Saturday, March 29, 2014
Short Reviews - March 2014
"Mr. Selfridge" - As with anything that Jeremy Piven's involved in these days, I just gotta know one thing... is the character cool? I mean, I've been burned before. Don Ready wasn't too cool. Pritchard, well... he's no Dean Wormer.
Elizabethtown - Here I am, trying to play Candy Crunch, minding my own business, when I make the mistake of looking to the right at the various ads. One of them says "Paula did nothing wrong!" That's right, they're referring to Paula Deen. Well, let's see: she chose the wrong diet, she said the wrong things... other than that, I guess they're right. She may deserve one apology from Cameron Crowe, but that's about it.
Bee Season - I guess I wasn't in the mood for it for some reason. I mean, what next? The world "Rock Paper Scissors" championships in movie form?
Wordplay - A step down the slope...
Dom Hemingway - An ad on the Village Voice website declares "Jude Law as only Sienna Miller's seen him before!" Something like that.
The Railway Man - I hate to be cynical, but doesn't this sound a bit like The Bridge on the River Kwai?
The River Wild - ...why did I think of that title all of a sudden? I must be a racist.
Killer Workout - I prefer the title on the box... AEROBICIDE!!! Too confusing? Apparently. That's why you need the two titles.
You, Me and Dupree - They were showing this at the gym! At least, I seriously doubt it was One Night at McCool's, the only other film with Michael Douglas and Matt Dillon to date.
Booze & Bullets - I'm seriously hesitant to even acknowledge a "movie" that can't even be found on the IMDb, just like I never say "Tom Sizemore" into the mirror five times. Nevertheless, what can I say? I kinda liked it! Way more entertaining than Clerks 1. I hope we get to see this Floyd guy you hear so much about.
Ride Along - Shame on MTV, Ice Cube? Seriously? Really? The one channel along with E! that so doesn't know the meaning of the word? Besides, you should know already that the entertainment community has a thing about giving awards to the dead guy or gal. Just ask Harry Shearer in regards to the 2008 Grammys! I mean, George Carlin... who's that?
Fargo (2014) - Oh jeez, I dunno....... well, they've managed to make a template of the 1996 movie, but I hope the next few episodes don't get a whole lot darker than the first one!!!
Heaven is for Real - Oh Greg Kinnear.... this is the kind of thing you would've made fun of on "Best of the Worst".... isn't it?
Toast with the Gods - The gods must be crazy
The Goonies 2 - Apparently, it's official now. Well, good luck getting serious actor Josh Brolin involved! He'll probably need a 7 figure salary or something.
Disorganized Crime - Have William Russ and Steve Zahn ever done a movie together? And if not, why not?
Meet the Parents - Everybody's a comedian. Always with the comedy headlines. As for me, I'm just surprised she didn't file for bankruptcy sooner! I guess it's never a good time to do it.
Watching the Detectives - Even though he's now going to play young Fletch, I've always thought of Jason Sudeikis as the new Dan Aykroyd. Then I find out today that he and Olivia Wilde are having a baby! He's found his Donna Dixon!
The Amateurs - I think there are a few too many celebrities in this. Well, the film was originally titled 'The Moguls.' I guess 'The All-Celebrity Cast' would've been too vague in the wrong way.