Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Short Reviews - May 2011

Sympathy for Delicious - We've officially run out of movie titles

Thor - Damn! How many movies is Natalie Portman doing these days?!!!

Bad Teacher - I predict Oscar gold!

The Chosen One - Yes. Adam Sandler chose you, Rob.

Cry Macho - Schwarzenegger's Copland

X-Men: First Class - Renee Zellweger, meet Jennifer Lawrence

Priest - All right, Paul Bettany! We get it! You're leading man material! You sure could use a hit, though...

Everything Must Go - This is one of those films that a big star does now in between giant blockbusters. Just as long as it makes more money than Land of the Lost.

Highlander - The tragic tale of a being blessed with eternal life, but cursed with having to go through that life looking like Christopher Lambert. In this shallow culture of ours, what most of us would give to live even a mortal life looking like Lorenzo Lamas instead.

Booted - Poor Alan Ruck... I mean, poor Cameron Frye!

Hesher - Looks like Jo-Go-Lev as Don Logan

American Reunion - Stop, guys.

Melancholia - Lars Von Trier's just desperate for attention. He's not at Mel Gibson's level yet... then again, did you sit all the way through Dancer in the Dark?

Dreamcatcher - Ah, delusions of grandeur. Another metaphor for the Bush presidency: the good guys as kids see a bully attempting to feed a wimp a dog turd. The good kids say "We're going to tell the world, and everyone will know about this!" Something like that... and yet, no one was around to hear that turd fall in the forest.

Pink Flamingos - Now THAT'S how you git 'er done!

Presumed Innocent - This is what John Grisham novels THINK they are

Camelot - Richard Harris as Arthur... can't accept it

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