Monday, March 20, 2006

Box Office Report, and Scientology vs. South Park

I'm not a big fan of South Park myself, but I'm in favor of anything that takes Scientology to task. Bowfinger did it, The Simpsons sorta did it with the Movementarians, who else? 1984?
Okay, let's take this week's box office to task. Welp, the War of Colors has a victor! Maybe true love does exist in the world after all, as Aquamarine bitch-slapped Resident Evil 2 1/2 off of the top 10. And with only 2.11 million dollars! What an anemic box office.
Coming in at #9, still the Cumulative Total champ, it's The Pink Panther. Remember it next year at Oscar time, folks! Madea 2 holding strong at #8; it's the 3rd biggest Cumulative total. Could Madea 3 be in the works? Is there any doubt?
At #7 it's Eight Below, the second biggest total money maker at 73 million total. How? I'm not up on my demographics, maybe it's the Tiger Beat crowd or something. All I know is, Paul Walker's critical success, Running Scared, ain't doing no biz! And that's a shame. But, that's the Hollywood game for you. Same thing happened to Reese Witherspoon last year. Her big Hollywood blockbuster was Walk the Line, while the small independent critical success was... what was it called? Just Like Heaven? Yeah, that's what it was. Boy, a lotta people are gonna be very disappointed when they find out the truth about the afterlife.
At #6 is 16 Blocks, which is also #6 in terms of most accumulated total overall. Need more be said? I think not. I'll wait for Sam and George, Richard. (And you'll have to wait for Apocalypto and Mad Max 4!!)
At #5 is another horror remake, The Hills Have Eyes. (#7 cumulative total) Well, Wes must be happy about that. I hear they're going to remake Vampire in Brooklyn. Not so happy about that. Still waiting on Paris, je t'aime, guys!!!
#4 is "All That" alumnus Amanda Bynes' latest, She's the Man. Not quite up to Lindsay Lohan's box office snuff, but then again, neither is she lately...
#3 is ... oh yeah, She's the Man is #10 cumulative wise! Weak, weak and double weak! But time will tell. At #3 is The Shaggy Dog. Is it a remake? Ah, who cares...
Hey! Long live The Wibberleys! They go where Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio fear to tread...
#2 brings us Failure to Launch, only 4th cumulative-wise but still going strong. Who's seeing this movie? I already tore it a new one by calling it How to lose a guy in 10 days II. No such plan is in the works, unless it's a direct-to-video release with French Stewart and Ashlee Simpson reprising the roles. Hey, gotta start somewhere!
Nevertheless, let's hear it for Tom Dey who managed to survive the bitter aftermath of Showtime (the movie, not the channel, which oddly enough seems only to be showing on HBO.... the channel, not the movie. ...?)

And finally, it's not V for Victory, although that certainly is appropriate, but rather V for Vendetta! To this victor go the spoils. And what spoils indeed! #1 at the office, albeit only #8 in the cumulative scheme of things. Well, it's not Spielberg we're talking about here. Disturbia? Sounds interesting. Maybe Joe Dante's slated to direct. ..nah, no such luck.

Man, did that take a lot of work! But in the end it's all worth it. :)

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