Monday, August 16, 2010

Action Stars who look like Old Lesbians

Somehow I missed out on the majority of the ad campaign. There was a big ad campaign, wasn't there? They were thinking of calling this War 2, but somehow it was too over the top. The 80s are back in full swing with Sylvester Stallone's latest tale of BGBO, The Expendables. And fortunately for all parties involved, it's #1 at the box office this weekend. It's all well and good, but couldn't they take some kind of risk and have, say, Willem Dafoe as a gay FBI agent hot on the trail of all the carnage? Actually, it's international so he'd either have to be NSA or CIA. Too late, I'm already bored with it all.
Meanwhile, in 2nd place, it's an action movie for the chicks, Eat Pray Love. Who doesn't love a good aphorism? If she went on the Colbert Report way back when to push her book, he'd say "Eat Pray Love. Buy it, read it, live it!" Since the collective American IQ is still sliding down the slippery slope, let's hope the sequel includes something about brushing your teeth in there. Maybe "Eat Brush Floss." You know, something catchy like that.
The third debut this week is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Another wimpy kid trying to win the girl, how original. The Onion and The Village Voice probably enjoyed this film more than I did, but here's my question: why only seven ex-boyfriends? Why not eight or nine? Why not the whole basketball AND football teams? Or is that venturing too far into Flash Gordon territory? Actually, with the social mores being what they are today, seven ex-boyfriends is about three standard deviations below the mean... Guess I'm repeating myself. To the homework mobile!

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