Sunday, January 24, 2010

Auteur Watch - Leora Barish

Now we move on to... oh, crap. She shouldn't count! Well, I might as well put Tamar Hoffs on my list while I'm at it. No, Leora Barish is a chick and I've vowed to do all chicks this year. So far I can't tell if she's married to Henry Bean, but she might as well be seeing as how their career's have become intertwined. Well, you know how it is. Sometimes you just gotta cling to a lifeboat. Lemme explain. But let's also contemplate: which do you think is Leora's favorite decade? Is it the Golden Eighties? Oh she was young, dumb and full of ... positive feelings during the Me Decade. And, why, look! Her association with young Bean began in earnest already! But Desperately Seeking Susan was all her, baby. Take that! And once you've warmed your hands on the campfire that is Madonna, well, the rest of the world's just never quite the same after that, is it? At least back then, anyhow.
But then, the Me Decade came to an all-too abrupt end, the Berlin Wall came down, and it was time to care about crap like the "environment." Boo hoo. And all those young 80s filmmaker punks with mohawks had to grow up and do a movie with a slumming Morgan Fairchild, like Leora who CO-DIRECTED Venus Rising! Now I hate to pass hasty judgment, but how good can it be if one of the only 3 reviewers is MoviePoopShoot.com? Thank god Movie Hooligan wasn't taken! I was so close. Maybe I coulda gone with Movie Vomit Comet... nah, too cutesy. And so, Leora's lone wolf days were far behind her, and she had to defer to Henry Bean's obvious directing prowess. And who wouldn't be attracted to a guy who makes a film like The Believer, which some critics have called the closest thing to a good argument FOR Anti-Semitism. Yeah, thanks a lot, asshole. Keep up the good work, Mein Fuhrer! That must've gone to his head, because team Bean-ish thought they could do anything, like re-vitalize Basically It-Stinks 2... I love it! I love the Razzies.
So what will the 2010s bring? Is it the new 1968 all over again? Will we have to care for one another? More importantly, does Leora Barish have anything on the ol' plate? Not so far according to IMDb, but Henry Bean sure does! And that'll probably be more than she can handle anyway, so keep the hits coming, Team Bare-Bean!

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