part with tornadoes and bolts of lightning in the background, and I couldn't help but think to myself, well... that looked a little Zelig'd in!  I mean, Gumped in... ask your parents.  Not to mention that ISN'T IT BASICALLY THE SAME MOVIE???!!!  ONE LONG-ASS CAR CHASE IN THE DESERT???!!!!!!  I just may have to sneak off to the theatre myself and figure this all out for myself. 
I think that's it for the debuts.  Maybe the film that just won the Palme D'Or came in tenth or something, but who cares about that?

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