Short Reviews - October 2009

AKA The Year of the Wiig - I was going to say The Year of the Bateman. They've both had a good year. Jason Bateman's got 5 movies under his belt for 2009. Justine's so jealous! But Kristen's no slouch herself. She's got three live-action, one voice work, not to mention SNL and SNL Thursdays. And! And as a bonus, BOTH were in Extract playing husband and wife!
Personally, I think Wiig's playing too many deliberately strange characters on SNL, but maybe I'm being unfair. I finally stopped caring who was hosting the show. I used to pretty religiously check for that, but if Alec Baldwin were to do it again or Tom Hanks or Christopher Walken or... nah, I'm at the point where I'll let someone else tell me about how great it was. Besides! The last time Hanks hosted, he actually SAID that he came back because the show was respectable again! They're going through a similar phase of UN-respectability now. Oh, but there I go again on my own, going down the only road...

Law Abiding Citizen - Or is it The Year of the Butler? This is his third big movie this year, but is it the one we should care about? I think it's Gamer, personally...

Twilight: New Moon - Oh, the Dagoba chocolate company's missing out on a great opportunity. They already have bars named 'Eclipse' and 'New Moon'. Now they just need one called 'twilight' and 'breaking dawn' and they got the whole series covered! I suggest they change 'conacado' to twilight and xocolatl to breaking dawn. Piece of cake.

Saw VI - Somehow I don't think this will generate the same excitement that Zombieland has.

Whip It - When are Ellen Page and Haley Joel Osment going to do a movie together?

Edge of Darkness - I liked it the first time... when it was called Taken... Death Wish... what else?
It's about a Boston cop, which is why William Monahan is on board. Second Oscar coming up! It's directed by Martin Campbell, known mainly for James Bond movies and James Bond-esque movies, and movies with Stuart Wilson in it... oh, sorry, I guess there's just the three: No Escape, The Mask of Zorro and Vertical Limit.

Sh*t Year - But... you can't call a film that!

Inglorious Bastards - Oh, who cares. Standards are slipping everywhere.

Bastard Out of Carolina - Oh, please. Bastards are everywhere these days.

The Men Who Stare At Goats - Brought to you by LaLoo's Ice Cream

Bandidas - Penelope Cruz AND Salma Hayek as bank robbers? You mean, they already MADE the movie of my dreams and didn't TELL ME?!!!!! Of course, Rodriguez didn't make it, so it probably sucks.

The Fourth Kind - Comma Close Encounters Of?

Pirate Radio - From the geniuses that brought you Love Actually? I'm SO there!

Holy Matrimony (1943) - It's Cregar-ific!

Holy Matrimony (1994) - It's Gordon-Levitt-tastic!

Sorry, folks, I've been preoccupied this month. Hmm! All the hyperlinks are food related! I must be hongry or something...