Can ya believe it? Despite everything, I'm still at only 2% image storage capacity! ¶ Well, the homework's piling up again, so we'll just focus on the victor and the debuts at this week's box office.
And once again, it's Cloudy with a chance of... you know. It's like the Be-Sharps: funny the first time you hear it, then just annoying. You don't usually see a non-Pixar or non-PDI Pixar clone do this well... and as tempted as I am to check the archives to see if that's true, I just don't think I care that much. I'm pretty sure Hoodwinked was a #1 one-weeker, and Doogal, well... too depressing to contemplate. No, the hot young player on the scene, the kid in his dad's garage with a Cray supercomputer and a dream is Sony Imageworks. Or Sony Pictures Animation, whatever. Their Surf's Up didn't win the Best Animated Feature Oscar. Will Cloudy bring home the gold for them? I kinda hope not, but if this bad boy's #1 again, that just might change!
Okay, on to the debuts. We got three this week: Surrogates, Fame and Pandorum. No box. First of all, there's too many damn snarky lists these days, and you could probably find this one again better than I could, but I did agree with the list of action stars that are too old. I kinda thought Harrison Ford was too old way back when with Clear and Present Danger, but that's just me. Far be it from me to claim to be ahead of the curve, but this list had Surrogates at #1. Is Bruce Willis too old to be an action star? Personally, I think it was the hair. That awful blond wig he sports, or his surrogate sports. Terrible. Just terrible. Demi still doesn't want you back, pal. As for the writers/director of the film, well, what do you expect from the team that ruined Terminator 3? Success? Exactly.
And my faith in the theory about payola on these lists is stronger than ever. Any publicity is good publicity. They PAID to be #1 on the list of oldest action stars! Meanwhile, I haven't yet seen the list of the Top 25 Most Unnecessary Film Remakes, but I'm sure this week's Fame is up there, between #2 and #5. Well, while the critics be hatin' on it, almost as much as the movie-going public, I will say that the director certainly fits the material. Someone named Kevin Tancharoen. Hmm! Too late to put him in my alphabetical auteur list? ...yeah, too late. The names are already locked in. But his resumé seems to have prepared him for a watered-down remake of Fame. Shoulda made it more like the Pussycat Dolls special, pal. This all of course reaffirms my faith in the theory that MGM is sinking fast, and will have to auction off the Bond franchise to the highest bidder. How about Carolco?
And finally, Pandorum. Now, my good friend says he'll never see another movie with Dennis Quaid, but to be fair, I don't think that includes anything pre-2000. It might exclude stuff between 1987 and 1990, but other than that... where was I? Oh, right, Pandorum. Well, it's a bad time for R-rated sci-fi right now, so I say it's a victim of bad timing. Why, I bet even ol' what's his name couldn't of salvaged this! Also, I hate to nitpick, but the font they used in the TV commercials for the words "This Friday...". It's a cliché font, guys. Use another.