Thursday, April 20, 2006

Big Box Office BOOYAH!

Well, we've waited long enough and if it's not too late, it's time for box office analysis! At #10, V for Vendetta clings on with fingernails. Not much new to report about this flick; it's currently #191 in the IMDb Top 250, but I would like to give a Shout Out to my man Adrian Biddle (ASC & BSC?), who unfortunately passed away just after this movie. He brought us such super flicks as The Princess Bride, Willow and ... City Slickers 2? Moving on...
Boy, I just can't do this while the TV's on! Nader's on The Colbert Report. He's better when he's not running for President. Ooh, Stephen zinged him good! "The book is called 'The Good Fight', I don't know if he's fighting it..."
Coming in at #9 it's FTL in the hood with 2.61 mill of bling bling, baby! It's the 2nd biggest cumulative-wise with 83.2 mill. Oh, so close to cracking 100, maybe they'll leave it on just until MI3 comes to town, all barrels a-blazing; speaking of Donald Petrie Jr., his latest with Lindsay Lohan's coming out soon. Rather than a body-switching movie, it's a body attribute-switching movie! How original! Must bow down to all Lohan-Delivery Devices.
#8 brings us Thank You For Smoking. Having inhaled #4.49 mill this week, for 11.5 total; alas, it's only 9th overall. But don't worry. Buckley's donating all the profits to the Kool group.
At #7 it's Lucky Number Slevin! How appropriate! Hartnett, ask not for whom the bell tolls... That's all I'm gonna say.
#6 re-gifts us with (The) Inside Man. Oh, c'mon, Spike! Look at that Exxon dude that just retired with a platinum parachute in a golden parachute cover. Crime doesn't pay, oil does! Well, oil and the movies, and at #3 cumulative overall you gotta be sitting a little pretty for your next coupla pics, no?
Okay, moving on. #5 is Take the Lead with #6.78 mill. How numberical! 22.6 overall, #7 cumulative. Liz finally made it out of Music Video Hell! Kudos, but don't worry, she won't stay too far away.
Debuting at #4 it's Madagascar 2... I mean, The Wild (!0th cumulative!!) with 9.68 mill. IMDb doesn't have any business info, and frankly, I don't wanna know how much this is gonna lose!
At #3, holding strong, it's The Benchwarmers. If I remember correctly, of all the Happy Madison productions, The Animal performed similarly well at the B.O. And yet, despite all the DB2 hoopla there's STILL no Animal sequel in the works!
At #2 IA2 is still kicking some serious Box Office Keister at the Box Office. With the current #1 cumulative total, a massive 147 million, everyone at Blue Sky Studios can afford a shiny new Lamborghini! Yessir, someday, decades from now it'll be the Big Three: Pix-har, Blue Sky and Big Idea. Right around that time the next Stan Brakhage will come along and maybe put digital video on the map.
And finally, good Lord, we get to the last. Debuting fairly strong at #1 it's Mad Magazine - The Motion Picture. Seriously, though, it's Scary Movie 4, or as it's known in the biz: Scary Movie 3 Part Deux. But the important thing is that all the writers of SM1 and SM2 STILL get credit! Craig Bierko ... boy, I hope that's my anti-virus program updating. Craig Bierko joins the proceedings, as does Chris Elliott, although he doesn't revive his role as Hanson from SM2. Incidentally, what's Keenan Ivory been up to lately? I'm Still Gonna Git You, Sucka? Most Wanted 2? What's that? Homey the Clown finally getting green-lit? No h'way! Take that, Phantom! Better release ILC DVD's a couple weeks before the big day, though. By the way, you can also see Carmen Electra in Dirty Love, now playing on a shelf at a Best Buy near you, and I think the makers of ALL the Scary Movie movies would agree, it's way better than any of 'em. I just wonder if it was that one movie that Pamela Anderson almost went to the big house over. :)

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