Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Chris Farley, and 9/11 Goes to the Movies

I think we've found the new Adrian Lyne! And it's Paul Greengrass with his latest Easter turkey, United 93. No, it's not a sequel to Passenger 57, it's about the big one, this generation's December 7th: September 11th, my friends. Oh, but 9/11 movies are so like Lay's potato chips; Hollywood can't produce just one. And that's why Oliver Stone, who hasn't had a scare of concurrency like this since the Alexander Wars... (it's gone now, but Baz Luhrmann briefly had planned on a movie starring Leonardo di Caprio, I assume as Alexander. Apparently, Romeo + Juliet didn't do that well to justify the Casting Callback. Too baz, Bad! heh heh...) where was I? Oh yeah, so Stone's got a 9/11 movie as well. Oh, I hope it's partisan and stilted! With cameos by Anthony Hopkins and Val Kilmer. Lemme guess, the Dutch were really behind 9/11, right? Can Joe Pesci play Dutch? The leap from al-Qaeda to Iraq is nothing if not an enigma wrapped in a riddle...
In other news, Chris Farley does a new billboard that says "It wasn't all his fault." Unfortunately, it's not a Public Service ad for sobriety, but for some kind of ... sobriety pill? I was as big a fan of Farley as you'd find, but I don't think he was into seeking treatment! Besides, do we really need something that gives people the ability to take MORE illegal drugs? I'm talking to you, Chaser Online!
Never mind, I thought they had an official website.
In other movie news, the MTV Dance Show Movie Continuum continues unabated with the latest entry, Take the Lead. Since time immemorial, all them movies like Take the Hint, Honey (Oops! Sorry, Jessica. First Playboy, now this!) and ... what else? I don't know. Too many. Oh yeah, You Got Served! Another one. Another one to watch.
What else? While the saturation bombing campaign for Thank You for Smoking continues, I fear that movies like The Sentinel will fall through the cracks. So, back to the other one: I remembered that Buckley guy was on The Colbert Report flogging his little book! I don't think he even said it was now a major motion picture, which may be to his credit on the one hand, but on the other I don't think he'll be happy with the translation from page to screen: the liberals in the picture do entirely too much talking!
And now SM4 is on the horizon, and it's ready to clean up at the Box Office. But it'd help to have some kind of scene to grab audiences, like Michael Jackson from SM3. Leslie Nielsen shirtless is a start, but listen to the focus groups for other signs!
Why, I haven't even gotten to Pepper Dennis yet! But then, who has? :)

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