Deprecated...?

Update: let me just say this about the DVD... Warner Brothers kinda sucks when it comes to transferring their classics to DVD. Blade Runner shook back and forth and was making me dizzy, and Batman, well... I don't know the technical term, but I think it has to do with normalization. The brightness was normalized on it. This is Batman we're talking about here. This is $60 million for Jack Nicholson. This is Batman logo tattoos and haircuts in the backs of peoples' heads. This is Sean Young stalking Tim Burton... no, wait, that's the second one. The point is, I want a crisp transfer, boys! You better hope you got the Blu-Ray right! I want the brights BRIGHT! I want it to look like the tarmac scenes in 1941, or every Oliver Stone film from the 90s. BRIGHT, BRIGHT, BRIGHT! Okay, on to the review proper.

Awright! It's been a long while, so let's crank out a damn movie review here! So this is the question that surely comes to mind now in this post-9/11 world: is there still room on the DVD shelf for the 1989 Batman? Apparently, Warner Brothers must be having their doubts, as it's now bundled with the likes of Blade Runner, Blade and 2001: A Sbace Odyssey... wait, that last one has no B in it. And I guess I reserved some doubts myself when I first saw it lo those many years ago. Not that I didn't get caught up in the hype, of course. The wall-to-wall ads, the fact that a relative hippie sprout like Tim Burton was helming the project. Oh, I cared about such things back then, don't kid yourselves. But on and on I ramble. Still, kinda hard to believe this was the blockbuster that it was watching it now, but it was.
But since Burton's gone on to ruin the Planet of the Apes franchise, I can't help but think now that there's a little of the ol' TV show in this film incarnation, that Jack Nicholson seems to channel Cesar Romero a little bit, and the camera tilts slightly at times, especially during the art gallery sequence. It still has some satirical bite: The Magic Christian turned slightly on its ear.
But some of the casting choices do suffer a bit. Michael Keaton? Well, once upon a time he was a star, and after doing such films as Gung Ho, Touch and Go and The Squeeze, why wouldn't he be a shoe-in for the role of the new Caped Crusader? A little more down to earth than Superman to be sure, but a little meaner too. Not Superman 3 mean, but mean. Robert Wuhl kinda doesn't work for me, either, but he's suffered enough as it is. I won't heap on him any further.
As for the rest, well, that Hootkins was a hoot with that baritone voice of his. And if you need a mayor of New York or Gotham, why not get someone like Lee Wallace? That voice! That resumé! Sometimes you need a guy with experience. And gotta love Bob, that veteran of Jonathan Demme films like Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia... even Beloved, for God's sake! Now that's dedication. Of course, he's no Dick Miller to Joe Dante; he wasn't even in Stop Making Sense, for God's sake! It makes no sense! Nevertheless, I have seen that guy before... just, never in person. Anyway, Tim Burton's Batman is at least daring in its casting choices, casting a few people over 30, unlike the new one. Oh, and I forgot to mention Jack Palance, chewing his way through his two scenes harder than even Christopher Walken ever could. I felt sorry for him, but he got through his two-pic deal with Guber and Peters. Somehow ironic that he gets killed early in this one, yet survives to the bitter end in Tango and Cash.
Anyway, I ramble on and on. I must confess I cut right to the good parts when re-watching this one. As with A Fish Called Wanda, I tended to skip around to the parts with Kevin Kline. With Batman, it's straight to the Joker's big scenes. And so, here's a toast to the world's first and last fully functioning homicidal artist.

***1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Sally Field

As the IMDb mini-bio will surely tell you, Sally Field is a star. That's why it might be hard to take her seriously in something like Where the Heart is or Say It Isn't So, because even though she is a gifted actress, it's still like Tim Robbins in the War of the Worlds remake; I mean, you can't help but go, "Hey! It's Tim Robbins! Re-enacting his Mystic River personna, no doubt. Well, this is what he gets for turning down Jurassic Park, huh?"
Anyway, yes there was little doubt ever since the Flying Nun that Sally Field was destined for greatness, whether it be in Stay Hungry or opposite Burt Reynolds in all the movies they did together... just the two, right? What, she couldn't come back for Smokey and the Bandit 3?
But what with all her charity work and the Boniva commercials and ... oh, Sally. You can't be the sexpot and wear dresses like that! You just can't! Anyway, even with all she does, it nevertheless occurred to her at some point, looking at all those dufuses she worked with who get to sit in the crane chair and go up tens of feet to do a dolly shot... at least, that's how things used to be done before all this CGI digital crap... she thought to herself "Well, if THOSE idiots can boss all these poor shmucks around... hell! I could do that!" But she's only done it the three times: one episode of From the Earth to the Moon! Not bad at all. Boy, Gump must be the best boss in the world. And something called Beautiful... Damn! They stole my idea.

B-List Superheroes to the rescue!

Even though the Dragon movie's #1 again this week... at the box office...
keeping the world safe for children's entertainment, there are a couple contenders on the horizon, forcing the kids to choose. After all, Kick-Ass at #2 prominently FEATURES a kid! Oh, she's not grown up and bitter like Dakota Fanning yet, but close. And of course, next week will bring us The Losers, but for me, these two probably aren't as good as 1999's Mystery Men. Hmm! I oughta review that sometime! Gotta run... Oh, the other debut this week is Death at a Funeral. Good on ya!

Auteur Watch - Nora Ephron

Who's the next gal we got? Why, she looks like Mary McDonnell! But it's not her. And Mary's not a director, alas, but she's worked with the best. No, it's one of those lovely ladies giving voice to all those upper-middle class / lower-upper class white people who blend in too well and have no one in government or the private sector to properly project their angst, and it's Nora Ephron, who once quipped that her beloved New York City is like a Third World country. Not that Rudy Giuliani necessarily had anything to do with that.
I dunno. I always thought Delia would be the alpha sister of their duo. Loved her How to Eat like a Child. A childhood favourite. You know, if I had to guess, and so far there are only two to pick from, I'd have to say the 90s are her favorite decade. The megahit that was Sleepless in Seattle, the total creative control that was Mixed Nuts... or maybe not.
Or maybe it was the 2000s? Working again with Travolta, but unfortunately stepping in a big pile of Resnick, producing Hanging Up. Seriously, though, I did like Julie and Julia. I promise I'll get around to reviewing it one of these days. Over and out.

Repeat...

Welp, looks like Sam Worthington's asking price just went up. Yes, it's another knuckle dragger at the ol' box office this week. Titans clashed with Date Night, and in a stunning reversal, reclaimed the #1 spot from its new rival. Even Tina Fey with all her clout couldn't demand a recount, but don't worry. That won't stop Mean Girls 2 from hitting the 3D multiplexes. Lindsay Lohan just might not be in it, though. The only other debut this week is Letters to God. Oh, you can smell the country on this one, and the lack of Screen Actors Guild talent. I'm surprised this managed to stay on the top 10. Well, we'll see it again at the end of the year, I'm sure. Actually, I kinda hope not. May it survive another week at the box office so I can ignore it! Haven't had any one week wonders in a while. The last one was in January, for God's sake! I'll spare Indiana Jones the embarrassment of naming it... because, damn it, I'm a scientist too!

Auteur Watch - Claire Denis

Oh my, I've never fallen behind this far before... or at least in a while since I increased my blogging vigilance. Shame on me. Dereliction of duty. Okay, let's get back to it, and I ... Oof! Wowee wow wow! Who is that? Is that Isabella Rosselini sporting a new do? Or perhaps her more attractive cousin? Nah, it's just our next girl auteur, Claire Danes... I'm sorry, I got that wrong. I mean, Claire Denis. Sorry 'bout the mixup, Herskovitz. But at least I'm not making the same old mistakes, right?
Where was I? Oh yeah. Well, when you get right down to it, seeing as how pressed for time I am lately, I don't think I'll be able to give Ms. Denis the adequate auteur worship she deserves, and sure, she doesn't seem as flamboyant as a Catherine Breillat or an Ida Lupino, but she's good enough to work with the likes of Bertolucci. Even if it is on a crap project. And in another snap judgment, I'm going to say the 2000s are her favourite decade. Finally, the high profile gigs she's been working towards her whole life. Her latest and greatest is something called White Material. But Isaach de Bankole's in it, so it's not all bad. Who else in the cast? Isabelle Huppert, she's a name, and... Christopher Lambert? Highlander? You're kidding, right? He's not even French! He's a New Yorker! Why, he's worked with the likes of... well, Albert Pyun, for God's sake! (Let's see if Albert responds... ;) )

Same diff...

Well, Colbert already discussed it better than I ever could, but the Clash of the Titans reboot was #1 this weekend. Did they create a new god called Pal, the god of traditional animation? Well, they shoulda. Or perhaps a god called Spota, the god of recurring characters in Peter Hyams movies. The main thing is, 3D is boffo, baby! And it's a little bit of a deterrent to all the camcorder pirates out there. Meanwhile, Tyler Perry is no longer the king of #1. Oh well. He had a good run. Somehow I find it hard to believe he had a hard time getting into the Oscars, but oh well. That's what you get for not going with Oprah. Meanwhile, Hot Tub Time Machine slips to #6. If their website's not http://httm.com, they're missing a bet. MGM can screw up anything. But let me say this: if Craig Robinson's not the new Anthony Anderson by now, he never will be. And we do need a new one: Anthony takes himself too seriously as an actor now. Oh, will Scary Movie 5 never come?
Anyway, the third debut this week is The Last Song. Another damn Nicholas Sparks movie. They're arriving faster than, well, Tyler Perry's movies, for example! The marketplace is saturated! Too much Cyrus for one nation to take!

Short Reviews - March 2010

As Nada once said, "I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick some ass... and I'm all out of bubble gum." But even though I'm in a hurry, I did plan ahead with the following updated image of Eraserhead. I mean, what with Hollywood going remake crazy, aren't we overdue for an Eraserhead remake with Tim Robbins in the lead? Am I right, people? Okay, on to the movies.


lice in Wonderland with martin short... what is this one? Molded whitefish?

The Politician's Wife (2010) - It's the 90s all over again. Dave, Absolute Power, Murder at 1600... except, from the wife's point of view. Bore-ring!

In The Cut - I hate to think what the adult-film version of this is called...

Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Let me put it this way... Oh, Jack N. Green, how far you've fallen. How far from Clint Eastwood's good graces. How did it happen?

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D - Where to begin...

Rescue Dawn - Steve Zahn is a revelation

Strange Wilderness - Steve Zahn... not so much of a revelation here.

Happy, Texas - Or here

National Security - Or here

Lawrence of Arabia - Nope! Haven't remade it yet, but it's coming. And when they do, let me just say: no offense. I know it's an epic and a classic and all, but man! That music gets just a tad monotonous, no? If I may be so bold...

Lions for Lambs - With Tom Cruise as John Edwards.

The Last Song - If only. I'm sorry, I guess I should call it Nicholas Sparks' The Last Song. If Stephen King is the Big Mac of literature, Sparks must be the rice cracker. Why can't he take the long hiatus that John Grisham took? Aren't we overdue? Haven't we earned that?

The Runaways - Personally, I think Debi Mazar would've been a better choice to play Joan Jett, don't you folks?

Little Miss Sunshine - With Bryan Cranston as Stan Grossman

Fargo - With Larry Brandenburg as Stan Grossman

The Women - With Meg Ryan as Sally Struthers

Dolores Claiborne - Tortured sister of Liz

See Dick Run - Oh, Kel. What happened, man? You and Kenan were such a pair on Nickelodeon all those years. Now Kenan's the new black Farley, and you're reduced to dreck like this. Good thing I stopped by Hollywood Video before they went out of business; otherwise, I might never have looked it up on the IMDb!

Auteur Watch - Tamra Davis

Sorry, gotta keep this short too, so let me just cut to the chase and say the 90s. That's her favorite decade. CB4. Billy Madison. Half Baked. Her TV epitaph will probably be "The director of Billy Madison has died..." Not to be morbid, but... what? I said I have to keep it short! My cat's blocking the computer monitor again. He's kinda needy that way.

Extreme training...

Sorry, FarmVille, gotta leave you behind for a little while. Welp, I've left myself high and dry again, so let's just keep this real short. Let me just say this about Hot Tub Time Machine: the spin doctors over at The Rotten Tomatoes Show want uniformity in how the critics feel about their movies, but the main critics agree: it's a delightful tongue-in-cheek romp, and it looks like it's actually going to make some damn money! Maybe not The Hangover money, but money nonetheless. And like The Hangover, HTTM is proving to be a boon for a Daily Show alum. The Bounty Hunter slips slightly to #4, surpassing even my expectations. Is it just me, or does Gerard Butler look like Tom Green's brother? And of course, another Dreamworks Pixar film takes the #1 spot, big surprise there. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta drain the lizard...

Still Ordinary after all these years...

Okay, so it's not my cup of tea, as you could probably figure out judging from my previous reviews. And time does seem to pass certain movies by. But if it's been made within one's lifetime, one can't help but see how young and thin everyone looked. And I'm sure the wisecrackers over at The Rotten Tomatoes Show are going to call it the most unfair Best Picture winner since... How Green Was My Valley. I mean, how could it beat Raging Bull? Coal Miner's Daughter? ...okay, Tess and The Elephant Man I could understand. But Raging Bull? And Coal Miner's Daughter? (see, our culture can't get enough country western these days...) But see, that was your father's Oscars. It was about respect. It was about a nice film about a family winning the Oscar, not something about some ethnic gangster-ish type! Not like today. Something like that, anyway. I'm sure the Oscar voting bloc would never cop to that. But I will definitely agree that Timothy Hutton deservedly won the Supporting Actor Oscar. De Niro won for Raging Bull so it wasn't a total loss. The Oscars have dissed Scorsese before, they'll do it again. Then again...
Anyway, back to time passing a movie by. It must've been controversial in its day, but we're awash in the Movie Psychiatrist character these days. Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, Loren Dean in Mumford, and that one guy in that one episode of Bored to Death. I think he's my favorite. Why, I'll even post the link to his name... what was his name? Denis O'Hare, that's it. But the instant case makes a fine touchstone of modern pop psychology: it's not your fault, just move on, etc. And a psychiatrist who doesn't believe in psychiatry, that kind of thing. Mind-bending Jedi tricks, you know.
An all around fine film, nothing much to complain about. Crazy white people. The editing was kind of different. I always have an appreciation for that. The only real complaint is that Turner Classic Movies hasn't gone to HD yet! Get with the times, guys! The print was a little squashed, and wasn't sharp like other HD movie channels. That's just the way it is sometimes: Death Wish II on MGM-HD gets the high-def transfer, but Ordinary People doesn't. Upside-down priorities, guys. Oh, but I will say that I like Pachelbel's Canon as much as the next guy, but somehow it didn't work for me here, but again, that's just me. I and my viewing companions were trying to place a certain actor: I think it was this guy. Looks a bit like David Paymer. I don't remember him in that episode of Seinfeld all that well, sorry to say. As for Elizabeth McGovern, well, when is she going to do a movie with Peter Gallagher? They could play brother and sister! I gotta go...

***1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Lisa Cholodenko

Is life good for Lisa Cholodenko? I would have to think so. Judging from the picture anyway and her résumé, one would think so. But which decade would you say was her favourite? Was it the go-go indie film 90s? An exciting time indeed to be in movies. The marketplace had blockbuster fatigue and was ready to embrace other cultures and ethnicities, and beat the road pic genre to death. Mostly in the desert. And our li'l Lisa, she parlayed (sic) her writing-directing talents into a guest shot on Homicide or H-LOTS as we all know and love it... those of us who were there from the beginning, that is.
Or maybe the 2000s? Quite simply, the era of Dubya. More TV work and Laurel Canyon for Lisa. Big time now, baby. Not working as hard, but that's all right, too.
But if I know anything at all about directors, it's the current decade that's the favorite. The 2010s, baby. Hope is bourne anew, rising like a phoenix from the tea leaves. Oh yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. For Lisa, it's something called The Kids Are All Right. And if a good director knows anything, it's that you need a catchy title. Something that sounds good at the ticket counter. "One for The Kids are All Right, please!" I just wish she went with a more unique phrase...

...Bozo the Clown?

Oh, I never want to go back to work! Facebook will do the thinking for us now, as Homer might say. Well, it looks like Johnny Depp's asking price for Pirates of the Caribbean 4 just went up. Alice in Wonderland kicks ass for the third consecutive week in a row! Does it think it's Avatar or something? This is getting out of hand. Clearly the youth bubble hasn't burst yet. At #2 is something called Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Sorry, jocks and cool kids, but you need a new John Hughes to give you voice. Meanwhile, you gotta put up with stuff like this. It's Gordy's revenge, I tells ya. And Ernest. Probably Larry the Cable Guy as well. I get that vibe from it. Then there's The Bounty Hunter. You still got it, Aniston, what can I say? Not quite #1, but hey! They can't all be Marley and Me good. The last debut this week is the new organ donor comedy Repo Men. It's 2004 again and Jude Law's back. A little older, a little wiser, and a little less handsome, I dare say. He's let Hollywood excess finally get to him, but appearing on SNL will usually help a movie debut out, as far as I know. And being on The Daily Show is a new springboard for supporting characters, and the occasional star. Keep your chin up, Josh Gad.

2010 Post Oscar Wrap Up

Once again, I failed. But the two main take home messages are: 1) I let my personal bias get in the way of the scoring, and 2) from now on, WE TIVO the Oscars! That's right. It took us a year to do it, but that's our credo from now on. Not that we didn't like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, but most of the stuff we shoulda fast forwarded through. Like the tributes to the best actor and actress. They changed it slightly this year from having previous Oscar winners kiss their ass to having a co-star kiss their ass, preferably a fellow Oscar winner or nominee. Nice try, Colin Farrell. Boy! This is how insidious these country western influences are getting. Even sex tape pretty boy Colin Farrell's getting in on the ground floor of it! I mean, I'm glad Jeff Bridges won and all, but really, it's the Oscar he shoulda gotten for The Big Lebowski, am I right? As for not changing my vote from an Avatar sweep to The Hurt Locker, well, what can I say? Cameron's now where Spielberg was in the 80s. It's the price you sometimes pay: you get the blockbusters, but not the Oscar gold. You can either have the respect of the moviegoing public, or the Oscar voting block. Not both. Unlike with Titanic, but I digress. I felt bad for the one black dude whose speech got interrupted. Guess he'll just have to win again for something else.
But Kathryn Bigelow's not the only lucky girl of that magical evening last week. Sandra Bullock won for most profitable movie with a Best Actress nominee in it. I couldn't think to myself, oh, George Clooney. Can't you do anything right? Seriously, though, the man got dissed this year. No nomination for The Men who Stare at Goats? Jealousy, plain and simple. I loved that moment between him and Alec Baldwin. I guess they shoulda hammered the message home; say, if Johnny Depp were also in the audience. Coulda done the same thing! Or Robert Pattinson... but I guess he's too young. I got caught up in the fervor and thought for a second that The Princess and the Frog would win Best Animated Feature, but let's face it. That's just how hated Disney is. Pixar tried to get away once, but they made their deal with the devil lo those many years ago. PDI Dreamworks rode that wave of goodwill with Shrek but haven't pandered to the Oscar voting bloc since. Good on you, guys, until you win again. Guess that's all I got. Too late to keep it short and sweet?

Final score: 96 out of 121

Auteur Watch - Cher

Gandalf! No, wait, it's Sauron. No, no, wait, it's ... my God, is that Cher? It can't be! Or maybe her albino twin sister? Or Priscilla Presley's twin sister? No, it is indeed Cher. Good Lord. Good grief. Great suffering Zot. At least, so says the IMDb. They must be wrong. Well, even Madonna couldn't pull off a look change THAT dramatic these days. But if I had to guess, I'd say the 80s were Cher's favourite cinematic decade of her career. Oscar noms, big leading roles. Somehow, the 2000s and her "cameo" in Stuck on You pales in comparison, I dare say. And yet, those wiseacres over at The Rotten Tomatoes Show on the Current channel voted Moonstruck the worst movie wedding, or something like that. Jaded hipsters: our new greatest natural resource. Not much directorially happening for Cher lately. I guess she was too much of a tyrant on her part of If These Walls Could Talk. But the power can be addictive. All those resources at your disposal. Flunkies who will do your every bidding, bring you hot chocolate, what have you. Stay busy, girlfriend! I believe in life after love, or however that song goes.

Deppity-Do x 2

All right, enough fooling around here. Time to do some damn writing and catch up. Let's start with this week's box office. Well, the bean counters over at Variety musta did a double take on this one. Why does ol' Johnny Depp keep trying to confuse the ladies who just want to love him with these weird-ass roles he plays? Why, even my friend's getting sick of him! There's a short list, you see, of movie stars they're tired of: Jack Nicholson, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, Adam Sandler... it's a much longer list. Oh yeah, Jennifer Aniston, too. Anyway, Alice in Wonderland's still got legs, and now it's kind of a Hook thing: Alice's all grown up this time, just like Peter Banner. But this is the 3D cinema era now! Everything will be seen anew. Those Samsung 3D televisions are coming soon as well. It's just going to be that much harder for the camcorder pirates... unless! Hey, what if you hold up one of the 3D glasses to the camcorder lens? Awesome. Balance is restored to the force.
Anyway, we got four, count 'em FOUR debuts this week! Such as they are. There's Green Zone with Matt Damon. There's the A League of their Own reboot called She's Out of my League... I think that's the plot. Remember Me debuts at #4, and I can't believe it, ladies! I thought you liked Edward Cullen! Somehow the populace always knows when it's not Twilight, but the indie film they do in between blockbusters that's apparently not worth watching. Go figure. And finally, Kingdome Come 2010, AKA Our Family Wedding. Oh, but why doesn't this get the press that The Wedding Date got? The little non-Diablo Cody screenwriter that could? Move on dot org! These writers and director cash in their chips (own life story) for a shot on the silver screen and the best they can do is #6? The system works. Meanwhile, Avatar's run is almost over. Didn't last as long as Titanic, but oh well. It's a different cinematic landscape, but I think Cameron will be okay in the final analysis. Meanwhile, Cop Out and Brooklyn's Finest will soon be replaced by The Bounty Hunter, down at the bottom of the list, heh heh...

Auteur Watch - Jane Campion

Damn. Well, I was close. But I guess I can still say, you know, it wasn't so long ago that history could've been made at the Oscars... but the landscape was a little different back then. Schindler's List was the big Oscar winner, and it was time for Spielberg to finally get some damn recognition. From the Oscars, anyway. But The Piano did sweep the acting Oscars. Go figure. Just like Titanic and Lord of the Rings 3, Schindler's List swept the technical awards and got dissed on the acting front. Anyway, so which decade is this gal's fave, ya think? The go-go 80s when her whole life seemed to be in front of her, even if it was confined to Wellington? Or was it the 90s, when she went international and got accoladed to death, left and right? And more importantly, forged a relationship with future Oscar winner Kate Winslet? Perhaps not the 2000s, where Bright Star ate it at the box office. I'd have to say the 90s, her Oscar era. What could be better than that?

Deppity-Do

Okay, let's try this again. Blogspot let me down on this one, man. They totally lost my last post! I mean, TOTALLY lost it. No back button could save it, apparently. Plus, the Daily Show's almost starting. Gotta run pretty soon, but the main thing at the box office this weekend is the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp reboot machine grinds on, to the tune of 100+ million! Dayamn. I haven't seen anything like it since Spielberg ruled the 80s. I haven't done my statistical research on this or anything, but I dare say there's another generational youth bubble inflating. Twilight, this, shorter and shorter attention spans... where was I? Oh, right. The other debut this week is the latest Antoine Fuqua juggernaut, Brooklyn's Finest. Will make a fine Costco Cop DVD trilogy along with We Own the Night and that Edward Norton thing from last year. Boy, between this and Cop Out, the top 10 is littered with gritty cop dramas. Must be a generational geriatric bubble inflating as well. Gotta run!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy, Spielberg must hate this movie...

Yeah, I know everyone's all raving about this whole Avatar craze, but you know what? It wasn't the first movie to think up the idea of people projecting themselves into alternate realities. Being John Malkovich comes to mind... Altered States... damn! I knew that was too broad a setup. So let me include another thing I noticed. If you read enough online movie reviews, you're bound to discover that many critics have a soft spot in their hearts for some movie that you think is a campy piece of garbage. And it's probably something from the 80s, that wonderful decade, where the worst of the 70s transmogrified into a new flavor of badness. The decade where a movie score composer could get by on less than the London Symphony Orchestra at their command. Often all they had was a used Roland synthesizer and their imagination. And most of these things could be applied to Dreamscape. The one from 1984, not the one from 2000, 2006 or 2007. And certainly not Stephen King's Nightmares and Dreamscapes from 2006.
Sadly, I'm inclined to fall into the second category. I don't stand by every movie I saw when I was young, dumb and full of... hope for the future, until I realized I couldn't coast on my Brad Pitt-good looks forever. But Dreamscape wasn't without its charms. I still like the kid's snake man dream sequence. But in general, kids' dreams in America are ignored. When was the last time you told your kid to fight his dream demons? Or buy him a set of lucid dreaming goggles that flash tiny red lights when the eyes start the REM movements? And when was a kid so tormented by dreams anyway? Aren't there enough bullies in real life? I should know! I've seen plenty of Adam Sandler movies, so I know all about bullies.
There's plenty of acting talent to be had here. With a rare serious role from Norm on Cheers, to boot! Also, Christopher Plummer as a slimy Cheney-esque bad guy. Sigh. His days of The Return of the Pink Panther are long gone. Maybe he'll get the Oscar in a couple days just on g.p. And of course, leading man Dennis Quaid. Surely the 80s were his favourite decade. He was the poor man's Harrison Ford. I know! I learned all about inferior goods in economics class. Not that Quaid's inferior, of course, just in comparison to Indiana Jones. Incidentally, on the commentary, they do note that both this movie and Temple of Doom feature a heart being forcibly removed, and yet, Temple of Doom got a PG rating. But they get the last laugh, ultimately. This was before the PG-13 meant you can only use the f word once. I counted, what? Three, four? Someone ought to do a study of that... But the main thing is that the 80s were pretty darn good for Dennis Quaid. Seemed like he was doing about 5 movies a year during the 80s. Another good idea for a study.
Of course, this being a Joseph Ruben film, it's bound to be more than a little campy. He does the prestige pics like True Believer and Return to Paradise, of course, but he also does the unsophisticated stuff, too, like Money Train and The Good Son and The Pom Pom Girls. And... oh, crap! The Stepfather. And Sleeping With The Enemy. That kind of fare. And something called Gorp. Reminds me: I gotta remember to clean my shoes. So this movie will undoubtedly leave you scratching your head in spots, asking questions like, why is it, in movies like this, that the main character plays the movie's theme on the saxophone? At least David Patrick Kelly was actually blowing into the saxophone. Here he does a dialed-down version of the character he played in The Warriors, a psychopathic killer, in dreams and otherwise, named Tommy Ray Glatman. Hmm! Also three names! Interesting. No one mentions him in the other online reviews, I bet.
Some have called this a sci-fi thriller, but really, only to the extent of the dream linking equipment involved. "Who's your decorator? Darth Vader?" Great line. Michael Bay couldn't have done better. And his films have some pretty tacky lines, that's for sure. I guess that's about all I got. Oh, I do like the part where Quaid and his two, um, bounty hunters or whatever, are walking him leisurely down the college hallway to a waiting room. Gotta like the thrilling music that accompanies that slow-paced scene. And the security guard who checks him in: I'll bet that guy was a Shakespearean actor. Good voice! There are no small parts with one line: only small actors.

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Short Reviews - February 2010

Richard Gere. Primal Fear. Walter Hill's Wild Bill... that's all I can think of.
My God! Tyler Perry's waiting til April to release his latest bomb? Say it isn't so!!! Release it THIS weekend! Oscar weekend. Indict Hollywood for their lack of Tyler Perry nominations...

Sorry, another busy month, folks. No time for movies. Well, limited time.


Crazy Heart - Now The Dude's The Stranger!

From a Buick 8 - Wait a minute! This is a Stephen King novel... how come Frank Darabont's not involved???!!!!

The Road - Basically, what America would look like if gas went up to $5 a gallon.

Percy Jackson and the Whatevers... Finally! Chris Columbus got through his indie film phase, grew up again, and is back in BlockbusterVille. A more apt title would've been 'Of Gods and Nerds.' Just throwing it out there.

Cop Out - Well, it took 16 years, but Kevin Smith finally went Hollywood!

The Losers - Remake of Mystery Men

Labor Pains - Remake of Second Thoughts

Manhattan - Why, Ernest Hemingway ought to punch that guy in the mouth!

The Misadventures of Buster Keaton - Well, they didn't claim to be INTERESTING misadventures!

Hat Check Honey (1944) - Oh, gotta like that title. I think that was an Irving Cohen song!

Labor Pains - I guess it goes without saying that I saw this for rent at Safeway and couldn't help but have the thought reinforced: oh, Lindsay, how far you've fallen. Even Tina Fey can't save you from yourself.

The Beach (2000) - We adapt. And move on..... and not watch the same movies over and over and over and over...

Love Simple - That title sounds familiar...

Love Actually - meh

Death Wish II - Music by Jimmy Page. Rock 'n Roll!!!

Green Zone - Bourne 3.5 with an environmental message?

She's Out Of My League - 2010's shaping up to be a great rom-com year. But where's Aniston's entry?

The Bounty Hunter - Ah! There it is!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - Photographed by Jeff Cutter. Somehow that makes sense.

Remember Me - Perfect title. A fine edict for the ladies.

Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang - So does Richler get credit for the Jacob Two-Two animated series?

Curious George 2 - It's good... just not theater release good.

Miss March - Here's a handy tip... I guess for the ladies. Any movie that features a male character who utters the line "(name)! (month, year)'s Centerfold of the Month! How are you?" is NOT a good movie. BASEketball included. I guess those are the only two.

Watchmen - Just watched a little of this on HBO. Boy, what a rancid piece of sh... oe leather that is. Digital gushing blood and all. All the girls are nymphos and all the boys are cases of roid rage, nerds and jocks alike. What an idealized world. Not that Nixon as President for Life isn't a bad idea. He is awfully iconic. Americans have gotten used to worse. Of course, it wasn't on an HBO HD channel. Maybe I just need the Blu-Ray of it to change my perspective! (hint, hint)

Boys and Girls (2000) - Sex changes everything.

Trans America - Sex change's everything.

Hot Tub Time Machine - Was I hallucinating, or did I see John Cusack in a trailer for a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine? That was a mirage, right? John Cusack's not... ACTUALLY...

Repo Men - They took some stem cells from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and grew this movie. And I think a couple of you sickos out there know what I'm talkin' about! Hoh, yeah...

Repo Chick - Sequel to Repo Man. The actual sequel, that is, made by the same director. Good release timing, incidentally. Not as much of a market for that Straight to Hell sequel, I guess.

And now, Conan O'Brien presents Repo Baby. Clutch Cargo time again!

Auteur Watch - Sandra Bullock

Yup, no doubt about it, in your movie trivia SATs, what 2005 was to George Clooney, 2009 is to Sandra Bullock... at least, in terms of Oscars. This Arlington peach is up for the Best Actress category, if I remember correctly, for her biggest box office success of the year, The Blind Side. In a close second, The Proposal, and in a rather distant third, All About Eve... Steve. Sorry, a Freudian Oscar slip. I think this makes her the first former cheerleader to be nominated for an Oscar. See? Dreams DO come true!
But let's bear in mind that she can do more than just act! She's a producer AND a director! Well, she just made the one film. Here's how I think it went down: after working on While You Were Sleeping, she thought to herself, well! I'll bet even I could direct a movie! And she had just the script all ready and in the can to go: a little gem called Making Sandwiches. Unfortunately, she didn't have a budget for a feature length version, so the 30 minute version would have to do. And working with Eric Roberts probably swore her off ever directing again, but still, she gave it the old college try. And to her credit, there's nothing more pathetic in the biz's jaded eyes than making the feature length version of your short movie, which she hasn't been tempted to do yet, but don't deny the world your gift, S.B.! Direct again soon! Jump back on the horse!

The Islands Have It

Oh, it's a crackerjack week at the box office. Wish I bet on it at vegas. I figured Cop Out wouldn't hit #1, but I didn't think Shutter Island would beat it out for first place! Leo's still got it. Moving gracefully into the adulthood phase of his career, but he still looks quite boyish. Guess the moviegoing public's turning liberal or something! Why, heads must be exploding over at Fox Noise, but not to worry. Bruce Willis comes in a close second with Cop Out. We'll see how it does next week. America's just not ready to laugh right now. The other debut this week is something called The Crazies, apparently a remake of a George Romero picture. What, he couldn't remake it himself? What is it with him and zombies? It's like some kind of motif with him. Even movie characters are getting tired of zombies.

Spoilers: Oh, but I've given away too much already

And Soderbergh does it again, but in the final analysis, this isn't your typical Participant production. They've taken us through the meat packing plant looking glass, to Syriana... but I guess, in a way, it is your typical Participant production. I don't know.
But I agree wholeheartedly with my fellow viewing companion who loved the movie like I did but found the casting of comedians cute at first, then progressively more annoying. Culminating with that little pipsqueak Patton Oswalt... WHAT? I meant that in a good way! After all, he was Remy, right? Remy was arguably a pipsqueak?... oh, I'm in so much trouble. Jeffrey Ross is going to kick my ass. And even now I'm having second thoughts about The Soup's Joel McHale. He's a nice guy, but the FBI can't hire guys like him! It's just wrong!
As for the rest of the cast, well, they do what they can. It's a step up from Bubble, I guess. Melanie Lynskey's ship has come in again; either that, or Drew Barrymore was unavailable. But then again... The Kurgan as a lawyer? Puh-leeze. Then again, good career choice for an evil Highlander, I guess.
A brief word about the plot. Since The Sixth Sense, movies have trained us all to prepare for the inevitable repeat viewing, where we pick up all the nuances we didn't get the first time around. Such is the case here. Also, you might have to turn up the sound to 100 and put on the English subtitles. Yup, seems to be mumblecore, as it's called. Good label! And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the retro feel to this movie, mostly due to Marvin Hamlisch's delightful score. Like Sting rejoining The Police, Marvin's finally gone full circle in his career and gone back to his roots. Bananas, in particular. Watch that again, and you'll see what I mean!
I guess that's all I got. Go see The Informant! today!

Good double bill with: Shattered Glass, but if you watch them back to back, you might feel like blowing your brains out

****
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Critiquing the Critics: Doesn't ANYONE hate Ratatouille?

Okay, okay! So I liked it. All Pixar movies are great. I can't fight it. On the other hand, there's murmurs that The Princess and The Frog are going to go Antitrust on Pixar's Oscar monopoly this year! It remains to be seen. I'll go down with the ship of my picks. Besides, I'll bet Up looked better in 3-D!
Anyway, it's been a while since I saw the Rat movie, and I must say I still don't buy it. A rat that can cook. But the film does as good a job as can be done of bringing that premise to life, with enough visceral thrills in between to compensate. I'm telling you, we're living in the Golden Age of Movie Plotting! The screenwriters themselves have become studio chiefs in and of themselves. Master chess players that can see ten, twelve moves ahead, strictly controlling the information that gets leaked to the audience over the course of eight reels. And surely, the IMDb has noticed that Auguste and Gusteau are anagrams of each other? Worse yet, you shift the letters of Auguste to the left twice with wrap-around, and you GET Gusteau! Check this out...
auguste
ugustea
gusteau
Oh, I think I just got my geek on, as they say. And I think it's past my bedtime. As for the acting, well, Janeane Garofalo was simply marvelous. I wish I didn't know in advance that it was her so I could be extra impressed afterwards. The schlub who gets used by Ratatouille like a giant meat puppet, well, he did his schlubby best, I suppose. And Ian Holm was pretty great as the bad guy. See also Big Night where he plays a similar role, only more British, if I recall correctly. And I coulda sworn that was Donald Sutherland as Anton Ego, the restaurant critic, but no! It was, in fact, Peter O'Toole ... doing a Donald Sutherland impression.
Yup, Brad Bird's got that magic touch. Two Oscars in a row, if you count 2004 and 2007 as being in a row. Only in Hollywood, baby! And I like to think that his tenure at The Simpsons had something to do with it, but no, it was probably his work with Spielberg in the late 80s that is the culprit. But that magic seems to have 1906 on hiatus for a while... My vocabulary escapes me at this late hour. What do they call it? On the back burner? In development? Re-writes? You get the idea. Oh, but there I go again, just getting negative all over everything. Speaking of which, didn't the water look a little too metallic to you folks at that one point where the rats are sailing away? At the beginning of the movie? I tell you, a $150 million budget doesn't go very far these days. Well, hopefully, the technology will eventually get better and cheaper as the years go on. Pixar uses Macs, right?

***1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

p.s. Okay, finally posted the image... damn! I was even wrong about the water.

Auteur Watch - Catherine Breillat

Fine! YOU come up with your own girl auteurs!
But ain't it the life, though? She is a frickin' genius, you must admit. A novelist at age 17, teaching film at Columbia. The university, not the studio. Much more prestige. But if I had to guess, I'd say her favourite decade was the 80s. Sure, she only had the one film to direct, but man! She was writing like crazy. And probably enjoying a lot of fine wine and cheese. Ah, to be in your 30s. The world leaves you a little more alone, you learn to calm down and appreciate the finer things in life. Now it's the 2000s and she's close to retirement, but it's still just work work work. Keep shocking us, girlfriend! Someone's gotta do it.

A One-Debut Week! or Get Your Russell Simmons Visa RushCard NOW!!!!!

And the team of Scorsese-New DeNiro does it once again. I don't know how! I thought liberals were box office poison, and they don't come much more liberal than Leo, my friends. Of course, maybe it's just that he rubs elbows with 'em: Al Gore, Thom Hartmann, what have you. My good friend and I were scratching our heads over the latest installment of At The Movies with ... those two dudes that aren't named Ben. And they hated hated HATED Shutter Island! One of 'em said this was Marty's worst film since Bringing Out The Dead, and I'd probably agree with that. We both hated The Departed, but at least we SAW it! ...actually, I think I got BOTD on DVD somewhere. Some of the cast of Raising Arizona united again. Do people still say that about ol' Nic Cage? Well, I liked him in Raising Arizona... and to a lesser extent, Adaptation. But surely he's currently filming the greatest role of his life: Chapter 11 bankruptcy candidate? Must be the Season of the Witch or something! Tee hee hee...
And that's it! Only one film debuted this week! Man, talk about a slow week. Think of all the films that didn't even place in the top 10. Surely others were trying? No, next week will be a bloodbath. Will Kevin Smith finally be vindicated and crack the #1 spot? If only for one week? Or are people sick and tired of ol' Die Hard himself, Bruce Willis? I kinda am! Don't worry, BW, it's just the jealousy talking, of course. Also, I'm still steaming over Bandits. Can't do the action stuff forever now!

Critiquing the Critics: Not the John Hughes movie of the same name...

...or did I just imagine something again? Didn't John Hughes get Howard Deutch to direct a movie about a high school kid finding himself over a long weekend after getting locked into his locker by the school bully? ¶ Oh, I'm just trying to delay the inevitable again, as usual. Well, the buzz about The Hurt Locker continues to swirl as the big Oscar ceremony approacheth. And now the buzz is that she'll be the first female director ever to win an Oscar. But for a guy like me, I can't help but think, what does this say about the Academy? I mean, it's not like they'd be giving the award to Allison Anders or Nancy Savoca or, God forbid, a raging feminist like Jane Campion. No, perhaps it's time after all to give the director of Point Break and Strange Days her due. That is, unless James Cameron wants it more.
The film has damn near received universal critical acclaim. Four stars, A+, what have you. But I usually get the best street cred read on a film from The Onion, and they've abandoned me in this instance.
However, all was not lost, as my old reliable friends at the World Socialist Web Site were on the case. I KNEW there was a reason I couldn't enjoy this film too much! Sure, defusing a bomb is a tense situation, but somehow the film for the most part neglects the larger picture. Some have ventured to call this film apolitical, but we live in such a knee-jerk society that can instantaneously build towers of paranoia Babel out of two words. ("Global test" ring a bell?) Two words is the ideal length, or maybe it's just two syllables now. Very yin yang. But I ask you, with Iraq being the new Vietnam and all, what could be more political than saying you want to get out of Iraq? Which that one black dude does at the end of the... oops! Forgot. Spoiler Alert. No, the moment where the Iraqi citizen tries to engage him in conversation and he goes "Yo! This ain't a meet 'n greet, motha..." That about sums it up right there.
That being said, I found the acting in the film to be exemplary across the board. The three guest stars did well. My viewing companions were wondering if David Morse was being sarcastic when talking to the hero of the movie. It does seem to walk a tightrope, but in the end it seemed to be respect for this crazy-ass dude that's almost diffused a thousand explosive devices.
The script is the key thing, as it usually is. From the writer of In The Valley of Elah, Mark Boal did some research for this movie in Iraq, apparently, and it shows. I think he'll probably get the Oscar... I already forget what I predicted. Although I don't have the genius to make direct isomorphic comparisons to Hurt Locker and Point Break, I couldn't help but think they were both similar in terms of the quest for adrenalin. Hurt Locker's just a little less campy. Okay, a lot less. I think that's all I got. Guess I shoulda got to the review a little sooner after I saw it.

***1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

My 2010 Oscar picks

Yeah, I know this image SEEMS inappropriate, but I did a double take at first. I thought that was Faye Dunaway on the right! ¶ Yes, it's time again to predict the Oscars. Shouldn't be hard this time: I'm thinking Avatar's going to sweep everything it's nominated for. No acting awards, but even if it did get some the elite Oscar voting block wouldn't pick Sam Worthington or Zoe Saldana or... whoever else. I first had this realization when Schindler's List got dissed for the acting by the Oscar voting block. Now they just don't nominate the actors involved at all, like with Lord of the Rings 3.
As for 2007's big winners, well, you never know! There might be an accounting error, or maybe a solid voting bloc will vote the least expensive Best Picture winner out of protest... something like that. There's some leftover goodwill from NCFOM apparently amongst the nominating bloc. Not so much for, say, M. Night Shyamalan, for some reason. Anyway, Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep seem to be shoe-ins. Sandra Bullock wants that Oscar so bad she can taste it, but I don't think the baby boomers are yet ready to relinquish their might. After all, 60's the new 30! Mo'Nique's the odds on fave in supporting actress. Waltz of Inglourious Bastids is the odds-on fave for supporting actor; otherwise, it's anyone's guess. Disney's going head to head against itself with Up and The Princess and the Frog. I'm thinking Pixar will still take home the prize, but Crazy Heart will win for song. Gotta; just gotta... then again, maybe not! And once again I'm using the weighted system. A ten means it's most likely to win, a one is least likely. Just my opinion. We'll see how well I do out of 121 points. Sorry to dis you, Clooney, but this isn't 2005, and Up in the Air's not the it film. Otherwise, you're still the man, man! And as always, for the short films and documentaries, I go with the best sounding title, just like the Oscar voters themselves.
Awright! On to the picks:

Best Motion Picture of the Year
10# Avatar (2009) - James Cameron (I); Jon Landau (I)
9 # A Serious Man (2009) - Joel Coen; Ethan Coen
8 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - "tbd"
7 # An Education (2009) - Finola Dwyer; Amanda Posey
6 # District 9 (2009) - Peter Jackson (I); Carolynne Cunningham
5 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Lawrence Bender
4 # Up (2009) - Jonas Rivera
3 # The Blind Side (2009) - "tbd"
2 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Lee Daniels (I); Sarah Siegel-Magness; Gary Magness
1 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - Daniel Dubiecki; Ivan Reitman; Jason Reitman

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
5 # Crazy Heart (2009) - Jeff Bridges (I)
4 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Jeremy Renner
3 # A Single Man (2009) - Colin Firth
2 # Invictus (2009) - Morgan Freeman (I)
1 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - George Clooney

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
5 # Julie & Julia (2009) - Meryl Streep
4 # An Education (2009) - Carey Mulligan
3 # The Last Station (2009) - Helen Mirren
2 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Gabourey Sidibe
1 # The Blind Side (2009) - Sandra Bullock

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
5 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Christoph Waltz
4 # The Last Station (2009) - Christopher Plummer (I)
3 # The Lovely Bones (2009) - Stanley Tucci (I)
2 # Invictus (2009) - Matt Damon
1 # The Messenger (2009/I) - Woody Harrelson

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
5 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Mo'Nique
4 # Nine (2009) - Penélope Cruz
3 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - Vera Farmiga
2 # Crazy Heart (2009) - Maggie Gyllenhaal
1 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - Anna Kendrick (I)

Best Achievement in Directing
5 # Avatar (2009) - James Cameron (I)
4 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Kathryn Bigelow
3 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Lee Daniels (I)
2 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Quentin Tarantino
1 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - Jason Reitman

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
5 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Mark Boal
4 # A Serious Man (2009) - Joel Coen; Ethan Coen
3 # The Messenger (2009/I) - Alessandro Camon; Oren Moverman
2 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Quentin Tarantino
1 # Up (2009) - Bob Peterson (III) (screenplay/story); Pete Docter (screenplay/story); Thomas McCarthy (I) (story)

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
5 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Geoffrey Fletcher
4 # An Education (2009) - Nick Hornby (I)
3 # District 9 (2009) - Neill Blomkamp; Terri Tatchell
2 # Up in the Air (2009/I) - Jason Reitman; Sheldon Turner
1 # In the Loop (2009) - Jesse Armstrong (I); Simon Blackwell; Armando Iannucci; Tony Roche (I)

Best Achievement in Cinematography
5 # Avatar (2009) - Mauro Fiore
4 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Robert Richardson (I)
3 # Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) - Bruno Delbonnel
2 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Barry Ackroyd
1 # Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009) - Christian Berger (I)

Best Achievement in Art Direction
5 # Avatar (2009) - Rick Carter (I) (art director); Robert Stromberg (art director); Kim Sinclair (set decorator)
4 # Sherlock Holmes (2009) - Sarah Greenwood (I) (art director); Katie Spencer (I) (set decorator)
3 # The Young Victoria (2009) - Patrice Vermette (art director); Maggie Gray (set decorator)
2 # The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) - David Warren (I) (art director); Anastasia Masaro (art director); Caroline Smith (II) (set decorator)
1 # Nine (2009) - John Myhre (art director); Gordon Sim (set decorator)

Best Achievement in Costume Design
5 # The Young Victoria (2009) - Sandy Powell (II)
4 # Nine (2009) - Colleen Atwood
3 # Coco avant Chanel (2009) - Catherine Leterrier
2 # The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) - Monique Prudhomme
1 # Bright Star (2009) - Janet Patterson (I)

Best Achievement in Sound
5 # Avatar (2009) - Christopher Boyes; Gary Summers; Andy Nelson (I); Tony Johnson (II)
4 # Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) - Greg P. Russell; Gary Summers; Geoffrey Patterson (II)
3 # Star Trek (2009) - Anna Behlmer; Andy Nelson (I); Peter J. Devlin
2 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Paul N.J. Ottosson; Ray Beckett
1 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Michael Minkler; Tony Lamberti; Mark Ulano

Best Achievement in Editing
5 # Avatar (2009) - Stephen E. Rivkin; John Refoua; James Cameron (I)
4 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Bob Murawski; Chris Innis
3 # District 9 (2009) - Julian Clarke
2 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Sally Menke
1 # Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) - Joe Klotz

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
5 # Avatar (2009) - Christopher Boyes; Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
4 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Paul N.J. Ottosson
3 # Up (2009) - Michael Silvers; Tom Myers (II)
2 # Star Trek (2009) - Mark P. Stoeckinger; Alan Rankin
1 # Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Wylie Stateman

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
3 # Avatar (2009) - Joe Letteri; Stephen Rosenbaum; Richard Baneham; Andy Jones (VI)
2 # Star Trek (2009) - Roger Guyett; Russell Earl; Paul Kavanagh (II); Burt Dalton
1 # District 9 (2009) - Dan Kaufman (I); Peter Muyzers; Robert Habros; Matt Aitken (I)

Best Achievement in Makeup
3 # The Young Victoria (2009) - John Henry Gordon; Jenny Shircore
2 # Il divo (2008) - Aldo Signoretti; Vittorio Sodano
1 # Star Trek (2009) - Barney Burman; Mindy Hall (I); Joel Harlow

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
5 # Crazy Heart (2009) - Ryan Bingham (I); T-Bone Burnett
- For the song "The Weary Kind".
4 # The Princess and the Frog (2009) - Randy Newman (I)
- For the song "Down in New Orleans".
3 # The Princess and the Frog (2009) - Randy Newman (I)
- For the song "Almost There".
2 # Nine (2009) - Maury Yeston
- For the song "Take It All".
1 # Faubourg 36 (2008) - Reinhardt Wagner (music); Frank Thomas (XV) (lyrics)
- For the song "Loin de Paname".

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
5 # Avatar (2009) - James Horner
4 # Sherlock Holmes (2009) - Hans Zimmer
3 # Up (2009) - Michael Giacchino
2 # The Hurt Locker (2008) - Marco Beltrami (I); Buck Sanders
1 # Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) - Alexandre Desplat

Best Short Film, Animated
5 # French Roast (2008) - Fabrice Joubert
4 # Wallace and Gromit in 'A Matter of Loaf and Death' (2008) (TV) - Nick Park (I)
3 # Logorama (2009) - Nicolas Schmerkin
2 # Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty (2008) - Nicky Phelan; Darragh O'Connell
1 # La dama y la muerte (2009) - Javier Recio Gracia

Best Short Film, Live Action
5 # The New Tenants (2009) - Joachim Back; Tivi Magnusson
4 # Istället för abrakadabra (2008) - Patrik Eklund (I); Mathias Fjällström
3 # Miracle Fish (2009) - Luke Doolan; Drew Bailey
2 # The Door (2008) - Juanita Wilson (II); James Flynn (IV)
1 # Kavi (2009) - Gregg Helvey

Best Documentary, Short Subjects
5 # China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province (2009) (TV) - Jon Alpert; Matthew O'Neill (III)
4 # The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant (2009) (TV) - Steven Bognar; Julia Reichert (I)
3 # Music by Prudence (2010) - Roger Ross Williams; Elinor Burkett (I)
2 # The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner (2009) - Daniel Junge; Henry Ansbacher (II)
1 # Królik po berlinsku (2009) - Bartosz Konopka; Anna Wydra

Best Documentary, Features
5 # Food, Inc. (2008) - Robert Kenner; Elise Pearlstein
4 # The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers (2009) - Judith Ehrlich; Rick Goldsmith
3 # Which Way Home (2009) - Rebecca Cammisa
2 # The Cove (2009) - "tbd"
1 # Burma VJ: Reporter i et lukket land (2008) - Anders Østergaard; Lise Lense-Møller

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
5 # Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009)
- Germany,
4 # Ajami (2009)
- Israel.
3 # El secreto de sus ojos (2009)
- Argentina.
2 # La teta asustada (2009)
- Peru.
1 # Un prophète (2009)
- France.

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
5 # Up (2009) - Pete Docter
4 # The Princess and the Frog (2009) - John Musker; Ron Clements
3 # Coraline (2009) - Henry Selick
2 # The Secret of Kells (2009) - Tomm Moore
1 # Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) - Wes Anderson (I)


Whew! Long list... I ain't hyperlinking all that!!!!!

Auteur Watch - Lizzie Borden

Ha ha, very funny. Well, I couldn't find a pic of Lizzie Borden, the filmmaker. Apparently, she was born Linda, but decided to change her name because it was close enough to the famous Lizzie Borden of folklore. Musta hurt her career a little bit. People would think she was hard to work with. So, which is it? Which Decade do you think director Lizzie Borden likes best, as she looks back on her full life and wonders silently to herself, where oh where did I go wrong? Was it the go-go 70s? Bell bottom pants, experimental hair styles, and the coolest music ever produced in the history of the universe? She made a film called Regrouping in 1976, and personally, I can't think of a better way to celebrate our nation's bicentennial. Let me check to see if my video store has it... as usual, I got too many things going at once. ...nope, don't have it. They don't even have a Lizzie Borden director section, the bitches!
Or perhaps it was the 80s? Punk hairstyles, big hair bands: handsome guys all. Damn, they even SUNG handsomely! And of course, Sally Cruikshank had to go and ruin it all with her damn stylish cartoons. L.B. made her trademark piece during this time: Working Girls... I assume it's Working Girls. I doubt it's 1992's Love Crimes! I'm just saying.
No, if I had to guess, I'd say Lizzie Borden's favourite decade has got to be the 2010s. She's got a Bob Marley documentary coming up! Fingers crossed; hopefully, she won't take all decade to get it done.

Wikipedia: Lizzie Borden (filmmaker)
Interview with Lizzie Borden at suicidegirls.com

Oh, this is the one he'll be remembered for...

Director Garry Marshall, that is. Once again, he proves he's king of the box office. At least, for this one week. That Georgia Rule was a bit of a misfire, but I guess he recovered. And it really wasn't his fault: who knew Lindsay Lohan's career would crash and burn like the fiery meteor it's become? ...okay, bad metaphor. Maybe more like the shooting star from Joe Dirt, let's put it that way. And through it all, Hector Elizondo's been by his side. Hector's missed out on some sweet gigs because of it, having to re-arrange his schedule at Garry's every last whim, and I mean EVERY last whim! Dear God, they even did Dear God together! And yet, Bruce Almighty gets all the credit. Go figure. Yes, all the people who've ever made a film with Marshall seems to be on hand: Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, the list goes on and on. But I guess people are going to see it because they happen to be at the theater and they go "Oh, look! Valentine's Day. Just like the holiday of the same name! Aww, that's cute. Let's see that!" Assume that's a dialogue. Or they go "Avatar's all full. Well, what else is there? The only thing that's open is Valentine's Day? That's not like that 3-D horror flick, I hope... oh, well, let's see that, I guess."
No, no, I guess people are just getting sick of Avatar at this point. Thank goodness it's made $660 million at the box office! It'll turn a profit someday. Everything else is sliding, baby. Dear John goes from 1 to 5; Edge of Darkness, well, let's put it this way: it's almost daylight again, heh heh. Amongst the newbies this week: Chris Columbus has finally gotten his indie film phase out of his system, and after Rent and Beth Cooper he's finally come to his senses with another blockbuster. Except, it's got a long-ass title, man! Who wants to read all that? Sheesh! The other one is a Wolfman reboot. And it's done right by director Joe Johnston. I hear he once worked on Raiders of the Lost Ark! Even the janitor on that film's a director now! I gotta go...

Reflections on Viewings Past: The War On Terror

Oh, the computer's trying my patience tonight. Must be trying to prevent me from saying the horrible things I'm about to say.
It has to do with the War on Terror... or whatever it's called these days. See, the talking heads still insist that we get good data from people who get tortured. See, this was when America used to stand for something, a beacon of hope in a world gone mad, some crap like that. And yet people, mostly on TV, still insist that if you torture someone, particularly one that's been labeled a terrorist, they'll tell you the truth if you torture it out of them! That's where Payback comes in. I know, I know, there's a lot of Paybacks out there. There's a TV series called Payback. Then there's Mr. Payback, the first interactive movie... and probably the last. After all, making movies is hard enough... now they have to be interactive? But the one I'm talkin' about is the 1999 Icon Production itself, starring and possibly directed by... that's right! Mel Gibson. I know, I know, but let's try to set aside all those extenuating circumstances for a minute, of which there are so very, very many. Let's forget Mel's Christ movie for a second, but let's try to keep Mel's many Fox News appearances in mind, because they sorta come into play here!
Anyway, there's the big torture scene at the end, and ... oh, yeah, let's also forget that the movie encourages us to root for the bad guy, but as always, the bad guy's just bad for a little while, just enough to get back on his feet, but then he becomes a big softie we can all sympathize with. Anyway, so Mel's holding the bad guy's son hostage, right? And the bad guy is... you guessed it! Torturing Mel! Trying to beat his son's whereabouts out of him, one toe at a time. SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN'T WORK. See, Mel's thought one step ahead, and gives the bad guys the address of the Big Exploding Room instead of the location of the kidnapped son!

So... is the debate over yet?

**1/2
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

Auteur Watch - Kathryn Bigelow

So, has Ms. Bigelow been campaigning for her Oscar at all? Well, if Fox Movie Channel incessantly showing Point Break is any indication, then YES! And she may frequently cast Tom Sizemore, but she'll have to do it from the Stateville Prison for a while now. No, it looks like the old boy network of the DGA is going to coronate James Cameron again this year. The Academy likes to look at the director's whole body of work, normally, and last year they took a close look at David Fincher's body of work and decided, nah. We'll give it to Danny Boyle instead for Slumdog Millionaire. It made as much money as Benjamin Button but probably cost less.
And if you take a hard look at Ms. Bigelow's resumé, the 80s appears to be a wash, the 90s too campy, and the 2000s too low-profile. At least, she probably now wishes K-19 was more low profile...
Still, a nomination can't hurt, and look! Something on the horizon for her! Something called Triple Frontier. Ooh! Good title. So full of promise. Not as good and catchy as Future Shock, but then again, what is?

Oh yeah, it's that big a deal...

Yeah, I had a feeling I didn't need to rush to do that 8th week @ #1 jpeg! Well, folks, the unthinkable finally happened... at the box office this week.
Avatar was finally rousted from its throne atop the Box Office pile. It doesn't really matter what beat it... and you might ask, why is that, The Movie Hooligan? Because no one's telling the other half of the story, that's why! But I'm doing my due diligence as an unpaid reporter. I went to Variety.com, where you can apparently find the box office tallies for every week in history! Oh, things are just getting worse and worse for James Cameron and company, I tells ya. Why, back in 1997-1998, Titanic was #1 for much, much longer than Avatar! Why, this time 12 years ago, Titanic beat The Replacement Killers for the #1 spot! Followed by Good Will Hunting at #3, Blues Brothers 2000 at #4, and As Good As It Gets rounding out the Top 5. I like Variety because they do the top 100 or so. Spice World dropped to #7 that week, for those of you who were wondering. The week of 3/13-19/1998, Titanic was STILL #1, and Leonardo DiCaprio's Man in the Iron Mask debuted strong at #2... but not quite strong enough. It missed out by about $300,000. And then the week of 3/20-26/'98, Titanic beat Primary Colors for the #1 spot again! This is interesting stuff. Big Lebowski was already at #10. Well, it would take the stoners some time to get to the theater... better to just wait for the DVD. The week of 3/27 - 4/2/'98, Titanic dealt a double blow to Barbarino by beating a re-release of Grease AND Primary Colors for the #1 spot. No, it was April Fool's weekend 1998 when the then new Lost in Space finally took down the Titanic. Apparently, there was a couple even cuter than DiCaprio and Winslet, and that was the duo Heather Graham and ... Matt LeBlanc? Well, half-cuter, anyway. Titanic sank to #2 in that conflagration, and the week after it got even worse: #3, #4, back up to #3, #6, #4, #7, #7, #9, #7, ... this is getting crazy! #10, #13, #18, #16, #19, #13, #14, #16, #18, #18, #22... Finally! The 20s. This was the week of August 21-27, 1998. #34, #47, #50, #72, #96, ... and finally, October 2nd, 1998, it drops to below 116, just after Ayn Rand: A Sense of Life. I'm assuming it didn't make a comeback; the prints probably broke too many times after that.
Anyway, what debuts do we have this week? Well, there's Dear John at #1. Another damn Nicholas Sparks romantic movie. Then there's Crazy Heart. Well, I hope that by making money it doesn't ruin its chances at the Oscars. And finally, From Paris with Love... Luc Besson has to be stopped. Congress must pass a law banning any future Luc Besson productions from these tired shores. That's as far as I'll go with that.

I'm in Desktop Heaven!

Yes, every once in a while The Movie Hooligan has to take off his movie reviewer cap and put on his relationship cap to examine the wasteland that is pop cult's treatment of relationships. Take the Twilight saga, for instance. Some might say that it's a further sign of the dumbing down of our culture, and I won't stand in their way. But some may try to go beneath the shallow surface to say that Twilight sends a horrible message to young girls, something akin to the Promise Keepers credo, that they should just sit around and dreamily watch their men as they oil up their muscles and go to work on their motorcycles... something like that. Not necessarily in that order. But I try to look on the bright side and say it sends the following positive message: go for quality, girls! Look at those chiseled hunks of man meat offered forth on the silver screen for your dreaming pleasure! Are you not inspired? Even the creepy blonde-ish guy with the bug eyes has his charms. (He's in the big group poster, way in the back, of course) Don't settle for second best, girls. And besides: they've got SUPER POWERS! Duh! How can you do anything else in the presence of super powers besides sit around and gaze upon their possessors dreamily? Also, I don't know how vampires can go out in the daytime... Pattinson DOES go out in the daytime, right? Like he's just half vampire or something? Normally I'd ask you to explain it to me, but frankly I'm just not that interested in the mechanics of it.

Okay, bad example. But take the Orianthi song, According to You, for a different example. I use this one because it's been drilled permanently into my head for the last three months down at the gym. The song's narrator spends time complaining that their current boyfriend doesn't appreciate her. First of all, this is retarding the growth of the national debate through song. Have we so soon forgotten Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" and The Pussycat Dolls' song "Dontcha"? No, I guess we just need to take the necessary two steps back, thanks to Orianthi, so let's continue. So the song's narrator files her complaint: "According to you, I'm stupid, etc." Then the song switches gears: "According to him, I'm beautiful, incredible..." You get the idea. But remember this: the song's called According to You, not According to Him. Besides, what's the point of going into a relationship where you know you're going to get smothered to death with gooey, mushy praise? Where's the challenge? There's Hims at every corner bus stop, just waiting to evolve into unappreciative Yous. I have a feeling she'll come to her senses and go back to the You in this story. After all, what's so bad about the Nazi quarterback with the awesome van anyway? He'll provide for you financially... when he's not sawing the heads off Barbie dolls in the basement, that is.

Which brings me to The Science of Sleep. Normally I lavish praise on the crew, but this time it's all Jean-Louise this and Jean-Claude that. All strangers to me! Phooey! What, was Jean-Yves Escoffier so unavailable, I ask you? ...oh, I guess he is! Rather permanently, at that! Anyway, I had hesitation going into it, knowing it's Michel Gondry. I know he's a genius and all, but I and my regular viewing companions didn't make it through Be Kind Rewind, for one. Something about Mia Farrow entering grandma phase just deeply depressed me, for one. And Human Nature was too weird even for me, but I guess I'm just not a hardcore Patricia Arquette fan, hirsute or otherwise. And this Stephane TV? Total rip-off of Al TV! Seriously, though, I was with it at first. The animation was good, even though there wasn't enough of it. The cardboard highways were fun. The short bursts of animation reminded me of those music videos in the mid-80s that had limited animation budgets, featuring cartoon characters looking over their shoulders... ACDC's Sink the Pink and The Rolling Stones' Harlem Shuffle come to mind. They're the only examples I can think of. (oh, for God's sake, find 'em on YouTube yourselves!!)

But perhaps the film is intended as a prolegomena to any future romantic involvement with incessant dreamers. Maybe I just misread the whole thing. Just be forewarned: you're headed for a bumpy ride! And besides, they're apparently as culpable and as influenced by outside forces as ordinary, uncreative people. Take Stephane's blatantly disgusting coworker, for example. I believe French Esquire called him the Man of the New Millennium, if I'm not mistaken. You probably know him best as Napoleon in Night at the Museum 2. He looks like a cross between... I'm going to say, Peter Riegert and Geoffrey Rush. I forget who my viewing companions compared him to. Boon was the key one, though. He's more than a bit like Woogie from Something About Mary, and like the goofy best friend in every Richard Curtis vehicle. Not necessarily a stereotype, but more of an archetype, if you will! Maybe even an amalgam! But towards the end, when Stephane becomes a raving, psychotic lunatic, he uses Guy's romanticizing strategies all too literally, which just repel the target of his affections all the more.

Which brings me to Charlotte Gainsbourg. Not to be confused with Charlotte Rampling from Stardust Memories and Basic Instinct 2. No, CG's the new It girl... somebody's new It girl, not mine... And who knew? She's part of that Nepotistic New Wave still sweeping through Hollywood: she's the goddaughter of Yul Brynner. So you'd better be nice, sycophants!

As for the budding relationship between Stephanie and Stephane, well, first of all their names are too similar. Big turn off. But I knew there was trouble in paradise when she goes "Oh! You're the son of my landlord!" I suppose it could be a turn-on in a different movie, but here it was clearly a turn-off. And of course Stephane's a real charmer in his own right. He starts off giving her this big to-do list involving... what else? An animation! Animation's hard work, my friend, and right out of the gate he's dictating a big complicated animation sequence to the girl he's trying to woo, and she gets to do all the heavy lifting! No, here's what you're supposed to do to win her over. I learned this from Maxim magazine. First of all, you gotta do some listening, fellas. Normally not part of Maxim's ethic, but even they have exceptions. Say, for example, the girl you're trying to woo is telling you about a recent trip to the zoo she went on, and she starts talking about something cute one of the animals did. It's at THAT point you go "Oh yeah? Well, show me what that looked like..." Force her to do someembarrassing pantomime, guys! Duh! That's what the one dude did at the big party towards the end that just sent Stephane right over the edge. I don't know where you go from there, but I think the pizzafaces over at Maxim would surely agree: you get to a point in your life where it feels better to EARN the right to say "Nice outfit, honey! It'll look great on my floor." That was Tiger Woods's problem: when he would say it, well ... even I would jump at the chance. All that golf money? Shoot.

What else? Stephane's big dream hands were fun. Shoulda been more of that. The story setup seemed original and international enough, but fell flat along the way. Reminded me of Billy Liar a bit. Apparently, the one part that WAS true was that Billy Liar wrote a song that played in one of the clubs. The way he claims credit for it, it's the one time he told the truth! Stephane has a similar moment, but it's tinged with doubt: did Stephane finally get his calendar produced by those ungrateful swine he was working for? Or was the party just one big dream sequence? And did they really need to have that old guy come back in long hair to freak out Stephane en route to his big final date that would determine the rest of his life? Oh, but didn't they? It can't be a recurring symbol if you use it only once!

But somehow at the very end I had the feeling they would end with him in Stephanie's bed, unable to move. Ambiguity! The Big What If. We are all connected, and we all have to take care of one another, whether we like it or not. It's then just a question of how much effort you can squeeze out of everyone else.

***
-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan