Saturday, April 15, 2006

Anchors Away (take 2)


Dang! My computer's wonking out on me again, as the Canadian-ese might say. But I'm going to persevere, nonetheless, because that's how dedicated I am to this g.d. blog. Why, I haven't even finished my taxes yet! And where's the glory in that, I ask you, loyal fan base? Clearly not as brilliantly shining as this is...
Anyway, enough of that. I lost my first draft but I think I can get most of it back, if not the essence of it, but only if I work quickly. I was noting that every once in a blue moon, somehow people's interest in the critical news of the Movie world is eclipsed by another lesser Sphere of Influence, and clearly this week that was the news of ... the News world! For example, Katie Couric is gaining attention by jumping the Today show ship and shanghai-ing the crew of the CBS Evening News, thereby ousting that current steward of Dan Rather's old chair, Bob Schieffer. Sorry, Bob, you're the Dick Gephardt of anchors now! (even I don't know what that means...)
And the aftershocks are being felt farther down the chain as you'd expect. Why, that hunky Rather look-alike John Roberts pulled a Morton Dean and skipped over to CNN! Oh man, TMI. (Too much Information!) Another Canadian import. Don't we have our own homegrown Dan Rather look-alikes? And Muchmusic? Canada's MTV? Well, there'll be plenty people who are more sore about that than I, so I won't hold that against 'im. Why, even Clooney's got things in his past, right? C'mon, fella, let's get cracking on Hail Caesar already! You got better things to do? I think not.
Guess that's about it for the anchors; of course, I don't know when this transaction took place: the hunky Bill Hemmer... maybe he got bumped by Roberts, but he's officially gone over to The Dark Side now. Many will enter, few will return unscathed, someone should've warned him about that. Why, you may ask? Because once you get in the hot tub with Roger Ailes, that's just how it is, let alone the rashes. I guess he was wise enough not to get his own show this time! I mean, how often can you ask people if they're Republican or not, and maintain the good ratings?
And so we wrap up our coverage of the news reporters, because when the news makes news, they cancel each other out.
Not much happening in the world of movies... still waiting on the summer blockbusters. What's Stephen Sommers up to, I wonder? Or Tom Shadyac, for that matter... maybe we'll do him next in Auteur Watch. This Accepted thing grabbed my fancy briefly when Tom described the premise, but these GRQ (Get Rich Quick) schemes only seem to work out for those who do it first, and thoroughly.
Better wrap this up. The computer's making that telltale clicking noise again!!! So long, hard drive! :(

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