Auteur Watch - Lori Petty

I gotta tread lightly here. I get the feeling that if I'm too harsh on Tank Girl here, I'll hear from her personally. But what's not to like? Seriously? I can't find that one image from Point Break in time, but I think you all know the one I mean... she and Keanu are in bed, the overhead shot. No wonder that Kathryn Bigelow won best director! Somehow seems a cruel fate, though, that the nerdy girl from Tank Girl is now playing Valerie Plame. Just shows to go you... reminds me! Didn't Sandra Bullock play the nerdy girl at least once? ...yup! Gave her the works: glasses, buck teeth, everything. Well, they always get glasses but not necessarily buck teeth! Oh, and Lori was also in A League of Their Own, for all the good it did her. And so, she looked at all the hacks who are already directors: Penny Marshall, Rachel Talalalalalalalalay, and she thought to herself: well, hell, how hard is that? Plenty, apparently, as she's only directed the big two: Horrible Accident... lemme guess, a short film? And The Poker House. Now you would think, it being co-written by funny man David Alan Grier, that it's a comedy, but then you check out the MPAA rating and you see "Rated R for language, and disturbing content involving a minor including rape, sexual content and drug/alcohol abuse"... yeah, it's a comedy. Good double bill with... what else? World's Greatest Dad comes to mind. Not too many prestigious organizations reviewed it, but you know why? Because they're jealous, and pretty girls kick ass, and they know it. Something like that. Damn, I'm turning so simple.

Update: Speaking of simple, here's a link to earlier, happier days...

Another son of a bitchin' blackout!

If this were my power company, it never would've happened... nobody? Well, never mind then! I'm not even going to put up the hyperlink for it! Oh, so far behind again, but at least I'm getting an earlier start this week. Oh, I put up that image because I went through a bad power outage yesterday. Not that I'm going to do anything about it, of course. Solar panels? My own wind turbine? Shyeah, right. Who's got the time or the money?
Anyway, back to more important matters. The debuts this week are: Unstoppable, Skyline and Morning Glory. Oh, good. Skyline gives me another sibling pair to profile for next year. Only got six left to have all 52 weeks covered... sort of. Wasn't someone saying something about how Harrison Ford gets all the scripts in Hollywood? That might change after this...

Auteur Watch - Jocelyn Moorhouse

Is that Michael Shannon's twin sister? No! It's our latest auteur, Jocelyn Moorhouse. She was a little late to the big Aussie Wave of the 80s, but she just shows to go you that you can never keep quality down! Cream still rises to the top? My smart friends tell me otherwise. Starting with her student film debut in 1983, Pavane, she decided to backpack through Europe for the next 8 years until her TV debut with The Flying Nun... Doctors. And then, it was time to take center Australia's stage with 1991's Proof with future megastars Agent Smith and Maximus Anti-Paparazzius. They, of course, have yet to return the favour, the basterds.
Moorhouse made her American film debut during the 90s feminist wave with How To Make an American Quilt, her combination of The Crow and... let's say, Beaches. That just barely crossed the box office finish line, allowing her to do a second film. It was A Thousand Acres, give or take a few. She'd be writing more in a year or two. I guess she got fed up with the biz and retired early or something. Seems like that doesn't happen as often anymore. Too much at stake nowadays.

Who wants Box Office Loaf?

Oh, I'm on it this week. It's been a while since I did an image with a bunch of other images all smooshed together, but somehow this week it's appropriate, especially since Tyler Perry's fall 2010 entry has FINALLY showed up! What's the deal, dude? Why keep us waiting like that? Last year, September 11th: I Can Do Bad All By Myself lands at #1. The people were ready to laugh and cry and feel in equal amounts, and laugh / cry / feel they did in droves. You blew it, man!
Anyway, the big 'news' this week: DreamWorks does it again, big surprise. They're like Tyler Perry now too, apparently. Their spring hit was that Dragon thing, and now that it's out on video here comes Megamind. Time to roll out the Will Ferrell slogans! Genius, funny, LMAO, you know the drill. I mean, how can the man NOT be funny? When he played the homeless nude model on SNL (Lucy Lawless!), he made you laugh, then cry, then laugh again. But how many of you contributed to Southern Poverty Law Center after that bit? Egg-zactly. And Tina Fey's along for the ride as well. Same deal: genius, funny, LMAO. But she hasn't forgotten her roots: she still fights the good fight and brings the pain to everyone from Playboy to Victoria's Secret with her unisex calendar on the most recent Night of Too Many Stars. And, for the ladies, Jonah Hill. Admit it, gals, you secretly want a hefty guy, no? Dating the vain bodybuilder gets old after a while, or so I've heard.
At #2, the road trip movie's bourne anew. From the director of 2000's Road Trip comes Due Date. And don't kid yourself: you may think director Todd Phillips has grown up and lost touch with his audience, but it doesn't explain the success of The Hangover or the current filming of The Hangover Part Two. Mel Gibson or no, all involved are here to stay. Maybe Downey Jr. could fill in for Mel! Would that be an act of betrayal? Speaking of Mel Gibson, if he came out with a film called For Colored Girls, well... can you imagine the $#!tstorm that would follow it? Can you, Dr. Laura? Of course, it would be in Aramaic so no one would understand it. But it's Tyler Perry, so all is forgiven. They say he's been writing plays since he was 18, but to me it seems like he wrote ALL his plays when he was 18 and have just now been turning them all into movies. Don't get me wrong, the man does have a sense of showmanship. That Madea keeps current, don't kid yourself! One hand on the Bible, the other with a copy of Jet Magazine... something like that. And his troupe of actors is ever expanding! Janet Jackson, Thandie Newton, Phylicia Rashad, WHOOPI GOLDBERG! A veritable Who's Who. Victory will only be complete when Denzel stops by, or maybe even Sidney Poitier. This one probably could've used a little more Madea and a little less Precious, but he's going out on a limb this time, you gotta give him mad props for that. And farming out the writing this time; good move.

Short Reviews - October 2010

Yo STEW-BEEF!!
Damn. I was digitizing an old Premiere magazine from, like, 12 years ago, and it had this catchy article about the top 300 stars of today that'll last forever... something like that. And so, let's go through the list.

Ewan MacGregor: check.
Kate Winslet: check.
Paul Thomas Anderson: check.
Freddie Prinze Jr.: ouch.
brandy norwood... who?
norman reedus... who?
natalie portman: check.
Adrien brody: check.
Aaron Eckhart: check.
Will Smith: And how!
Charlize Theron: check.
Andrew Niccol: who?
Jennifer Lopez: oh, please. What was that piece of crap she was in this year? Bound for Glory? When in Rome?... The Back-Up Plan! That's it!
Wes Anderson: yeah
Sarah Polley: oh, don't be so mean to Josephine!
Edward Norton: check.
Youki Kudoh: who?
Leo DiCaprio: check.
Isaiah Washington:... oh, wait, that's just the next article. Never mind.


Burlesque - It is beautiful, no matter what the critics say. Bad reviews can't bring it down, oh no...

Life as We Know It - Yeah, we already know about how awful changing a diaper can be!!

Buried - Ryan Reynolds buried alive. What's not to like?

Secretariat - Will Success Spoil Randall Wallace?

It's Kind of a Funny Story - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Oliver Stone's Wild Palms - Good thing I was scanning my old 1993 Variety magazine. Otherwise, I never would've heard of it!

Zoolander 2? - Oh yeah, it needs a question mark.

Police Academy: Mission To Moscow - Interesting cast, actually. Claire Forlani? Ken Davitian? (Borat) ... as Curly might say, I STILL say it's him!

Red Dragon - Just reading my Universal DVD Showcase email newsletter. Universal's buying up MGM too? Kewl. Why not?

The Dark Knight Rises - It WON'T be shot in 3D, and the Riddler WON'T be in it, according to director Chris Nolan... in another surprise announcement, Nolan has just been replaced as director by... let's say, Marc Webb or that bastard Walt Becker.

Love & Other Drugs - Your love, your love, your love... is my drug

When In Rome - Saw about the first two minutes of it. Everybody should have a trident of fawning nerds to look after you at all times! Well, it might get annoying after a while, to be sure.

Monsters - I love you Gareth Edwards!

Monsters, Inc. - I love you Mike Lebowski!

Auteur Watch - Elaine May

If you can't get something for the girl who already has everything, what do you get the girl with something like Ishtar on her resumé? Ouch. Of course, a nut like me has a special place in his heart for Ishtar... at least, the first thirty minutes of it before it makes that big creaky left turn into Hope/Crosbyville, as Maltin puts it. Being the girl half of the Nichols and May duo from the early... 60s? Doesn't she get to direct, too? She did her own Graduate which decidedly wasn't as good, but is it not worthy of a remake? Oh, right... But she did learn harsh lessons about Hollywood when working on A New Leaf, and that is: Paramount reserves the right to cut your film in half. If it's a 3 hour epic, too bad! And apparently Robert Evans is responsible! Naughty boy. But he is a handsome man, so he must be forgiven immediately, if not right away. But not for Kid Notorious. It was awful. Now available on DVD with commentary!
But after something like Ishtar, it's best to take a little break, and break she did. Back to work for Nichols, resulting in the screenplays for The Birdcage and Primary Colors. Apparently, the Joe Klein Curse and the Ishtar Curse were too much for even her to handle, as the trail goes cold after that. A toast to Elaine May's emeritus years!!!!!

Ho hum, another Halloween B.Off.

Greetings, my 8 followers! Oh, I'm so behind again. Well, things come up, and I have a thing for this Tetris Battle game on Facebook. Better watch out, though: I get the feeling it's a hacker's paradise. Had to change my FB password... I know, big shocker, right? I've only had to change mine about three times now, fortunately, so I'm new to all this.
Anyway, on to this week's box office. Speaking of new to all this, apparently it's the last Saw movie at #1. Oh, but it's the first one in 3D! They can't quit now! 3D makes everything seem fresh and new, just like HD sorta does. Footloose is still the same, though. Saw some of that this week. Meanwhile, do you realize that Malkovich has TWO movies in the Top 10? Red and Secretariat! One of which falls in line with the Bohemian Manifesto's philosophy. I can't see them liking Red... I mean, Secretariat. Frankly, both. Clint Eastwood goes slumming on CBS Sunday to plug his latest, Hereafter. He just doesn't get it. American audiences don't go for the art house movies anymore, if they ever did. Gran Torino 2! That's what they want! He was just hurt REAL BAD, but he's back with a new pickup and one of those new Mustangs that doesn't look as classic. Maybe he should get a Tesla Roadster. The only other debut this week is Conviction, directed by Tony Goldwyn. They say he's an actor's director, but ... and I hate to be sarcastic at a time like this, but don't you have to be able to act to be an actor's director? Oh, no he di'int!

Auteur Watch - Penny Marshall

Fetch me the next auteur! Quickly, before the web browser cuts me off again. It's acting a little wonky today, as the Canadians say.
No, we already did Mimi Leder this year... oh, right! They just look similar, that's all. Yes, it's TV's Laverne up next and, like former hubby Meathead, her directorial efforts seemed to flower in the 80s, wilt in the 90s and... oh, TV work in the 2000s. What a comedown, but work is work, right?
And so, to pad this out a little further, and reiterate what I said earlier much more efficiently, the 80s probably were best for Penny, directorially speaking. Taking the lessons learned from Jumpin' Jack Flash... whatever those might be... she nabbed herself a better cameraman and went Big next. Already leery of success, she went the Oscar route... but with Robin Williams? Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and he reduced his usual fee for the Oscar opportunity. Awakenings is also notable because ... nah, too obscure. Okay, a long time ago, someone did the Kevin Bacon game on a web page, but with David Letterman as the target instead of Bacon, and a guy who was on Letterman's show early in the CBS years named Leonard Tepper is in the cast. And Tepper kept popping up over and over again! Also because of Home Alone 2, but that's neither here nor there.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway, the trail runs a bit cold after A League of Their Own, both in terms of box office and Oscar fever. Not to say that The Preacher's Wife isn't a good movie. I just haven't watched it yet. Maybe it's the whole Whitney Houston curse or something.
And then... According to Jim? Oh, Penny. Is work that hard to come by? United States of Tara, maybe, just because Spielberg's tangentially involved, but please! Is Jim Belushi that worth it?

BOO!!

Damn! Can't save memory by using a link to the image... oh, well. I can only do so much. I'm only one blogger! Anyway, good news for the makers of Paranormal Activity 2! This week at the box office. Such as... not only is it #1, it's #1 to the tune of 40 million dollars! All I know is I didn't see any ads for it during The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, so I don't know how they managed to pull it off. Maybe ads on MTV or something. Somebody's making money, that's all we really need to know. But it's not all good news for MTV and Paramount, as Jackass drops some large percentage to only 20 million raked in. I know that seems pretty bad, but consider the short attention span of the audience involved. And, of course, we'll have to reserve judgment until next week. It's during that crucial THIRD week when the real trends emerge. But the point I was trying to make is that they learned the crucial lesson from Blair Witch and dumped the original director, opting for someone else to helm the sequel. Hell, for all I know, they're calling it a reboot! Seems fitting. If you're going to reboot Spider Man, for God's sake...

Meanwhile, Clint Eastwood just can't catch a break! Hereafter debuts at a mere #4. I have a feeling this won't slow him down much. Space Cowboys 2, Gran Torino 2... the man can crank out one Oscar contender per year AND limit crew hours to 14-hour days! The man's a genius, a marvel, maven, and all those other Jerry Lewis words. BLAOGOJEVICH!!

Best Damn Sports Movie Ever. Question Mark?

Well, second only to The Power of One, maybe. And Dodgeball. Bull Durham's also another hallmark, touchstone, what have you. Me, I'm not really a sports movie kinda guy, I guess. And sports fans would probably argue that Invictus is more about location than sports: historical and geographical. And of course, presidential politics under the W. Bush years have made the presidential metaphor heavy handed indeed. Does not Nelson Mandela find himself in Obama's shoes the first day in office? Then again, Mandela's never worked with Republicans before.
Anyway, potentially long review short, another fine effort from Malpaso and company. I don't know where Eastwood gets the energy to direct Oscar contenders every year, but he's catching up to Woody Allen, that's for sure. Maybe even surpassing him, at least in terms of diverse subject matter, and having generally above-average Oscar-worthy films to boot. Morgan Freeman probably should've won for this instead of Million Dollar Baby... okay, never mind. That's a whole other review. Matt Damon does a fine job as the beleaguered soccer star, who also manages to hold his marriage together along with everything else. Some would say the player's wife is an obligatory role in sports pics like these, but there are no small parts, right? Only small actors. What's-her-face does fine, but I wonder what Emily Mortimer would've done with the part. The cinematography was okay, nothing too flashy. Lots of sweeping shots of the crowd, and some of those shots of planes in the air were a little strange! At least, the first one. Maybe if I had a DVD of it I could dissect the phenom a little further (hint, hint?). I couldn't tell if it was digital video or not, but one of the shots of the rugby players in a huddle did look a little streaky. Otherwise, looked pretty film-y. I just can't tell what's what from the tech. specs page.
Oh well. The hipsters over at The Onion and The Village Voice probably didn't like the movie, but I thought it was all right, Obama metaphor and all. We're not in as bad of an economic shape as South Africa yet, but we'd all do well to learn from Madiba's equivalent to reaching across the aisle. And really, that mainly goes for Republicans at this point.

****
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

In America, Cart Push You!

I meant to say 'In Russia,' but things have changed so much since Yakoff Smirnoff's heyday. Russia's average standard of living's probably much better than us now, but hey! Now WE'RE the ones wiretapping ourselves! Kewl. I feel more comfortable in a bugged room, anyway. And while Man Push Cart seems like a breath of fresh air to the rest of the critics, it seems more like a training film to me. But it looks like they spared almost no expense on actual film, instead of springing for the easy lure of that crappy, streaky digital video that doesn't look as good, but MUST be much less expensive than the ol' quicksilver gelatin stuff.
Indeed, Ahmad's plight is America's plight in general, as we once held greatness in our past and in our youth, but we squandered it all away for family and the stability of a working class job. In mean ol' New York City, no less! Unfortunately, Ahmad's not much more successful in his personal life as he is in his professional life, but he manages to not get hit by cars, buses or garbage trucks as he pulls his cart from locale to locale PRACTICALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!!!!! Still bitten by the showbiz bug, apparently, as he used to be a Pakistani rock star.
As I watched Man Push Cart, I was vaguely reminded of the student films of yesteryear, with their average cinetomagraphy and the less-than-stellar acting. Many of the plot details go nowhere... oops! Spoiler alert. I'll try not to give too much more away. A rich friend comes into Ahmad's life, as does a cute girl who works at the newsstand down the street. And a kitten! Will the cute girl fall for Ahmad or the rich douchebag? Will Ahmad get over the loss of his wife? Will the tiny squeaking kitten grow up to be a proud lion? Needless to say, being a cat person myself, I didn't care for the way that last one turned out. I understand that Ahmad's plight is the stuff great dramas are made of, but somehow I needed a little more hope, or a little more plot, or something. SPOILER ALERT: The plot takes a turn similar to The Bicycle Thief on top of everything else. Basically, no earth-shattering revelations here: work still sucks, but New York seems to be a great place to sell some coffee and bagels. How soon can I move there?
I will say that even though the film's from 2005 it seemed like it was made today. I thought it was from 2009! For what that's worth...

A Snapple / Toys 'R Us Co-Production

Good double bill with: Anvil!

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Madonna

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. But, The Movie Hooligan! Madonna's not an auteur! You're just deliberately picking controversial choices to gain attention! Well, that is true. But I'll give my two reasons for this. 1) It says here that image uploads will be disabled for two hours due to maintenance on THIS VERY DAY, so I'm trying to make the publishing deadline, and 2) even though she'd be the first to tell you that she's given wing to more two-bit hack directors vis-a-vis her music videos than she'd care to admit, (FINCHER!!!!!!!!!!) I couldn't help but notice on Ms. Ciccone's IMDb page that the Bay City Material Girl's got a directing credit on her CV! The first is something called Filth and Wisdom, and if there were any two words to sum up her long glorious career, those two will do just fine somehow. The other is the upcoming W.E, and it looks pretty damn ambitious if I do say so myself. It's Madonna's tribute to her two favorite films of all time: Julie & Julia, and Wall-E. It has the title of Julie and Julia, and the plot of Wall-E... or vice versa, I can't remember which. And like all people like Madonna of Madonna's age, they cling with bony claw to the youth, like Abbie Cornish. Fasten your seatbelt, Ab, because it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Blasphemy!

Looks like Knoxville up on the cross. As usual, The Onion scoops the story. In the meantime, I'm stuck here with what little news I can get. One usually can't argue with numbers! If I remember correctly, this is the biggest opening for a Jackass movie ever. Damn 3D! Making things more interesting. Seriously though, this time I'd take a vomit bag with me if I were to go see it. Coming in a close second is Bruce Willis' latest paycheck... well, maybe a distant second. It's NOT Krystof Kieslowski's Red, okay? There's no way I spelled that right the first time... Krzysztof! That's it. No, this is Robert Schwentke's Red. I want to be the first to slap label to this burgeoning genre. It's more than action comedy, because that doesn't account for the Baby Boomers Getting Old And Not Liking It factor, or the Too Hip By a Third factor, or the fact that computers are making everything less interesting. When was the last time we had a moment like when Gerrit Graham almost gets run over in Used Cars? Exactly. The beginning of the Reagan Revolution. Now we're at the end of it, and the Big Brother state's almost complete. Orwell predicted movies like this, you know! Only it's that movies were constantly being updated to present a clear, unified picture of reality. He was dreaming, of course: a full employment economy? Puh-leeze.

Auteur Watch - Ida Lupino

I totally forgot! I went ahead and captured images for the future planned auteurs to be profiled. I realized this as I was doing Ida Lupino's image on IMDb right now. There goes the hyperlink. Well, lucky girl, she'll always have a home on Turner Classic Movies... at least, until they dump Robert Osborne, start showing commercials and Friday the 13th and Death Wish installments. No, Ida harkens back to an older age, when films had to rely on storytelling and acting to get by, not on swearing and nudity... I know, I know. I mean, something like Boondock Saints would have to not be made at all in the 30s. Or The Big Lebowski, for that matter! A very mixed bag. Unfortunately, like most directors, Ida had to turn to... yikes! TV directing. And kinda quickly at that! For shame. And she did a couple "Have Gun, Will Travel"s! Cool! Might have to pretend like I came across it by accident... we just got Season 2. She also did some Gilligan's Islands, so she'll always have a home on TV Land as well. Hard to say if TV directing had as much of a stigma in those days. In the 70s and 80s and 90s it was more of a stigma, but now thanks to globalization and the dominance of corporate media, TV shows have bigger budgets and bigger stars, and are almost on a par with cinema in terms of quality! Then again, I haven't been watching Heroes or The Event or all that other crap. Is it really better than Percy Jackson and The Olympians? ...Okay, bad example. The point is, Ida was the first chick auteur, girls! Remember that! Alas, she left us back in 1995. She was 77 years young. Godspeed, Ida! ...just checked her IMDb page; can't think of anything of hers I've seen, director wise. Shame on me.

A numerically special day

But I forget how... oh, right! It's 10/10/'10. There's gotta be some way the right wing can scare their base with this. Oh well.
1:57am, Sun.: I forget the big movie this weekend already... better wait another 10 hours or so. I've never done this before! But I felt really strongly about the attached image for some reason. Never did get Bo Derek. Bet Blake Edwards is sorry about that. Of course, I haven't seen all of Tarzan The Ape Man and none of Ghosts Can't Do It, so I'm probably not giving her a fair shake... Poor choice of words?
(Tue.) - Oh, right! The movies! Something called Life or Something Like It debuted this week... I'm sorry, that's wrong. It's called Life As We Know It. Doesn't quite have the punch of The Ugly Truth, but it'll do. Heigl's queen of the box office now! Killers was #1-ish. Duhamel plays the Johnny Knoxville part. The latest Wes Craven horror pic called My Soul To Take rounds out the top 5; according to the plot synopsis, wouldn't Happy Birthday To You have been a better title? And finally, Seabiscuit 2 only came in third! What an unhappy ending to this true story.

The Devil's Whiskey

Well, it's been far too long since I've actually sat down, put finger to keyboard and reviewed a movie, but it's not for lack of trying! So to make up for lost time, here's a threesome for you. Three seemingly unrelated movies, all bundled together into some sort of movie review equivalent of a toxic asset, with but one thing in common: a man with a dream and a bar. A man called Duffy.

Boondock Saints I

Oy. I think it makes more sense if you watch the documentary about it first called Overnight. As much as I hate to agree with The Onion, I'm afraid they got it right. Any charm the movie had in the first half, biblical or otherwise, is lost in the second when it becomes a Death Wish-esque... I hate to call it a thriller, or even a clone. Let's say an homage, but with delusions of national grandeur. Almost like Fight Club, but even Fight Club doesn't feature phony local news testimonials at the end... oops! Should I have said spoiler alert? Maybe the Beltway sniper watched it before going berserk, who knows. Any publicity is good publicity, right?
Well, I hope Harvey Weinstein learned a valuable lesson, as it was he who unleashed this monster unto the world. Well, that and Hannibal Rising. But I will say that I like Troy Duffy better than Kevin Smith. A shame that the acting talents of a David Della Rocco go largely unnoticed by Broadway and Hollywood alike, and Jason Mewes is the stuff of international stardom. Will Willem Dafoe ever live down his performance in this movie? I think he hopes so!! Troy, of course, gives himself a plum role in the movie at the beginning, doing what he does best: pounding the $#!... out of phony Russian gangsters.

**1/2


Overnight

A lively chronicle of the rise and fall of Troy Duffy, the latest and greatest hot young filmmaker since... well, since Troy Duffy, frankly. Not that I can't think of others. Tom Noonan is also similarly talented, directing AND doing the soundtrack for his movies. Hell, even Clint Eastwood composes for his Oscar-winning films, right? (see the movie) Anyway, we begin with Harvey Weinstein walking into a bar, and boy! Did he hit his head hard! Thinking he's found the perfect filmmaker, with the low budget of a Quentin Tarantino, and a flair for the cinematic that he learned from working in a video store of a Kevin Smith... something like that. With maybe just a dash of an Edward Burns thrown in for good measure. All is right with the world... or so it would seem. We don't get a glimpse of what Troy Duffy was like before Weinstein entered his life, but afterwards we see an ego balloon on hyper-inflate. The first sign of trouble comes when he's on the phone with Harvey and goes "Hey, man, I'm not a director! I haven't even been to film school..." Eventually, after spurning many of Harvey's casting choices, the deal is off. Oh, and Troy's also in this band, and that doesn't go anywhere either. But, the story does have half of a happy ending. The film does get made, Troy almost gets martyred, and 10 years later the sequel comes to life! I'm probably forgetting some important point, but that's about it. Oh, and the filmmakers themselves are... were Troy's business partners for a bintel brief, so one might think this is all just a revenge doc, but they seem objective enough given the circumstances. And if Troy's lawyers are happy, I'm happy.

Good double bill with: The Typewriter, The Rifle & The Movie Camera

***

Boondock Saints II: The Re-Boon..t?

Valuable lessons learned: like all great directors Troy puts the credits at the END of the pic instead of the beginning. Well, all of the good things about the first B.S., and I guess there were a few, seem to get lost in this outing. And all the bad ones are intensified. Another flamboyant FBI agent is on the trail of the religious hit men. They're a little older, a little puffier, especially Powder. Ugh! What happened, man? Anyway, the Willem Dafoe character is dead, so in comes Kate Beckinsale. Well, close enough. We see her red high heel shoes first, but somehow she doesn't live up to them. Cameron Diaz, maybe. Angelina Jolie, uh huh! Normally with a movie like this, I wonder... WWMD? What Would Maxim Magazine do? This movie was tailor made for them! What more do you want? I mean, besides more Russ Meyer type stuff? Unfortunately, Maxim has standards too, and they like the Oscar material like everyone else. The Godfather. Apocalypse Now. Pulp Fiction. The Blind Side. Boondock Saints is NOT in that league. But somehow it magically re-appeared on our TiVo and we just can't stop watching it! Piecemeal, anyway. Clifton Collins Jr. does what he can as the Joe Pesci Lethal Weapon-esque comic relief. And it gives the boys a chance to denigrate non-Irish ethnic types! Which they take, of course. Fun for the whole family. Oh, right, and Judd Nelson's in it, too. Pretty much reprising his role in The Breakfast Club. Sheesh.

**

-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Kasi Lemmons

Awright! My 600th post. And what better time than to profile our next auteur? It's Kasi Lemmons! A veteran Hollywood actress, she'd been in too many movies like The Silence of The Lambs and thought to herself, well, hell! If those bozoes can do it, I might as well direct these turkeys myself! ...or was it The Five Heartbeats? I don't know. Anyway, she must not be the main breadwinner in the family. No, Vondie's got that job, but she does choose her projects carefully. Eve's Bayou was a critical smash, if not amongst the populace at large. Then there was The Caveman's Valentine. She caught Anthony Michael Hall in a transition period in his career. Between that and Freddy Got Fingered, he had a great 2001 even if the rest of us didn't. Then she tried to ride Don Cheadle's coattails with Talk To Me. What more do you ungrateful bastards WANT from her? Call her, Ejiofor...

You like this.

Oh yeah, I'm hip to the whole facebook thing. And I'm trying to hypnotize you. But facebook is a bit more than having Email Plus... but as soon as they start charging for it, I'm so OUTTA THERE! Unless I have even more trouble keeping up with my friends than I do presently. Even with facebook!! Point is, that damn facebook movie's #1! Didn't see that coming. Fincher's still got it, I guess. Benjy Button made a little money, but he kinda needed this. And since Sorkin wrote it, I'm still betting one of the characters says they're never ever sick at sea. Or maybe just never sick at sea. That image took a lot more effort to get than it should have. Should've just gone straight to youtube instead of futzing around with non-commercial-free hulu. Hear that, Hollywood? Two more movie ideas for ya!
As for the other debuts, well, there's Case 39, the latest Renee Zellweger vehicle. She's having about as rough a go of it as did Kim Basinger after she won her Oscar! Too bad Curtis Hanson's not there to give you a hit with Eminem, Zell. The other is something called Let Me In. More damn vampires, but on the plus side, more work for Hit Girl! Can't wait for Kick Ass 2... as long as it doesn't suck.

Short Reviews - September 2010

She's The Man - I saw this in the perfect venue: on the gym TV with the closed-captioning.

Bob Roberts - Everyone should re-watch this before the election

A Face in the Crowd - This too for good measure.

George Carlin: It's Bad For Ya - Prescient about Tiger Woods in at least one way

Shred - Kids! We're going to watch a movie. Oh boy! Is it Shrek? No! We can't afford Shrek. It's Shred! Starring your favorite, Tom Green! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...

Bob the Butler - Oh puhleeeeeze. Is there NOTHING that can hurt this guy's street cred?

Rudy - This month Joe Montana finally found fault with the film, and not a moment too soon I might add! Daniel Craig will portray him in a new biopic... well, he should, anyway. No one can do the Bond thing forever anymore. At least, not at MGM. Oh, snap!

The Fountainhead - Even Ayn Rand couldn't make a hero out of a mad bomber.

The Social Network - It was written by Aaron Sorkin, so one of the characters will say that they're never ever sick at sea. Maybe Timberlake!

Shrek 4 3D - The D's the thing!... sorry, that's the best I could do.

The Lovely Bones - Looks a bit like Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Just saying.

The Island Inside - Sequel to The Sea Inside?

We go to Monte Carlo - With Audrey Hepburn as Linda Farrel

We Will All Go To Monte Carlo - ...but Audrey will now go as Melissa Walter!

Stone - The Score 2?

Tank Girl - Naomi vs. Petty: who's playing the nerdy girl now??

Jackass 3D - Bring an extra vomit bag with you just in case...

Legend of the Guardians - After 300 and Watchmen, those better be some buff owls!

The Final Saw - You mean the last STRAW!

Hell Is For Heroes - Ironic, because I thought Heaven was for heroes. Well! Won't all those 9/11 firemen be surprised!

Erik the Viking - Man, the Maltin guide is so square! ...NOW do you get it? (see post image)

Timelessness: A Face in the Crowd

Welp, another election is upon us, so why not get a little political? Any of you who have read me at all may have gathered that I tend to lean to the left, so it may come as no shock to some of you that I like A Face in the Crowd. For my fellow left-leaning types, it may come as a shock that I do like this movie because, yes, Elia Kazan was a rat and named names to the House Un-American Activities Committee way back when. Still, he was a hell of a director in his time, and ranks right up there with the greats: Billy Wilder, Frank Capra, William Castle. And A Face in the Crowd is as good as Network, and in some ways is even better, I dare say! The screenplay is similarly excellent, insightful, satirical, and all those great qualities a good movie embodies. This is what Keith Olbermann is referring to when he calls Glenn Beck "Lonesome Rhodes."
So, what does make a movie timeless? Well, with a performance like Andy Griffith gives, it's a big plus. Ironically, this was the only time he played a 'heavy', so to speak, and spent the rest of his career playing the thing he satirizes here... if that makes sense. It's an epic journey for Larry Rhodes, from a local jail to New York City when he reaches the pinnacle of his "craft." When a film is good like this, it often gets called a 'meditation,' but it was a little ahead of Network in noticing that television is a powerful force in the universe, and it tends to bend people to its will. Even senators! I'll try not to spoil too much of the plot details, but as with All The King's Men, both involve exploiting hillbilly culture for personal gain. And for all you nice guys looking for witty banter with the ladies, ... oh good! They have it: "All mild men are vicious. They hate themselves for being mild, and they hate the windy extroverts whose violence seems to have a strange attraction for nice girls. You should know better," Walter Matthau tells Patricia Neal. Apparently, he plays the Budd Schulberg part. Surely this was part autobiographical, part based on the life of ... whoever. Gotta go to Wikipedia for this one: Andy Griffith's character is based in part on someone named Arthur Godfrey. And for anti-fans of Viagra and Cialis like me, the Vitajex ads are pretty riotous; also gotta like the scene where the nerd in the board meeting says "it's basically sugar tablets!!" Lamentably, today's aristocracy is better about holding back the truth, so we may have to settle for the little victories, like Matthau's at the end, and I'm talking about when he gives his big final speech, then goes "Beanie!!" I probably should've said Spoilers, but I don't think that will spoil the whole ride for you.

good double bill with: either Network or All The King's Men... the original!

****
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan